Betaed by the lovely and talented IndigoCat, she didn't bite and no claw marks even, despite my love affair with the comma! Any changes made after this are purely my own fault.

WESTERN MANOR RETIREMENT HOME

Knock Knock

"Come in."

"Mr. Dunne?"

"Come in young man, have a seat and my name's JD, not Mr. Dunne."

"Thank you. My name's Anthony Andrews, but I go by Tony."

"Tony, what can I do for you?"

"I'm writing a story for my college newspaper about the history of the area and my teacher said you might be able to help me. He said you'd been a lawman years ago, I thought maybe you'd tell me your story."

"Tell me a little about yourself first and I'll think about it. Tell me about your pin."

"The rainbow pin? It's a sign of gay pride."

"You mean homosexual? Fags? Men loving men?"

"Maybe this was a mistake."

"Sit down! I was born almost ninety years ago in Boston. My mother was an unwed Irish immigrant. She was lucky enough to find a position as a chambermaid on an estate. They allowed her to keep me and I grew up there, learned to ride while working in the stables."

"How did you get out here?"

"Mama died when I was 17, she wanted me to go ta college, but there wasn't enough money; so I bought a pair of guns, a saddle and packed up and headed west. Wanted to be a gunfighter like the men in my dime novels. I found the rest if the seven and my life."

"The seven?"

"Chris Larabee, Vin Tanner, Buck Wilmington, Ezra Standish, Nathan Jackson and Josiah Sanchez. Let me tell you about how I met them..."

HOURS LATER

"I feel like I've hit the mother lode! Thanks for telling all of this, but what happened to them?"

"It started to come to an end when Ezra died. He'd been fighting consumption for a few years before he lost the battle. Despite Nathan getting his medical degree there wasn't much he could do. He managed to control Ezra's pain and symptoms long enough so Ezra could see his son born."

"His son?"

"He and Inez had married once she discovered she was pregnant, he was determined that his son would not be illegitimate. When he died he left all of us some money, enough to make us comfortable. Nathan married Rain and settled down. Chris and Vin decided the area had become too 'settled' and they moved to Mexico and started a horse ranch. Buck fell in love, moved to Denver and married. Me 'n Josiah just stayed here by ourselves, Buck blamed himself for me being alone, but that wasn't true at all."

"Why would he blame himself?"

"Because he fell in love with and married Cassandra Wells, Casey. The girl everyone assumed I was in love with. Would you like to hear the real truth?"

I was sitting in the jail when Josiah came in. "Brother Dunne, I heard about Buck and young Casey running off to Denver and getting married. Inez said that you'd been drinking. May I help?"

"Yeah, first stop calling me brother and second remember that I'm a grown adult and can make my own decisions. 'Kay?"

"Yes, okay."

"Lastly, I'm not in love with Casey, I've *never* been in love with Casey. We've always just been friends. I've been in love with someone else for a very long time, I just never knew how to tell this person that."

Josiah sat down next to me, "The only way to tell someone that you love them is just to say it."

"I just don't have the words." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, if you can't think of what to say then try showing them."

I looked at him, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" He nodded yes, what the hell I can only die once. Of course being slightly drunk was helping my bravery -- or stupidity. I turned toward him and in one move grabbed the back of his head, pulled him to me and kissed him. I figured this was gonna be my one and only chance to do this, so I had better do it right. I poured a lot of years of love, lust and passion into that kiss.

Josiah finally pulled back and stared at me, "What the hell was that all about?!"

I weakly smiled and slowly rose to my feet, "It was your idea, you said to use actions and not words." I inched towards the door.

"JD, get over here and sit your ass back down. I think we have a few things to discuss." I slowly dragged myself back to my chair and sat down with a heavy sigh. "JD, I don't have any plans to kill you. Would you please stop acting like you're about to meet your maker? Now what was that all about?"

"You told me to use actions so I did."

"JD, you can't be in love with me. I'm old enough to be your father. It's just you looking for some parental affection."

"Buck and Chris are old enough too, that don't mean I ever wanted to kiss either of them. I'm not looking for a father Josiah, I'm looking for a lover." He opened his mouth to say something and I put my finger over it, "It's okay, you don't have to think of any excuses, I understand."

