Happy Holidays!! Season's Greetings!! This story is my Christmas present to each of you. I hope you enjoy it!!! {{{{{hugs & kisses}}}}}

September - present year

Ezra wasn't just tired he was exhausted and just generally disillusioned. He had a horrible day at work. Horrible day? Hell he'd had a horrible year. But today he found out today that he was being transferred to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. In Denver no less. Denver! What the hell was in Denver anyway, Ezra asked himself yet again. Shaking his head pushed everything to the back of mind. Right now he wanted nothing more than to drop into bed and bury himself under his down comforter and forget.

Loosening his tie he pulled it off and let it drop to the floor. His jacket, shoes, and pants soon followed as he made his way to his room. After placing his guns within easy reach he then threw his shirt in a corner and without having eaten or even showering crawled into bed trying to shut out the world.

With a sigh he burrowed himself deeper under the covers and realized he was to tired to sleep. Opening his eyes he stared at the darkened ceiling and tried to think of something to help him relax. Draping his arm across his eyes Ezra refused to think of the one person that always at the back of his mind. But try as he might he could not erase the image burned into his memory. Closing his eyes he could still see those expressive, yet shy, blue eyes and that long curly chestnut colored hair and that long lean body and shivered as he remembered the effect his husky Texas drawl had on him; even now. Feeling tears sting his eyes Ezra gave up his futile attempt to keep the memories at bay and gave them feel rein.

December - the year before

Looking out the window of his rented car Ezra swore at the torrential rain that was falling. Seeing the neon sign just up the road he decided that he much rather be inside than stuck in this sorry excuse for a car. The Dodge Neon was the only vehicle available at the terminal and cursed his luck even as he signed his name.

Pulling into the parking lot Ezra cursed the fool driving the battered Chevy truck for taking up two parking spaces. Making a dash for it he threw open the door and shook the excess water off his person before stepping further into the bar. Wiping his face he spotted a secluded corner and headed straight for it hoping it hadn't already been claimed.

Without even looking Ezra removed his jacket and tossed in the booth and signaled the bartender. Sitting down he glanced up and found himself looking into a pair of blue eyes and froze. "I'm so sorry. I... I didn't realize this booth was occupied," he apologized and made to get up only to have his arm caught.

"Stay," came a husky plea, "look I know you don't know me, but I promise you I'm not as crazy as you're probably thinking I am." He removed his hand and circled around his beer. "I let a friend talk me into coming here with him and he's done deserted me. And I hate sitting alone," he explained then leaned in close and whispered, "and that guy at the bar is giving me the creeps. So I figure I have three options - one I can brave the rain and leave, two I can try and convince a perfect stranger into sharing my table with me, or three I'm gonna lay his head open with my beer bottle and wind up in jail causing my boss to kill me." The blued man sat back and with a grin said, "So you see my fate is in your hands."

Ezra barely even noticing the bartender's approach and almost jumped as he appeared at his side. He gave the man his order and looked at the man across from him and said, "It's not very wise to place your fate in my hands."

"I'm willing to take my chances," was the reply.

Mumbling a thank you to the bartender as he sat his drink down. Leaning closer Ezra picked up his drink and reached across the table, which brought him into the light for the first time, and clinked his glass with the beer bottle and smiled, "So be it then." Hearing the stranger gasp had him looking up in question. "Are you all right?"

The blue eyed man just nodded and had to clear his throat before answering. "Yeah," was all he said for a few minutes. "You're not from around here are you?" he suddenly asked.

Smiling at the oblivious Ezra decided to have a little fun. "I'll have you know I was born and raised right here in Denver," he said with an exaggerated accent. Ezra shivered as the man suddenly laughed.

"Ok I asked for that," he laughingly said. "So where are you really from? Alabama?"

"Are trying to insult me?" he asked indigently. "I presently live in Georgia, but I have lived all over the south." Clearing his throat Ezra asked, "Would mind if I move to the center of the booth?"

"N.. No. Go ahead," he said.

"I don't like to sit with my back to the door," Ezra said in way of an explanation.

"Me neither," he agreed with a smile on his face.

They talked about nothing and everything for the next hour. Damn, but he's gorgeous, he thought to himself and Ezra felt himself drowning in those blue eyes. With a start he realized that he'd been watching the man's lips and had not one clue as to what was said. Quickly averting his eyes he looked around the bar and noticed a sprig of mistletoe hanging above the booth. Oh great, that's just what I needed to see.

Ezra suddenly noticed the silence and looked up and saw that his blue eyed man was looking at him with barely concealed desire. Desire? For him?, he silently whispered or so he thought until he heard an emotional, yes whispered back at him. With startled eyes he moved closer and before he could change his mind captured the lips that had been taunting him all night. Ever so gently Ezra eased his tongue into the stranger's mouth and sighed as he got his first taste of heaven mixed with the taste of beer.

The need for air had them pulling apart. "Happy Holidays," Ezra whispered. Then smiled at the question in those blue eyes and looked up, "Mistletoe."

The stranger looked up and suddenly grinned and cupped Ezra's cheek and whispered, "Then how about I return the favor." And just as their lips touched one of their cell phones began to ring causing them jump apart and their faces turn red as they realized where they were. They both reached for their phones and put some much needed space between them. Ezra looked up at the sound of his voice and watched as the desire in his eyes turned into worry with a touch of fear.

"Ok. Ok, I'll be right there," he told someone on the phone then looked over at Ezra. "I gotta go. A friend of my has just been in an accident," he explained the grabbed Ezra's hands and asked. "Can you wait for me? I don't know how long I'll be, but if I'm not back in a couple of hours then you can go. Will you meet me here tomorrow night? Please?"

Ezra found himself nodding even though he knew he was suppose to go on to L.A. in the morning, but by damn he would be here. "Yes. I'll wait for you," he finally said and watched as he got to his feet and reached for his jacket. Ezra took in the long legs and narrowed waist and thanked God for bringing this man into his life. This man? You idiot, his mind screamed, you never even got his name. Ezra opened his mouth only to be interrupted.

"Thank you," he sighed and leaned down and have Ezra a hard kiss before turning a leaving.

Ezra touched his lips and quickly got to his feet and saw the blue eyed man and another man step out into the rain.

Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to stop the tears, but one managed to escape. Ezra had waited until the closing of the bar made him leave. He was even at the door once it open the next evening, but his blue eyed man never showed. Ezra dear, he heard his mother say, you should have known better. And he should have. He had never fallen so hard or so fast before.

