Sam finished the last report on the idiot who’d forgotten every safety regulation on the books and tried to work on a wing without backup or the proper gear to make sure he stayed on the wing. The tap on his door came as he was trying to once again figure out how to save the report and send it on up the chain of command.
“If you’re bleeding, I’m going to make you fill out the paperwork.” He said without looking up from his contrary computer.
The warm chuckle slid over his hearing like warm syrup and he felt his stomach clench in anticipation of who he’d see when he turned around. “I promise I’m not bleeding and I don’t even want you to take my temp.”
Sam turned his chair around and grinned at the man leaning in his doorway. “It’s a good thing since the paperwork I just filled out was on one of your men, Colonel Griffin.”
“I heard about it. He’s going to be okay?” The Marine came further in and sat down in the visitor’s chair.
“He’s going to be fine except for some muscle spasms that should calm down after a few days on the muscle relaxant I prescribed. But I suggest that you have a little talk with him. The only person that would scare him more is Gunnie and I heard he’s on vacation.”
White teeth flashed in a grin that was so infectious, Sam found himself relaxing. “Gunnie got back today and you’re right, he will be scaring Jensen right into tomorrow. The one thing I will not tolerate is unsafe maintenance. And I don’t care who it is.”
“That’s one of the many things I told the young man while we were taking x-rays. No fractures and why there aren’t is a matter for his guardian angel.” Sam shook his head.
“I didn’t want to take up your time, Captain Hamilton. I just wanted to touch base with you and make sure you survived Belgrade since I haven’t talked with you since.”
Sam felt himself go beet red while he flashed back on the results of one too many drinks at the going away party his unit had before shipping out. “I survived . . . barely. I haven’t had a drink since.”
“I have to say, I’ve never met a more cheerful drunk in my room.” Colonel Griffin teased him gently.
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” Sam shook his head. “I was so turned around, I’m just lucky I didn’t try to bed down in the General’s room. I knew the table by the bed was in the wrong place but I thought the maids had changed it around. I wasn’t thinking too clearly at that point.”
“No problem, Sam. I always enjoy finding surprises in my bed. But I’d better let you get back to your report.” He stood up and stretched slightly.
“Sure. If I can just figure out how to save and send this sucker, you should have it on your computer by the time you get back to your office.” Sam kept his attention on the screen beside him.
“Hah! If the government had tried, I don’t think they could have created a harder program. Let me show you what my secretary showed me.” The Colonel came back around the desk and stood over Sam’s shoulder. “Just push alt F then choose option three and make sure that the little sent box pops up.” His fingers moved slowly on the keys so Sam could watch. “And . . . there it is, gone to my mailbox. Got it?”
Sam could feel the warmth of the hand on his shoulder and he managed a nod. “Thanks, I appreciate it. I’ll just make a note and post it on my desk until I have it memorized. Sometimes I wish they could just use off the shelf programs.”
With a squeeze, the Colonel dropped his hand and headed for the door. “That’s tantamount to heresy, Sam. Nothing but the best for the military.” He winked over his shoulder. “Never mind that it’s close to unusable. I like to think of it as a test of my ingenuity every time I turn the damned thing on. See you later.”
Sam lifted his hand and watched his visitor out the door. He found his hand trembling and he swiftly dropped it into his lap while he watched the empty doorway. His thoughts surged back and forth like the choppy waves he’d seen this morning on his drive to the base. What a way to end drill weekend! I can’t believe I sat like a lump while he was here. Damn. Damn. Damn. He’s going to think I’m an idiot.
The text danced on the screen while he thought back to his last night in Belgrade, a night that would forever remain one of his worst and best memories.
***
“You going to be okay, Sam?” Paul propped him up and opened the door for him.
“Sure, I’m just . . . fine. Fine. Fine.” Sam really liked the word fine. It was such a . . . fine word. That seemed awfully funny so he started chuckling while he tried to find the doorknob.
“Door’s open, Sam. Can you make it back to your room or should I come with you?”
Paul was smiling so he must like the word ‘fine’ too, Sam thought. “Fine. I can make it just fine. Straight back and to the left.”
“Okay, buddy, take some aspirin and get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning down at the air field.” Paul gave him a gentle push in the right direction and Sam tried walking but the floor kept moving under him.
Paul shut the door behind him with a final good night and Sam used the wall to keep his balance while he meandered down the long hall. He knew he had to keep quiet so he tried to tiptoe but the damned floor kept heaving up and down. Belatedly he remembered he needed to count the doors to make sure he got to his room. The hall light was dim and far away, his vision narrowing then expanding with no rhyme or reason.