He reached over and took my hand and held it in his, palm up. He lightly stroked from each of my fingertips down to the end of my palm using his own finger. "JD, you don't really know what you're asking for."

I shook my head, "Josiah, just because I'd never slept with a woman before I came out here doesn't mean I was a virgin."

Josiah's eyes got big, "You weren't?"

"No, I wasn't. Tom and I discovered the joys of male sex early; and to answer your next question Tom's father owned the estate where I lived and worked. We grew up together and learned all about life at the same time. That's part of the reason I was so quick to leave after Mama died. I knew Tom was expected to go to college, get married and have kids, there wasn't any room in his life for me -- so I left before we learned to hated each other."

"I..." Josiah shook his head, "I don't know what to say."

"Look it's okay Josiah, I'm a big boy. All you have to say is 'Thanks, but no thanks'." I stood up and headed for the door once again. I'd taken a few steps when Josiah reached up, grabbed me and pulled me down into his lap. He put one hand on either side of my face and pulled my head down so our foreheads were touching.

In a quiet voice he said, "I always felt like an old letch, watching you. I saw you grow from a good-looking boy into a damn attractive man. I've watched you mature into a person that I wanted to know better, both intellectually and physically. I kept telling myself that you were not mine. I could look but not touch."

He chuckled and pulled his head back so he could look into my eyes. "Let me tell you, over the past handful of years my hand has become my best friend, if you catch my meaning."

I grinned, "Boy do I. Been in the same position myself." I could feel his thumbs rubbing my cheeks and I turned my head slightly and pressed a kiss into his palm. "All this time and we could have been getting better acquainted. What a waste of time."

"No John, not a waste. We've gotten to know each other, our good points and our bad. We've made a strong, solid base to build a relationship on, now it's time to start the physical part." He leaned down and gently began kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him nearer. After a few minutes we both pulled away and took some deep breaths.

"Bedroom." I told him and he nodded in agreement.

"Church?"

"Saloon." Ever since Ezra had died I'd been spending the occasional night over the saloon, just keeping an eye on Inez and Patrick. I had a room with the big comfy bed *he* didn't have and the privacy *I* didn't have at the boarding house. Once the decision was made we both stood up just as my new deputy came in.

"Sheriff Dunne, Reverend Sanchez. I'm here for my shift." I smiled at Josiah and nodded my head towards the saloon. He smiled back and headed out the door while I took a few minutes to let my deputy know what was needed.

When I reached the saloon I stopped for a minute to talk to Inez and see how she and little Patrick were doing. She gave me a brief description of their day and told me that she'd sent a tray up with Josiah.

When Ezra had been dying I'd told the two of them how I felt about Josiah and they'd both urged me to do something, well I finally was and Inez let me know she was happy with me for getting it done. I think Ezra knew that we'd go out separate ways after his death, he knew that Josiah would never leave as long as his 'grandson' and 'daughter-in-law' were around and he thought that Josiah should be happy and have someone to share his life with. Since he knew I loved Josiah he'd nominated me for the job.

We talked for a few minutes and I made a quick walk-through of the saloon before going up the stairs. I knocked on the door of my room and called out, "It's JD." Josiah opened the door and ushered me in. He had the food laid out on the small table and he'd gotten comfortable by taking off most of his clothes. He gave me a brief kiss before pushing me down onto the bed and quickly stripping me of my clothes and then removing the last of his. We sat up in bed and fed each other food and kissed. Finally we decided we'd had had enough food and slid down into bed. Josiah rolled me over so I was lying on top of him and as he kissed me I slid my tongue in to play with his. "John, what do you want?"

"You."

"You have me, but *how* do you want me?"

"*Any*way I can get you, *every*way I can get you. I want to make love to you; I want you to make love to me. I want to taste you and taste *me* in you." I carefully lined up our cocks and started moving, "But just now, I want this."

He nodded his agreement and pulled my face down so he could kiss me, I could feel those large hands of his sliding up and down my body so gently. As we got closer he wrapped those hands around my ass and started moving me to suit himself, which worked out fine for me too.