Sitting up in bed Ezra wiped his eyes on the covers and walked out of his room and returned with a bottle of brandy and took a couple drinks right from the bottle. Laying back down Ezra determinedly pushed everything from his mind and finally fell into a troubled asleep.

Meanwhile some 3,000 miles away in a some what smaller apartment a blued eyed man was having the same trouble getting to sleep as memories of a green eyed man beckoned to him. Hugging his pillow tight Vin then tossed it across the room in frustration and cursed fate and his own stupidity.

Rubbing his eyes Vin took the curse on fate back because he knew that JD and Casey could have been killed that night and he would not trade their lives for anyone. Not even his green eyed man. Now his own stupidity he triple cursed. Why he hell hadn't he asked the man his name? he groaned. Sitting up he swung his legs over the side of the bed and rested his head in his hands and realized that he knew the answer to that one. The reason he hadn't asked for a name was because it felt like he'd known him all his life.

With a harsh sigh Vin replayed their conversations and felt the effect his silky southern voice had on his body. Remembering the kiss they shared got an immediate reaction from his groin. Ignoring his body Vin got to his feet and walked into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator he stared at nothing for a moment then slammed it shut. Only to open it again and slam it shut all the harder. Sending the things on top scattering. Seeing a glass on the counter he grabbed it and threw it and got no satisfaction at seeing it shatter upon contact because the damn thing was plastic and bounced.

With tears in his eyes Vin dropped to his knees and cried as he remembered the desperate feeling he'd gotten in his gut as he recalled what the bartender told him once he had finally made it to the bar that next night.

Vin rushed through the door and headed straight for the corner table in the back only to swear because someone else was sitting there. Turning he walked up the bartender and asked, "Do you remember me from last night?" To which the man smiled and nodded. "Great. Do you remember the man that was sitting with me at table over there in the corner?" he asked pointing to the table behind him.

"Sure do. He left a big tip when he paid for the drinks," the bartender replied still smiling. "Stayed here until closing too."

"Was he here earlier tonight?" Vin asked. Oh please, oh please let him have showed, he silently pleaded even as he got a sinking feeling in his gut. Actually he didn't know what was worse; having him show and wait or him not showing at all.

"Yeah he came in a little after six and left about thirty minutes ago," he said.

"Thirty minutes!! Damn it all to hell!!" he exclaimed and slammed his hand on the bar. "I'm sorry," Vin apologized as the bartender backed up. "I was hoping to get here before he left. I don't suppose he said anything about where he was going?" Vin could barely hear for the hammering of his heart.

"If I tell you what he said will you promise not to hit my bar again?" the bartender asked and received a nod. "He said something about having a plane to catch."

"A plane?" Vin repeated. "So that's it. It's over even before it got started," he mumbled to himself. Looking up he thanked the man for his trouble and left. Once in his jeep he cried and cursed his luck. Glancing at his watch Vin swore as he realized that his green eyed man had waited for him for over four hours. Vin felt an almost desperate need to find his stranger, but didn't even have clue as to where to start looking. He could go to the airport, but didn't know which one. Or even who to ask for. God, how he must hate me, he thought to himself.

Two nights later he sat by himself at Buck and JD's apartment absently watching as Buck tried to mother JD who had been released from the hospital earlier that day. As had Casey. They were both lucky that they hadn't been hurt any worse than they were. JD's broken ribs and Casey's broken arm was nothing compared with what could have happened. With a heavy sigh he started peeling the label off his beer bottle.

"You all right?" a voice suddenly asked him.

Looking up and into Chris' eyes Vin felt tears well in eyes and turned away hoping he hadn't seen them. Not being able to speak past the lump in his throat he just nodded and kept his head down.

"Are you sure? Cause I gotta tell ya you look like shit," the black clad man was never one to beat around the bush. Careful to keep his voice down Chris leaned closer to the younger man and reassured him, "Look Vin whatever it is you know you can talk to me. So what is it man trouble?"

Vin snorted and tried to act like he didn't know what he was talking about, but failed miserably and wiped the tears away only to have more replace them.

"Talk to me Vin," Chris said. "I don't like seeing you like this. Whatever it is I won't judge you. Ok?"

The sharpshooter shook his head no and laid his head in the crook on his arm wanting nothing more than to just disappear.

Chris hated seeing the normally carefree man so distraught. He hated feeling helpless even more and snapped, "Talk to me dammit!!" Causing the others to look over at them in wonder. But again Vin just shook his head no. "Why the hell not?"

"Because it hurts!!" he bellowed jumping to his feet so fast he knocked his chair over.

"Talking might help ....."

"NO!"

"Why not?" Chris pushed.

"Because it's none of your damned business," Vin told him and snatched up his jacket. "Screw this shit I'm going home."

"Oh no you're not. You've been drinking," Chris reminded him and reached for his jacket only to have it jerked out of his reach. "Vin," he said in warning as he made to close the distance between them.

"Chris," he sneered. "I'm not afraid of you Cowboy."

"Vin tell us who the son of a bitch is that broke your heart and we'll go and kick his ass for you," Buck promised with the others agreeing with him.

"W.. What??"

"It's ok Vin," JD spoke up. "We know we're gay and it doesn't bother us at all," he told him and quickly added at the look he shot Chris, "and Chris didn't tell us. We figured it out on our own."

Vin just shook his head in wonder and sank to the floor. "No one broke my heart. It just wasn't meant to be," he mumbled.

"He tell you that?" Nathan asked.

"No," he said without looking up. "I figured it out on my own."

"Why don't you tell us what happened?" Josiah suggested.

Swallowing back tears Vin wiped his nose and raised his chin. "I met the man of my dreams and then I got the call about JD and had to leave, but asked him to meet at the same place the next night," he had to pause and swallow some more tears.

"What he never showed?" Buck asked.

Vin nodded and replied, "Yeah he showed, but Nettie needed me remember? I tried to get away, but by the time I did and actually got there he was gone."

"But you know where he works, right?" Nathan asked, but Vin shook his head no.

"You called and left a message, right?" Josiah asked.

"Surely you got his number," Buck couldn't believe it. That's one the first thing he asked for.

"Does he lives in town?" JD wondered.

"You don't even know his name do you?" Chris finally asked and watched as he shook his head no.

"Why didn't you go back? Oh yeah, Nettie." Josiah was almost afraid to ask his next question. "How long did he wait for you?"