“One . . . two . . . three . . . four. Whew! Home sweet home.” Opening the door, he couldn’t find the light switch so he gave up and just stumbled to the bed. Pausing only to kick off his shoes and take off his tie, he crawled thankfully into the worn sheets on the rickety cot and pulled the pillow over his head.
It was the unfamiliar scent that first told him that something wasn’t right. The faint odor teased his nostrils while his befogged brain tried to catalog the scent. Pulling the pillow off his face and onto his chest, he thought hard. Something clean and sharp but not astringent like he smelled after making rounds. Old Spice? Why does my pillow smell of aftershave?
Before he could come to grips with the problem, the door opened again and the light bloomed on. “Ouch! Turn it off, it hurts.”
“Excuse me?” The voice was one used to command, Sam could tell that but he couldn’t quite place it.
“Emergency, huh? Sure, I can take care of that if you’ll just make the room stop spinning.” He shut his eyes tight and held onto his head but the room just kept moving. He could hear the plaintive note in his voice but was unprepared for the chuckle that came by the bed.
Opening his eyes was a mistake because he was obviously hallucinating. A half-naked man with just a towel around his waist and a trickle of water still creeping across the hairless chest down to the loosely knotted towel stood by the bed.
“Well . . . Captain Hamilton.” The man read the nametag on Sam’s uniform. “I’d ask what you’re doing in my bed but it doesn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to figure out you missed your door and found mine instead. Just how drunk are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you. Just fine-e-e-e.” Sam had a sudden urge to just lean over and lick that little water droplet about to soak into the white towel.
That warm chuckle was back again and it made Sam feel safe. “Oh, I can see that Captain. Fine is indeed the word.”
“It’s Sam. Not captain. Only a captain when I’m working. We were celebrating.” He informed his new friend earnestly.
“Well, Sam, I can see you had a very good time, but how about I get you up and into your own room so you can sleep it off?” A strong hand gently touched his shoulder and Sam felt the heat of it all through his body.
“No, it was a fine time and I thought I was in bed.” That plaintive note was back
“Well, in a manner of speaking you are in bed. My bed. And I need it back, I’m afraid.”
“Your bed?”
“My bed.”
“Why’d they put your bed into my room?” Sam just couldn’t understand why the maids would have done that.
That chuckle cut right through his belabored thought processes and Sam felt good about making him laugh. “You are so wasted, my friend. And you’re going to hate yourself in the morning.”
“Paul said to take some aspirin but I don’t know why.” Nodding made his head spin so he took it in both hands to steady it.
“Well, Paul was right about that. Hold onto your head and I’ll get some for you.” The warm touch went away and the sound of bare feet crossing the ramshackle floorboards resounded in the room.
“Okay, here’s two aspirin and a glass of water.” The warm hand was back and Sam managed to hold onto the small white tablets until he could get them onto his tongue while the man held the glass steady for him to drink.
“Thank you. Can I go to sleep now?” Sam felt suddenly very sleepy and the urge to curl up and let go of the spinning world was strong.
“As soon as I get you into your own room. You’ll sleep better in room number, what was that number again?” The kind voice asked him a question.
“Number four. One, two, three, four.” Sam explained how to find it.
The man pulled the covers back and helped Sam stand up. The room did a one eighty on him and he clasped the broad shoulder in front of him with a little whimper. “I know, Sam. Just wait a minute and the room will stop spinning. Okay?”
“Better. Can I hang on to you?”
“Of course you can, Sam. Now, how about we try for the door?” The man was just a little shorter than he was so he could comfortably put an arm around his shoulders.
“Okay. You’re really warm, did you know that? Hot blooded, Mom would say.” Sam wove to the door, which seemed to being moving from side to side. “Hey look, the door isn’t there. Oops, now it is.”
The little chuckle was back and Sam felt good again so he joined in. They moved through the shifting door and down the hall two doors. This time Sam could see the number four. In a whisper that could probably be heard on the second floor, he let his new friend know they’d found his room.
“See, number four.”
“I can see that, Sam. Now, let’s get you into your very own bed so you can get some sleep. You’ve even got some company tonight.” The man picked up the teddy bear on his pillow and handed it to Sam before pulling the covers back.
“Not mine. Hers.” Sam swayed and was hastily steadied. “Dad says that you can’t save everybody. All you can do is try.”
“Your father is a very wise man, Sam. Sit down and let me get this uniform off. Whose teddy bear is it then if it’s not yours?” Gentle hands lowered him to the cot and started unbuttoning his uniform shirt.