After all was said and done (especially Dunne. Get it? Said and Dunne? Nobody ever gets my jokes.) and we were catching our breath and basking in the feeling when Josiah rolled us over so he was on top. It felt nice, made me feel safe somehow. Anyways he just looked into my eyes for a few moments before he started grinning. "I wonder if our brothers would be willing to come back and help with a house raising. Seems to me the sheriff should have a home of his own and not have to live in a boarding house. Of course the aforementioned sheriff could always ask a friend to share the home with him; two can do the chores easier than one."

"I don't know if Buck would, he's still feelin' awful guilty about Casey. I've told him over and over there ain't no reason to, we was just friends. I knew Casey was in love with him, she told me they were going to get married when they got to Denver. But still..."

"Maybe you need to try a different approach bro-- John." He rolled me off, sat up against the head of the bed after stuffing the pillows behind him. Then he pulled me up in between his legs and next to his chest. "Maybe you should tell Brother Buck that you've learned to accept the marriage, that Casey made the decision that was best for all. It was tough but you've learned to live with it, forgiven him and moved on. Tell him you hope there aren't any hard feelings and that you want to still be friends."

I interrupted him, "But there weren't any feelings between Casey and me to begin with!"

"With Buck it's easier to tell him you forgive him than convince him there's nothing he needs forgiven for."

It felt nice lying here, I could hear his heart beating and feel him breathing. Yup! I could learn to like this, planned to do this for the next, oh, hundred years or so. "Okay, so that's Buck. We know Nathan'll help but Chris or Vin? That would be a long way to come but it'd sure be nice to see them. Problem is I know Buck will never see what's goin' on between us, Nathan might but he'll never say nothin', but Vin... Vin definitely will see it for what it really is."

I could feel Josiah start to laugh, "JD, sometimes you're as blind as you say Buck is. Why do you think Chris and Vin picked such an uninhabited area to build their ranch?"

"Cuz Vin don't like bein' around a lot of people."

"Because they wanted to find a place they could share their lives *together*. Together like you and I, *together*.

My eyes grew wide and my mouth dropped open, "No! Really? How long?"

"Almost from the beginning."

"Damn. Does Buck know 'bout them?"

"Yup, seems to be fine with it too."

"Damn, that long?" I turned to look into his eyes and he nodded. "Damn! That makes me feel real stupid, not seein' that."

Josiah tightened his arms around me, "That's the way they wanted it, proves that it can be done, keeping a relationship like this quiet. Makes me feel good about our chances of keeping our love and lives private. *No*body should suspect anything about us, hell I'm old enough to be your father." I could see this age thing bothered him so I showed him that I didn't have any 'fatherly' feelings for him. I was looking forward to *showing* him that a lot in the years to come.

The next day I wrote a long letter to Buck saying what Josiah had told me to and got it on the stage headed for Denver.

I was doing my rounds when I ran into Nathan. "JD, Josiah was tellin' me yer gonna build a house, thought about where?"

"Yup. When Chris left he gave me the deed to his place. The way the towns growing that should be close enough if I'm needed, yet far enough away to give me a little peace and quiet. Josiah says he's gonna handle ordering what I'll need." Time to do a little scouting. "Nathan, how'd ya think Josiah'd react if I asked him ta move in with me? I mean privacy is one thing, but loneliness is another."

"He might like that JD, know he's been feelin' a mite unneeded lately. You know I think that would be a real good idea JD, be good fer both 'a you. Know it would make Rain feel better, she worries 'bout him not havin' anyone ta look after him. Know he's built like a horse, but he ain't gettin' no younger. Anyhow I jist wanted ta tell ya that ya got my help an' I'm sure Rain'll help feed everyone while we're workin'. Hell I'm sure most a the townsfolk will help, they're real fond a' you JD."

I could feel myself blush, that came from having such a fair complexion and I hate it. Nathan took pity on me and ignored it. "Josiah was sendin' off a telegram ta Chris, said you was writin' Buck. Be nice ta have us all together again."

We'd been walking as we were talking and when we stopped we were in position to see the town cemetery. Nathan gave me a sad smile, "Well, most of us anyway."