Vin gave up trying to wipe the tears away and just let them fall. "F..Four hours," he finally managed to get past the lump in his throat.

"Oh Vin," Josiah said and gathered the younger man in his arms and held him as he cried. Four hours. Josiah could just imagine how devastated the man must have felt when Vin didn't show or even call.

"N...Nettie n..n..needed me," he brokenly whispered. "What was I suppose to do? T..tell her that I..I wanted to go meet up with a man. She don't even know that I'm g..gay," Vin stammered. "He had the greenest eyes that I have ever seen and a southern accent. Cause he's from Georgia and not Alabama."

"You know he's from Georgia? Did you check...."

"With the airport. Yeah I did. Called in a few favors, but there were no flights to Georgia that night," Vin replied. "And without a name what was I to do? Besides, i..it's not as though he... he'll want to even see me now. Why would he?"

"Don't worry Vin. If it's meant to be then you'll cross paths again," Josiah assured him.

The ringing of the phone made Vin jump and struggled to open his eyes and groaned as he saw that he was still on the kitchen floor. Getting wearily to his feet he let his machine get it and headed toward the bathroom to take a shower.

Chris swore when he saw Vin's red eyes and knew he had a rough night. "You dreaming about him again," it was a statement and not a question.

Vin didn't bother to answer just nodded his head. "I thought I had put it all behind me, but something has be thinking about him," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Don't worry it'll get better," Chris told him.

Again Vin just nodded as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Yeah, it'll get better that's what they kept telling him, but it hadn't happened yet. Sitting at his desk he heard Josiah's words echo in his head, you'll cross paths again. Yeah well that ain't happened either. Taking a sip of his coffee Vin looked up at Chris and asked, "So how was Georgia?"

"Great. I found us an undercover agent," he said with a smile. "He starts at the beginning of the month. I'm going to give each a folder on him once the others get here."

An hour later the men sat around the conference table as Chris passed out folders containing information on their new team member.

Nathan was the first one to speak up, just like Chris thought he would. "Chris have seen how many times he's been written up?"

Chris didn't say a thing he decided to wait and answer all the questions at once instead through out the meeting.

Josiah grinned and slapped his friend on the back and said, "You should know that you can't believe everything you read." Then whistled, "The man's gone to Harvard Nathan he can't be all bad."

"You go to Harvard Josiah?" JD asked with a grin.

"I was accepted, but my father didn't approve of the school so I wasn't allowed to go," the large man said nonchalantly.

"Hell Chris the man's a maverick and is gonna end up getting someone killed," Buck voiced his concern.

"When's he start?" JD wanted to know.

"First of all, he hasn't been written up anymore than the rest of us. And as for him being a maverick I could point out one or two already on this team," Chris replied. "I noticed none of you mentioned the fact that he's been investigated for being on the take. Why?"

"Because we know that you would never hire a dirty cop Chris," Buck explained.

"Vin? What do you think?" Chris had noticed the man hadn't said a word since sitting down.

Vin closed his eyes and fought to get himself back under control for there staring at him from inside that folder was his greened eyed man. "When did you say he was gonna start?"

"First of the month," Chris replied and outlined some plans he had.

Vin tuned out the others and darted his eyes from the man's name to his picture. Ezra Standish, he silently repeated in his head. Granted the picture was black and white, but he knew with out a doubt that those eyes would be green. Oh God, maybe I should tell Chris. The man..... Ezra may not want to stay once he saw him. But this is your second chance. Your paths are about to cross again, just like Josiah said, he silently argued with himself. You can not give up now. Not when you're this close.

The first of the month? That's just a week away and nervously jumped to his feet. Seeing the others looking at him Vin said the first thing that came to his mind, "I have to go the restroom." Then all but ran from the room.

Buck shook his head and said, "It's been almost a year and that boy's still hung up on a man he met only once. I don't get it."

"You don't have to Buck," Chris pointed out.

"He must have been one hell of a man to have captured Vin's heart so completely," Josiah quietly told them.

The following week was the longest and shortest of Vin's life. On one hand he was ready to get it over with. On the other he was ready to hand in a request for a transfer. But now it was here; the day he'd been waiting for. Vin had gotten to work even earlier than usual and had been real careful shaving. He was wearing the dark blue western styled shirt that he was always complemented on and had bought a new pair of jeans just for the occasion. Hell, he was even wearing his new boots that Chris had given him last year for Christmas.

Vin had been watching the clock since seven and it was now close to nine and Ezra had yet to show. He wasn't even listening to the conversation going on around him. All his attention was focused on the door. So he didn't hear Buck talking to him.

"Come on Vin what do ya say?" Buck asked again for the tenth time.

"What?" he asked as Buck finally managed to capture his attention.

"I said I heard a guy down in accounting asking about you and I was wondering if you'd like to meet him?"

Walking over to Buck's desk and open one of his drawer and removed the mirror and as he check his hair, but pretended to see if something was in his eye and repeated, "Meet him? Why would I want to meet him?"

"I was thinking that maybe you two could go out sometime," Buck replied with a knowing grin.

"No," Vin said leaving very little doubt that he was serious.

"Why not? He's ok looking, for a man," the ladies' man pushed. "Don't tell me you're still pinning for your green eyed mystery man? Dammit Vin it's been almost a year and the chances of you seeing him again are pretty slim."

"I appreciate what you're trying to do Buck, but this is a chance I'm willing to take," he said looking him right in the eye. Then with a smile rarely seen anymore Vin continued, "Besides I think Josiah is right and our paths will cross again."

Hearing the elevator had everyone looking up and Vin felt the blood drain from his face only to flood it with color a second later. There not ten feet from him was his green eyed man. Damn he looks even better than I remembered, he thought to himself and let his hungry eyes feast. Slipping behind Josiah Vin gave himself a moment to compose himself.

"Ezra Standish," Chris said holding out his hand. "You're late."

"Mr Larabee," Ezra replied extending his own hand. "And I know I'm late. I wish I could tell you it won't occur again, but I can't. Because I know it will. And often."

Hearing that sexy voice shattered what composure Vin had managed to gather.

"And why is that?" Chris asked.

"Simply put, I'm not a morning person," Ezra stated. "I believe it has something to do with all the nights I've had to work in the past. Or it could be because I like to sleep late," he went on to say with a grin that showed a gold tooth that immediately caught JD's eye.

"Did ya see that Buck? He has a gold tooth," JD said in a stage whisper and then blushed at being heard. "Sorry. It took me by surprise."