“I packed all our medical supplies with stuffed teddy bears. Worked better then those icky plastic peanuts and then we had something to give the kids when we worked in the refuge camps. Her name was Sari and she was six. Pneumonia and malnutrition. If we could have just gotten there a little earlier, we could have saved her.” Sam saw the little girl with the shy smile in his mind’s eye. “When I gave her the bear, she held him so tightly she almost squeezed the stuffing out of him.”
The sure hands stripped his shirt off and began unbuckling his belt. “What happened to Sari, Sam?”
“She didn’t respond to the antibiotics. Had trouble breathing and when the fever started, she had no strength left to fight it. She just . . . faded away. They told me she died this morning and gave me back the bear.” Sam looked up into a warm green gaze. “I hate it when I lose someone. I shouldn’t care but it hurts.”
“Don’t stop caring, Sam. Hold on to that bear and remember her smile when she got him. You gave her a very precious gift and now she’s given you one. Lay back, Sam.” The warm hands slid his uniform pants off, leaving him in his t-shirt, boxers and socks.
Sam shivered and tried to keep back the tears that he didn’t want to shed in front of his new friend. “Thank you. I’ll be okay.”
He pulled up the blankets and tucked him in with the bear by his pillow. “Yes, you will, Sam. Now, close your eyes and go to sleep. Tomorrow will come all too soon.”
Sam sniffed and shut his eyes over the tears. “Good night.”
The warm hand stroked back the hair from his forehead with a soothing touch. “Sleep tight and wake refreshed.” The mesmerizing brush of that hand set up a rhythm that lulled Sam right into slumber.
***
Sam brought himself back to today with a start. He’d felt about an inch tall the next morning when he’d awakened with a hangover from hell and a complete set of memories of his stupid behavior the night before. He’d quickly discovered the name of the man, who’d put him to bed, returned his shoes and tie, hung up his uniform, let more aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table, then left a wake-up call with the unit secretary.
He’d even thought that his note of apology and thanks would be the end of it since Colonel Griffin’s Marine unit was stationed in Belgrade for the foreseeable future. But two weeks ago, he’d attended a morning briefing to find the man he remembered so vividly being installed as the new unit commander of their detachment of Marines. When he was introduced after the briefing, the only indication the Colonel had given that they’d met before was a smile with a quick wink that left Sam wondering if he’d seen it or not.
But today told him that he did remember Sam and it was time to sit down and take a good long look at the revelation that that evening had brought to him. Closing his eyes, he could still feel the warm hand on his shoulder and hear the chuckle slide like hot honey over his senses. He could still smell the whiff of Old Spice and see the twinkle in the green eyes that reminded him of the green of spring leaves; still feel the satin skin under his fingers and the strong shoulder under his hand. And the memory had left him with a hard-on that surprised him.
That night and his morning reaction had left him shaken. He’d always been a private man who’d never completely let anyone but his family see all of him. His dating habits had been normal all through school, residency and practice. Girls were wonderful people who often left him feeling bewildered. He had a few female friends and his best friend’s wife had welcomed him to stay friends with her husband. Not a common reaction, he’d found out the hard way.
Marriage tended to cut former ties to the friends dating from before the marriage, giving way to the new friends that came after. But Sheila and Paul had kept him among their friends and he’d even thought about talking to Paul about these strange feelings he’d been having. He’d never questioned his sexuality before but then, he’d never craved a man’s touch before either. But lately, his dreams had been erotic to the point of climax and they all featured Colonel Seth B. Griffin.
Sighing, he saved the file he’d forgotten he was working on and logged off the system. It was almost time to go off duty and he had another patient at home. Smiling, he thought of Ruth’s progress over the last two days. Her lung sounded dry at last and there was even some improvement in the left lung. She still coughed but it didn’t scare him anymore.
But thinking of Ruth reminded him of his little brother and the strange connection he shared with the sick stranger. He felt like there was too much hitting him all at once. Shaking his head, he headed out to the front office to see if there was anything that he could do to help shut down the weekend clinic.
Drill weekend was finally over and he got into his car with a sense of relief. Another month to try and come to grips with his bizarre fantasies about a man who could probably chew him up and spit him out. And would if he even had a hint what Sam was thinking.
I always enjoy finding surprises in my bed.
Sam could hear that deep voice in his head. Wistfully, he wondered what would happen if he ever did anything about his fantasies. Then shaking his head to clear away the ‘what-ifs’, he drove off the base towards home. Time to get home and check on his patient. Maybe it was time to give Sari’s teddy bear to her. There was something rather magical about the stuffed brown toy that sat on his dresser and Ruth would appreciate it.