"Nathan don't go blamin' yerself, you did all that you could do. You know that fancy doctor from Denver told him he'd never live to see his son born. You gave him that Nathan, you gave him the chance to hold his son and tell Patrick that he loved him. That was damn important to him, to all of us and you made sure that happened. Speakin' of Patrick, can you believe he's gonna be four soon?"

"Can't believe it's been over three years since I seen Chris and Vin. Gonna be good ta see them."

"Yup."

"So did you build the house? Did the other three come?"

"Calm down kid! Yeah they came and we got the house built. Vin knew from the first about me 'n Josiah, he just told us he was happy for us. Buck and I managed to save our friendship, it was never the same, but maybe it was better. It was built on mutual understanding, trust and friendship without the hero worship that had been there before."

"Did you and Josiah stay together?"

"He preached 'til the town hired a 'real' minister, then he took to riding out and ministering to the ranchers. Think people wondered how he survived without any pay but hell I made good money. 'Sides we'd given Inez the money Ezra'd left us to invest, she always did real good. Josiah used ta say it was Ezra's ghost givin' her advice."

"One night we made love and the next morning he was gone. He'd died in his sleep the way he always wanted. We had almost twenty-five years together, way more than I expected, far less than I wanted. After he died I kept myself busy with my job and family until I retired, then it was looking after my family."

"What happened to the others?"

"Chris and Vin adopted a few orphans down in Mexico. Their ranch is still family owned and it's one of the largest and most prestigious in North America. Nathan and Rain ended up having five kids. One son became a lawyer, one daughter followed Nate into medicine and one of his boys ended up being my successor. Buck and Casey had a set of twins, a boy and girl both as cute as their parents. Inez eventually remarried, someone we'd met years earlier, Raphael. I did tell you about Raphael didn't I?"

After Tony nodded yes, I continued "Anyhow they named their first son Ezra, the next one was Chris, number three was Josiah and the last baby, a little girl they named Johnna. Thank god they didn't name her Maude after Ezra's ma."

"So basically everyone lived happily ever after."

I nodded and started to talk when there was a knock on the door and two little heads poked their heads inside. "Uncle JD, we've come to get you for our birthday party." Right behind them was their father, my favorite nephew Josiah.

"Come in, I'm almost finished, this is Tony Andrews, he's doing a story on the area's history. Tony this is my nephew Josiah Martinez and these two rascals are Inez and Casey. It's their birthday today and they're going to be ten-years-old double digits, that's important you know."

Tony rose to his feet and shook hands with Josiah and myself, "Thanks for telling me your story JD, it gives me hope for the future."

"There's someone out there for you, you just have to have an open heart and accept that it might not be what you think you want. It will however be what you really need! Okay ladies, each of you grab a side and pusshhhh... and we're off."

Epilogue

I was busy working when I heard the phone ring my new boyfriend answered it. "Tony, it's for you!"

I wandered out to the living room and stole a kiss before taking the phone, "This is Tony, what can I do for you?"

Mr. Andrews, my name is Josiah Martinez, I don't know if you remember me, we met through JD Dunne.

"It's Tony and yes I do remember you. How is JD?"

He passed away several days ago. He read your story in the paper and noticed that you were going to write a book. He left some things he thought you might like to have.

"I'm so sorry, he was a special person."

Yes he was, anyhow I thought you might like to know that at the very end he smiled and told us they were all waiting for him; Chris, Vin, Nathan, Rain, Buck, Casey, Ezra, Inez and Josiah. Especially Josiah, he said it was finally time for him to go home to the one he loved, to his family and his heart. It made it much less sad and almost happy for my family and myself, to know that he was so glad. Anyway I've sent those things to you, I just wanted you to know what had happened.

"Thank you very much." I hung up the phone and turned to Michael, "You remember the man that I wrote the story about, the story that was responsible for us meeting?"

"We would have met otherwise, it was fate."

"Well he died, at the end he said he was going home to his lover and his family. I would never have taken a chance on us except for what he told me, he said that sometimes what you think you want isn't really what you want or need at all, but if you keep your heart open you'll find what and who is right for you. I did, I'd never dreamt about dating a jock, but here you are. He also said that family comes in all sizes, shapes and colors and not always by blood, but always by heart."

End