"It's ok Mr..."

"Dunn. JD Dunn," he said holding out his hand.

"Mr. Dunn you'll find that I'm full of surprise," Ezra said as he shook his hand. Then turned and shook with the others as Chris introduced them.

"And this is our sharpshooter Vin Tanner," Chris said and motioned for him to step forward.

Ezra felt his breath lodge in his throat as he stared in wonder at the magnificent sight before him. Vin Tanner. It was a good strong name and suited the man to a tee. Ezra thanked God he finally he had a name to go with the face of his dreams.

Swallowing hard he extended his hand and began to locked everything away as an inner voice intruded. This is the man that left you waiting for over four hours in bar on a cold and wet night almost a year ago. Vin Tanner is the man that broke your heart. "Mr. Tanner."

Vin held his breath as he watched Ezra's eyes. At first there was a teasing light in them that had given him hope that maybe things would work out, but as he watched the light faded along with his easy smile. Both just disappeared as had the warmth and easy manner of his voice. His voice was clipped and made Vin shiver. Reaching out he grabbed the offered hand in both of his and had to fight to keep from closing his eyes at the jolt of emotion he felt at the contact. "Ezra," he said just keeping it from coming out as a whisper.

Ezra's heart was hammering and he felt a crack in one of his shields and hastenly tried to extricate himself from the warmth radiating up his arm from those two hands. Narrowing his eyes he said, "Excuse me, Mr. Tanner, but I need my hand back."

"I'm sorry," he stated and placed his hands in his pocket to hide their shaking. I'm so sorry Ezra Standish, he continued in his head, about so many things.

Chris' eyes narrowed as he took in the scene between the two men. At first he was delighted that someone had finally managed to get a reaction from Vin, but it was Ezra's reaction that had him worried. The undercover man either simply didn't like Vin or he had somehow figured Vin was gay and had problem with that. Well he'd give them time to work it out between them before he saying anything himself.

"Well now that the introductions are over there are some papers I need to you fill out," Chris told Ezra and motioned him toward his office.

Vin waited until Chris' door closed before walking over to his desk and flopping down in his chair and laying his head down on his desk.

Buck stood looking from the closed door to Vin for a couple of seconds before walking over to stand by him and say, "Is that the kind of guy you're attracted to? Cause I have to tell you that he would not have been my first choice. I mean what on earth could the two of you have in common?"

Vin's head snapped up and he got slowly to his feet and stepped real close to the ladies man and said in a quiet voice, "Don't go there Buck. I beg you please. Don't."

"Ok Vin," Buck agreed and gave him a brief hug, "ok."

Ezra stepped out of Chris' office and froze as he saw him hugging another man. He felt like slamming the door shut and running from the room, but instead he quietly closed it and walked over to the only empty desk. Unfortunately he had to walk pass the two men embracing to do it. "Ackhm" he sounded from behind Buck, "excuse me."

Buck stumbled back as Vin suddenly pushed him away.

"All right girls let's get some work done shall we," Chris said from his open office door. "Ezra I need those papers as soon as you're done with them."

Ezra nodded and focused ninety-five percent of his attention on the papers the other five he spent trying to keep thoughts of a certain blue eyed man from taking over.

Vin watched out of the corner of his eye as Ezra walked out of the office carrying a stack of folder as and headed for the conference room. With a sigh he hung his head. Ezra had been here for over a week and Vin hadn't been able to corner him yet. The undercover man was either running all over town getting to know the lay of the land and making himself known to the locals; as he called his future snitches. Or he was totally avoiding him.

Absently grabbing some folders off his own desk he made his way to the conference room. Standing just outside the door Vin watched as Ezra rubbed his temples and wanted nothing more than to kiss his apparent headache away. He wanted to come up behind him and rub the tension from his shoulders and run his hands through his silky hair, but most of all Vin wanted to hold him. To feel Ezra's heart beat in time with his own. Pushing those thought aside, for now, he cleared his throat and stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

Ezra looked up and quickly away as Vin walked in and tensed as he closed the door. He knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. Running a weary hand over his face he looked at Vin and waited.

"We need to talk Ezra," Vin stated the oblivious as he sat down.

Ezra just nodded and said, "Yes I know."

Now that the time was finally here Vin didn't know where to start. Taking a deep breath Vin was once again taken in by Ezra's green eyes and deeply regretted the guards they now held. "I am so sorry Ezra. I didn't mean to hurt you," he told him. "Do you remember the phone call I got?" Vin paused and waited for a response from Ezra before continuing. At his nod Vin told him everything. About JD and Casey being in an accident and how he hadn't been able to get away from Nettie, who was like a second mother to him. "When I finally did make it to the bar you had already gone. The bartender said I'd missed by thirty minutes," he whispered.

"Thirty minutes?" the southerner repeated. Thirty damned minutes. How ironic was that. Just his luck. Just his life.

"Yeah ain't it a bitch," Vin replied. "Ezra? I.... I know I don't deserve any thing from you, but would you consider .... maybe .... letting us start over?"

Ezra got to his feet and took a couple of steps away. Shaking his head he said, "I don't know Vin. I.... I'm not the same man I was then. Last December I was ready for.... something more, but.... now I..."

Vin got to his feet and slowly closed the distance between them and tentatively reached for Ezra's hand. "Tell ya what, hows about we just try being friends, for now, and just take it from there. Just think about it. Take h..however much time you need," he said as he moved close enough to feel the heat coming from the Southerner's body. "Just don't shut me out," Vin pleaded and ran a finger down Ezra's cheek.

Grabbing that finger Ezra pushed it and Vin a little away and sat back at the table. "I'll think about, but I'll make you no promises," he responded. Friends? Could he really just be friends with the man? Ezra honestly didn't know.

"I don't want any promises. Thinking is fine with me," Vin said as he sat back down.

"So what are you working on?" Ezra asked hoping to break the tension.

"Well now, let me see," he was as he open each of the folders he grabbed. "I don't rightly know Ez," Vin told him with a grin. "This is folder belongs to JD and this one's Josiah's. And I don't even know what the hell this one is."

"Are you always like this?"

"Yeah pretty much."

Ezra smiled and reached across the table and placed his hand over Vin's and said, "Yes. Let's be friends and see where this goes."