*********
He came in through the kitchen and headed straight for Ruth. His mom was reading part of the newspaper aloud to the woman propped in the bed. “How’s my favorite patient?”
“Wow, Sam, you should have been wearing that uniform when we met. I would have never questioned you. I’d have been too busy panting after you.” Ruth wolf whistled then laughed at his blush. “Julie, you can see it, can’t you?”
“Well, he is my son but I’ve seen the effect he has on women of all ages whenever he shows up in uniform. I made sure he wore it at our last hospital fund-raiser. I think we pulled in an extra $10,000 just because of Sam.” Julie winked at Ruth and joined in her laugh. “But now that he’s home, I’m going to go see to dinner while he checks you out, Ruth.”
“Should I change clothes first or just discount the increased heart rate?” Sam teased right back, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her wrist between his fingers.
“Don’t change on my account. I’ll just lay back and fantasize.” Ruth smiled then laid her weak left hand on his arm. “What’s wrong, Sam? Did I say something wrong?”
Sam wondered how she knew she’d shocked him. Trying for a smile, he shook his head. “You just reminded me of something I’m trying to work through.”
“An inappropriate fantasy, Sam?” Her husky voice sighed just a bit. “Been there, done that. But not lately.”
“Your temp is back to normal . . . finally.” He put the thermometer away and listened to her chest for several moments. Removing his stethescope, he smiled down at her. “You’re well on your way to healthy.”
“Sam, there is no way I can repay you or your family for your care and concern but if you need someone to talk to, I’ll listen.” Ruth’s eye gazed into his steadily and her hand gripped his.
“I . . .” Sam stopped and gathered his thoughts. “After dinner, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
“Good. Troubles shared are troubles halved as my grandmother used to say.” Ruth let his hand go and rested back against the pillows. “I think I’ll take a little nap until then.”
He watched her breathing slow and could tell that within a minute, she was fast asleep. Shaking his head, he envied her the ability to go to sleep on command. Leaving the room, he kissed his mom at the stove. “Thanks for taking care of her today. She’s getting better.”
“I can tell, sweetheart. What are we going to do when she wants to leave? I’m worried that she’ll go right back to the streets.” Julie stirred something dark and rich looking in a saucepan.
“Gravy, huh.” Sam risked a quick taste. “Delish, Mom. If she wants to go back to the streets, we have no right to stop her. But I think she’s here in Boston for a reason. If we can help her accomplish what she came to do then we will. Hopefully, whatever is driving her will come to pass soon. She’s mentioned the Winter Solstice several times and that’s just three weeks away.”
“The roast will be done in forty five minutes. Your father is bringing some golf crony home with him so why don’t you go up and shower and change. I made rice and steamed broccoli for Ruth. It seems she’s a vegetarian. But you can either eat with us or with her, whichever you prefer. If the old crony is anything like George Witherspoon, you might want to escape and eat with Ruth.” Julie rolled her eyes and Sam laughed while heading up stairs to wash away the day.
He loved his father but some of the golfing buddies he’d brought home had been bores to say the very least. Golf was not the Holy Grail of most of the family, just his father and to some extent, Grandmother Penelope. Standing under the hot water, he soaped away some of the tension from his earlier encounter and the uncertainties he faced.
Rummaging in his closet, he chose a red sweater and a pair of jeans that were just about to make the transition from public to private wear. Several places were wearing nicely thin and he frowned when he thought about having to go shopping for new ones. Brushing his hair back, he looked around his comfortable room and decided for the hundredth time that he really needed to move out to his own place and let his mom have this room for her sewing.
But every time he made up his mind to move he got called up to ship out to another trouble spot. The real problem was that it was just too comfortable to stay here and he liked being with his family. Sighing, he looked at himself in the mirror. After all, it wasn’t like he wanted to bring anybody home with him. A pair of green eyes flashed across his mind and he groaned silently. Maybe telling Ruth about his sudden change of fantasy gender would help him to put it in perspective.
According to the Psych books, curiosity was normal. He might even be bi-sexual; the last class he’d attended back at Tufts had mentioned that among the statistics. As long as he stayed celibate, he’d never have to find out. That was looking more and more like his best option some days. He tried a rueful grin at himself in the mirror. It fell flat. Oh well, dinner with family and friends was a good start.
I will accept this and move on with my life.
Descending the stairs, he heard voices coming from the living room and his mom and dad laughing in unison. Turning the corner, he walked right into their dinner guest.
“Sam, I’d like you to meet a new member of the country club.”
The rest of the introduction went unheard while he gazed into Seth Griffin’s laughing green eyes.
Then again, maybe I won’t.
*******************
The end for now