Once Ezra got home that evening he plopped down on his couch and smiled because he knew there had to be a real why. He just knew it. Vin hadn't struck him as the kind of man that didn't keep his word. But did he want to risk his heart again? Yes! It screamed. Risk it. What have you got to loose? You've known heartache without him. Now it's time to know love. L o v e?? I love him, he suddenly realized with a jolt that sent him to his feet.

Good Lord, he muttered under his breath, I can't love him. Can I? Yes. Yes you can, Ezra argued silently with himself. You just can't tell him.

So that's just what they did. Ezra no longer avoided Vin and even agreed to go with him and the others to The Saloon one night after work and actually had a pretty good time. Most of the time they were with the others, but Vin had managed to work it so that they spend some time alone as well. They went to the movies and had even shared an evening meal together. And the more Ezra got to know Vin the more he wanted to be more than just his friend.

"So what y'all think?" Buck asked with a grin.

"About what?" Ezra inquired without even looking up until he heard what Vin said, then his head snapped up.

"Mistletoe?" Vin asked as he looked at the doorway and couldn't help, but shoot Ezra a heated glance. "ain't a little early for that?" he asked after clearing his throat and tearing his eyes away from Ezra's.

"It's never to early for that," Buck said with a wiggle of his eye brows.

"Are you sure that's mistletoe Buck? It don't look like it to me," JD replied from his desk.

"Hell yes, I'm sure. And what the hell do you know JD? You probably ain't never even seen real mistletoe before," Buck fussed.

"What's those weeds doing up there?" Nathan asked as he walked in and saw Buck puff up as if insulted.

"That's not weeds, Brother Nate, that's mistletoe," Josiah said as he walked in behind him.

"Thank you Josiah," Buck grinned. "Now all we need is for someone to try it out," he went on to say and shot a knowing look over at Vin.

"Don't look at me," Vin laughed, "I ain't gonna kiss you."

Ezra released a pent up breath at Vin's response. He didn't want his Texan kissing anyone under the mistletoe except him.

"Good cause I don't wanna kiss you either," the ladies' man announced. "I was thinking you might want to kiss someone else...."

"Buck," Vin said in warning as he got to his feet.

"Ok. Ok," Buck agreed.

"So who you wanna kiss Vin?" Nathan asked.

"Ezra!" JD suddenly shouted causing at least two faces to pale, one to grin, and two more to stare at him in surprise.

"W..Why me?" Ezra croaked out.

"Because he's all ready kissed each of us," JD told the suddenly very nervous undercover man. Seeing the looks the others sent him JD quickly explain, "On the cheek."

"What do ya say Ez? Will ya let me kiss you on the cheek?" Vin couldn't believe he'd just said that. It hadn't been what he meant to say at all, but what the hell if it got him another taste of Ezra then so be it.

Taking a deep breathe Ezra finally lifted his head allowing guarded green eyes to meet guarded blue eyes and opened his mouth only to snap it shut at seeing Chris.

The first thing Chris noticed as he neared their office area was his men standing around. The second was some green stuff hanging in their doorway. As he got closer he could tell it was mistletoe. "Buck what the hell is that mistletoe doing up there?"

"I'm just trying to get everyone in the Christmas spirit," Buck explained.

"Buck it's Halloween!' Chris snapped.

"Exactly. Do you know how many treats you can find under the mistletoe," Buck said with a laugh and a wiggle of his eye brows.

Chris grinned at shook his head. Sometimes there was just talking to Buck. Glancing at the others he saw the way Vin and Ezra were not looking at each other. "What the hell's going with you two?"

"Vin wants to kiss Ezra," JD told him with a grin.

"Oh really?" Chris asked and then nodded. He knew Vin was attracted to the southerner he just didn't think Vin wanted the others to know it yet.

Ezra was known for being able to control his emotions, but now under the amusing and sympathetic looks that famous control had fled. Shaking his head he mumbling a series of no's under his breath.

"It's ok Ezra you don't have to," Vin started to say more, but was interrupted.

JD wasn't bound by the same insecurities that the others were and walked up to the southerner and grabbed his arm. "Ah come on Ezra. It's just a little kiss on the cheek and doesn't mean a thing," JD reassured him and stretched up and kissed him on the cheek. "See it's not so bad."

"Don't worry Ezra it won't go beyond this office. Will it?" Vin turned and waited until each of them agreed that it would not. Especially Buck.

Josiah saw the indecision on Ezra's face and quickly added, "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with us." Meeting his eyes he continued, "Kiss the man Ezra." While you have the chance, he silently said as he thought he saw desire flare in those green eyes.

Ezra shook his head and threw his hands in the air and sighed, "Fine. Come on let's just bite the bullet and get this over with."

Vin straightened his shoulders and tensed at those words. He didn't want Ezra any where near a bullet and mutely following him over to the mistletoe.

Taking Vin's hand Ezra pushed the door closed and before he lost his nerve reached up and touched his lips to Vin's cheek. "There," he said as he released Vin's hand and took a few steps back.

"Now that the theatrics are over can we manage to get some work done?" Chris asked. Turning he saw that Vin was still standing where Ezra left him he lightly punched him on the arm. "Vin open the door and get back to work."

Vin just resisted the urge to touch his still tingling cheek and allowed Chris' voice to distract him. So with a nod he reached behind him and pulled open the door. With mixed emotions he sat down at his desk.

Later that day as Ezra went to step out of the conference room he saw Vin headed down the hall and waited until he was just past the door and grabbed him and thrust him up against the now closed door. "V i n," he breathed as he pressed their bodies together. Raining kisses all over Vin's face Ezra carefully avoided his lips. "I've made a decision Vin," he said as he nibbled on his blued eyed man's ear.

Vin sighed at the sensations wrecking havoc on his body and worked his hands under Ezra's suit jacket and mumbled, "About what?"

Pulling a little away he looked into those blue eyes and said, "I don't want to be just your friend anymore. I want to be your lover too." Then stretched up and traced the edge of Vin's lips with his tongue before slipping it all the way in.

With a groan Vin crushed Ezra to him and feasted on his lips. The need for air was the only thing that separated them. Vin melted against the door as Ezra cupped him in his hand and gave him a gentle squeeze. He would have fallen if Ezra's body hadn't been pressing him into the door.

Pressing a quick hard kiss to the side of Ezra's neck Vin drew on all his inner strength and pushed him a little away. "Ezra," he said licking his lips. "I think we need to back up a little bit before things get out of hand." Vin wanted nothing more than to loose himself in Ezra, but he was afraid. Terrified actually.

Taking a deep breath Vin pressed his forehead against Ezra's for just moment then stepped away from him. "Ezra you know I care about you a hell of a lot. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I want nothing more than to be your lover as well."

Ezra didn't like the way this conversation was going. "But."

Vin sighed and continued, "But I have to be honest with you. These feelings you've awakened in me have also brought back to life some old ghosts and some insecurities that I thought I had buried a long time ago."

Closing the distance between them Ezra gathered Vin in his arms and said, "Is that all? Vin I have ghosts and insecurities of my own, but I'm not about to let them keep me from you." Tightening his hold for just a moment Ezra pulled back and gently kissed Vin's sweet lips and offered a solution. "I'll give you whatever it is you need. Be it time or space. I'll wait however long I have to."

"Really? You'd wait for me?" Vin asked in disbelief.

"Forever," Ezra whispered. "And though it will be hard, I won't even touch you," he said and stepped back and headed for the door. "The next move will be yours Vin."

Not touch me? Vin repeated in his head as he watched Ezra leave the room. I never anything about not touching, he mumbled under his breath.

Time and space was exactly what Ezra gave Vin in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. Not once had Ezra touched him in any way that was not completely casual. They'd all been invited to Nettie's house for the holiday and Vin stood at the window wondering if Ezra was gonna actually show.

"Not here yet is he?" Josiah asked coming up behind Vin.

"No," Vin replied. "You don't think something's happened do ya Josiah? I mean he's ok. He's just running late is all. Right?"

"I hope so, Brother Vin, I hope so," the large ex-preacher agreed. "I've spent a lot of time chipping away at those walls of his and am finally starting to see some results."

Vin and the others had all noticed that Josiah had taken an immediate parental interest in Ezra. He had even begun to call him son on occasion.

"Ezra's here!" they heard JD's voice boom across the living room and they both turned and looked out the window and sure enough there was their green eyed boy walking up to the door.

"Damn Ezra what happened to you?" JD asked as soon as he opened the door.

Josiah pushed past Vin and JD and took Ezra's arm. "Ezra you ok? Are you hurt? What happened?" he peppered the questioned at the younger man. And when he didn't answer right away snapped, "Dammit son, answer me." Ezra had what looked like the beginning's of a black eye and the knees of his pants were wet and dirty.

Ezra pulled him arm free and stepped the rest of the way into the house and handed Mrs. Wells a small bouquet of flowers. "Thank you for inviting me Mrs. Wells I appreciate it."

"You're welcome Mr. Standish. I'm glad you could come," Nettie said with a small smile.

"Ezra," was all Chris said, but it was enough.

"I had a blow out," Ezra explained, "and my hands slipped off the damn wrench thing and I hit myself in the eye."

"Why didn't you call? We'd have come and got you," Buck fussed.

"Why would I? I am perfectly capable of changing a flat tire, gentlemen," Ezra told them. "I am not as inept as you like to think I am."

"We don't think you're inept Ezra," Vin spoke up for the first time. "We were just worried is all."

"I'm sorry I worried you, but I'm fine really," he assured them.

"Best let me take a look at that eye anyway," Nathan said and pushed him toward the bathroom so that everyone else would not crowd them.

When Ezra returned Vin followed his every move with his eyes and made sure he sat by him at dinner. After dinner they all seven of them stepped outside and Vin finally knew of a way to get a minute alone with Ezra. Grabbing JD's arm they walked out into the yard and returned with their hands behind their backs. Then without warning started pelting snow balls at the others standing on the porch.

Buck and Nathan scattered. Josiah laughed and went back inside. While Chris just stood there daring anyone of them to actually hit him. And Ezra missed the first attack because he'd been standing behind Josiah. With a frown Ezra brushed some debris off his jacket when he was suddenly pelted with snow. Looking up he raised one eye brow at the culprit and said, "Mr. Tanner just what do you think you're doing?" The only response he got was another snow ball to the shoulder. "Mr. Tanner do you mind?" Ezra stumbled back a step as another frozen projectile struck him almost square in the chest. Brushing the snow off he continued, "Mr. Tanner I feel I must warn that if you chose to continue with this juvenile behavior...." Ezra looked up just in time to see a snow ball headed his way and managed to avoid a direct hit, but did receive a shower of snow as it hit the porch's support beam beside. "Of course, you know this means war," he warned and stepped into the shadows and knelt down behind Buck's truck.

"Good. I wouldn't have it any other way," Vin replied with a laugh and darted behind a tree after lobbing a snow ball at Chris as he darted back inside.

Careful to stay behind the truck Ezra grinned as a snow ball hit the fender. "It's nice to know this old thing's good for something," he teased then jumped back as two snow balls were thrown at him, "Hey! if you keep hitting it like that it's liable to fall apart."

The grin on Vin's face turned into laughter as Ezra hit him in the chest. Seeing a larger tree almost hidden in the shadows Vin broke cover and made a run for it. He had just reached it when he was struck in the shoulder causing him to lose his balance and he slipped and landed with a thud on his back.

Ezra watched in horror Vin hit the ground and took off for him. Kneeling beside him Ezra removed his gloves and touched his shoulder, "Vin? Are you all right? Do you need me to get Nathan?" Crying out in surprise Ezra found himself lying in the snow with Vin leaning over him holding a hand full of snow.

"Gotcha now!" Vin teased and leaned in closer. God he loved Ezra like this. His green eyes were full of laughter and he was totally and completely relaxed and sexy as hell.

Ezra grabbed Vin by the waist and suddenly rolled over and grabbed both of Vin's wrists and held them in one hand and reached for some snow on his own. Looking down Ezra saw the laughter in those blue eyes, the flushed cheeks, red nose and let the snow fall from his hand and ran a finger down Vin's cheek and across his parted lips and shuddered as he felt Vin's warm breath caress his finger.

Releasing Vin's hands Ezra ran his hand down Vin's outstretched arms and slowly lowered his head and gently touched his lips to Vin's. Raising his head slightly he searched Vin's eyes for any hint that he wasn't ready for this, seeing none he shifted until he was lying completely on Vin and swallowed the moan that escaped his lips. Cupping his head Ezra held him still and feasted on those lips like he was starving.

Vin moaned and ran his hands through Ezra's hair and worked them under his jacket and began pulling at his shirt and grinned as Ezra jumped when his cold hands touched the heated skin of his back. The need for oxygen had Vin sucking in a ragged breath and he licked his lips wanted to savor all that was Ezra and he shivered as he felt him nibble on his neck. The usually quiet Texan growled as Ezra sucked on his pulse point and knew he had just been branded.

Ezra inhaled Vin's scent and closed his eyes and prayed for strength. "As much as I don't want to, we need to stop. Someone might see us," he whispered and got to his feet and then helped Vin to his. Still holding Vin's hand Ezra suddenly twirled him around and dipped him back and planted a quick kiss on his lips before setting him back on his feet. Then with a wink released him and started walking back toward the others. Leaving Vin to stare after him in wonder.

A little later a shivering Vin walked back inside and made a bee line for Ezra who sat on the couch with a blanket draped across his chest and legs. Lifting the end of the blanket he sat down next to Ezra and scooted closer to make from for Josiah. Vin just did resist the urge to rest his head on Ezra's shoulder, but showed no such hesitation in grabbing his hand under the blanket and placing it into his lap. After everyone had settled they watch a movie JD had rented.

Ezra was in heaven and tried not to think about where his hand was. Now if only he could get rid of everyone else. He'd be able to finish what they'd started out in the show. Once the movie went off two hours later Ezra reluctantly got to his feet and began to bid everyone goodnight.

"Hey Ez would ya mind giving me a ride?" Vin asked as he to got to his feet.

"No. I don't mind at all," Ezra replied and felt his pulse quicken at the images that one question conjured up.

"Now Vin I thought you were gonna stay awhile longer?" Nettie inquired as she handed Ezra a plate of food to take home with him.

"Not this time Nettie. I got something else I gotta take care of," Vin told her and felt his gut tighten at the desire that flared in Ezra's eyes. The contact was broken as Nettie hand him a small box piled with food. "Nettie! I can't eat all this food!" he fussed.

"You can and you will," she said and slapped him on the shoulder.

After a few more minutes of goodbyes Ezra and Vin were finally on their way. They made quick time in spite of the icy conditions and were soon in front of Vin's apartment building.

Vin and Ezra both just stared at the building before turning to look at each other. Clearing his throat Vin finally asked, "Would you like to come in for some coffee or something?"

Ezra grinned showing off his gold tooth and replied, "Or something."

Stepping into the apartment Ezra handed Vin the box of food which he took into the kitchen. With a sigh he removed his coat and walked over to the window and looked out into the night.

Vin stepped up behind Ezra and drew him into his arms. Resting his chin on Ezra's shoulder Vin just held him content in the fact that he could do so without the threat of being seen.

Taking a deep breath Ezra turned Vin's arms and rested his head on his shoulder and just hugged him tight. Unable to resist any longer he pressed his lips to the side of Vin's neck.

Vin's lips parted in anticipation as he felt Ezra nibble his way up his neck, then across his jaw to his ear. Moaning deep in his throat Vin shuddered as his ear lope was drawn into Ezra's hot mouth and released all to quickly. But he had no time to regret the loss as Ezra blazed a trial up his face and placed a tender kiss on each of his closed eyes and then continued down the other side of his face. Vin's head lulled to the side to give Ezra better access to his other ear and then he nibbled his way across his jaw to Vin's chin. Ezra then kissed the spot between his eyes and the tip of his nose before pausing at Vin eagerly awaiting mouth.

Instead of kissing him though Ezra waited for those oh-so blue eyes to open, which didn't take long. He watched as the passion darkened eyes focused on him and without breaking contact Ezra traced along the edge of Vin's lips with the tip of his tongue before dipping just the tip in. Ezra saw Vin's blue eyes darken further as their tongues met.

The sound of a car back firing made them jump and Ezra stepped back causing Vin groaned at the loss. And when he went to pull Ezra back into his arm where he belonged Ezra backed away. "Ezra? What's wrong?" he asked in breathy whisper.

"Nothing," he replied and ran both hands through his hair and several deep breaths.

"Then come here," he beckoned with his fingers.

"Oh no. No. No. I... We agreed to take things slow....."

"We can go as slow as you want," Vin said with a knowing look and took a step closer and pulled an unresisting Ezra back in his arms. His patience at an end Vin cupped Ezra's face in his hands and as his eyes drifted shut and he drove his tongue deep into heaven. Greedy for more his hands reached down and worked their way up under Ezra's shirt as he began to ease them backwards toward his room. Stumbling through the door and over to the bed Vin fell back and pulled Ezra down on top of him. Cupping Ezra's ass Vin pressed their erections together and grinned as he heard and felt Ezra growl in response.

As their tongues fought for dominance their bodies fought for release. Only it wasn't to happen as Ezra pulled back and took several deep breaths and before straddling Vin's lap and began undoing his shirt. Pushing it off his shoulders he gave a little tug and pulled it from underneath him and tossed it to the floor behind him. Grabbing the ends of his undershirt Ezra whipped it off him and threw it to the side. Then surveyed the treasure he'd just uncovered and lightly ran his hands up Vin's chest. Looking down at this beautiful man Ezra felt tears burn his eyes and he leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss and whispered, "I love you Vin." And immediately regretted it because Vin stiffened under him.

Vin opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"Did you hear what I said? I love you," he repeated with his heart hammering.

Vin could only nod.

Ezra felt his heart breaking at Vin's silence and began to shut himself off from him. "It's ok Vin I don't expect anything from you. I just wanted to tell you how I felt," he whispered, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed." Unaware of the tears streaming down his face Ezra leaned down and gave Vin a chaste kiss before climbing off him and backing out of the room.

The Texan closed his mouth and tasted the salt of tears and with a start realized that they were Ezra's. But it was the sound of someone fumbling with the lock that had him springing up out of bed and running from the room. "Ezra wait!" Vin begged as he came to a stop near the couch. "I.... I l... l...," he tried to say it, but just couldn't.

Ezra paused and turned to face him and said, "I'm sorry Mr. Tanner, but I have to go. I'll... I'll see you in a couple of weeks."

Vin winced at the Mr. Tanner and rushed to the door only to have it close on him. "EZRA!!!" he shouted with tears running down his face he fell to his knees. Jumping to his feet he threw open the door and ran outside unconcerned that he wasn't wearing a shirt. With chattering teeth Vin reached the outer door in time to see Ezra leaving. Pressing his forehead against the window he whispered, "I love you to Ezra. Please be careful." Running back into his bedroom he slapped on the light and reached for his shirt only to let slip through his fingers. Turning the light off again Vin stumbled to the bed and fell across it and cursed himself for being such a fool. Twice now Ezra had been willing to give him his heart and twice now he had hurt him.

He just didn't expect to hear those words so soon. Vin hadn't heard those three words much since his mother died and hearing them from Ezra had scared him. But not as much as having Ezra leave.

Pushing back Vin slid to his knees and knelt beside the bed and cupped his hands together and prayed. "Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost," he whispered as he made the sign of the cross. "Lord I know I don't do this near enough, but I try to live a good life and keep you in my heart," he paused and wiped the tears away. "Lord I kn..now I have no right to asked, b..but please watch over him and keep him safe. Please let him come home in one piece. I'm not asking for me, but for Ezra. He's a good man Lord and I n..need him," Vin prayed and laid his head on the bed and cried until he had no tears left.

Ezra drove and drove unsure where to go. He didn't want to go home. Then to his surprise he found himself at the one person he knew would help him; even if it was just to offer him a warm bed. Getting out of his car the walked up to the door and on the fifth try was able to ring the bell. Just as he was about to turn and run the door opened and without a word he was welcomed in.

"Are you all right Ezra?" Josiah asked as he closed the door.

"Yeah," he replied and walked into the living room and flopped down in one of the recliners.

Josiah followed him and stretched out on the couch and said, "If you want to talk I'll listen. If you don't then you can sit there and watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' with me."

Ezra snorted and sat up. "Well if you're gonna threaten me," he quipped. Ok, now, how do I say this, he thought to himself. He wasn't much in the mood for subtlety. "Josiah I can trust you right?"

"Yes," he replied without hesitation.

Getting to his feet Ezra walked over to the window and then across the room. "What I'm about to tell you might shock you and I hope it doesn't affect .... us."

"Talk to me Ezra. Whatever it is I won't judge you; it's not my place," Josiah reassured him.

Nodding his head he sat back down and blurted, "I'm in love with Vin."

Josiah grinned and said, "Is that all you wanted to tell me?" Seeing the shock in Ezra's eyes was priceless. "Ezra I kinda suspected you had feeling for Vin for awhile now."

"Try almost a year," he muttered. Ezra saw Josiah's eyes widen. "Ah ha! That got your attention didn't it. I know you're thinking that I've only been here just over a month. Well I met Vin while I was here on business almost a year ago. In fact, it will be a year in December."

Josiah stared at Ezra in shock. "You're his green eyed man!" he finally managed to get out.

"He told you about that?"

"Yeah. A couple of days after he'd a few beers and told us that he met his dream guy, but hadn't thought to ask for a name," he explained. "He was pretty torn up that he'd missed you that night."

"Yeah he wasn't the only one," Ezra whispered.

"Do you want some advise on how to tell him?"

"No I all ready did that."

"What did Vin say?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Ezra sighed and rubbed his eyes. "He tried to say something, but couldn't," he shrugged.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know maybe I should just forget about him and just...."

"Just what? What?" Josiah pushed and got to his feet and grabbed his arm and spun him around to face him. "Just what Ezra? Leave? Is that what you really want to do?" Please say no, he silently begged, I don't want to lose the only son I'm ever gonna have.

"No Josiah I don't want to leave," Ezra stated.

"Good." Then before Ezra could react Josiah grabbed him and gave him a big hug.

Ezra allowed the hug for all of five seconds before he started pushing the big man away. "Dammit Josiah must you do that!!" He tried to sound fierce, but couldn't keep the grin off his face.

"Yes," he said with a grin of his own. It had taken him a long time to break through to Ezra and now that he had his trust he wasn't about to let go of any of it.

"What do I do Josiah? I told myself I wasn't going to make the same mistakes that I have in the past. I promised myself that I would be honest about my feelings and not allow my fears to control me," Ezra explained.

"Do you want to give up on him?"

"No. I love him. I'd fight the world for him, but I can't fight his fears. That's a battle he'll have to face on his on." Ezra said.

"Then I suggest you give yourselves some time and when you get back from you're undercover assignment talk to him again," Josiah told him. "You know they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"I hope what they say is true," Ezra responded. "Can... can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course you can. You're always welcome in my home Ezra," he told him. "Are afraid Vin might be at your place waiting on you?"

"No, I'm more afraid that he won't."

The next morning Ezra gave Josiah the key to his apartment and asked him to check his mail for him. And he was about to leave Josiah told him to be careful.

Ezra paused in the door and said, "Don't worry Josiah. If anything happened to me you'll be the first one to know."

"Me? Why?"

"Because I've named you as my incase-of-an-emergency-contact-person," Ezra said with a grin at his shock then with a wink left.

When Monday morning rolled around Vin arrived at the office looking haggard and worn out. He needed a shave and his eyes were red with circles around them. No one asked any questions and Vin didn't volunteer any answers. Walking into Chris' office Vin asked, "Have you talk to Ezra?"

"Yeah he called a few minutes ago," Chris told him with a frown and winced as he heard Vin swear under his breath.

"How did he sound? I mean he's ok, right?"

"Sounded fine to me, but who knows with Ezra," Chris said hoping to get a smile out of Vin, but he gave no indication that he'd even heard him. "He said that he'd call in again in a couple days after he'd made contact and had something to report."

Feeling dejected and frustrated Vin just nodded and left and sat down at his desk and buried his head in the crook of his arm.

The other five watched Vin mope around for the next two weeks until one Thursday morning Josiah could stand it no more and approached him and asked, "Hey Vin can I get you to do me a favor?"

Without looking up Vin replied, "Sure Josiah. What cha need?"

"Well I'm been keeping an eye on Ezra's place for him. Mostly I'm just checking the mail, but anyway I'm not going to be able to do it this weekday and I was wondering if you'd mind doing it for me," Josiah explained.

Vin sat up and turned eager eyes on Josiah and repeated, "You want me to go to Ezra's place?"

The older man just nodded not being able to trust his voice at the life that had suddenly flashed in those blue eyes and held Ezra's keys out for him.

Reaching for the keys Vin clutched them in his hand and had to look away.

Chris witnessed the scene from his door way and decided he'd had enough. He had tried to give Vin time to deal with whatever was bothering him, but he didn't seem so inclined to do anything. "Vin in my office now," he called out.

Vin walked over to one of the windows and waited for Chris to start talking.

"Ok Vin what's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it," was all Vin was going to say.

"Well you need to. Look at you Vin," Chris implored. "You look like shit and quite frankly I'm starting to worry about you. We all are."

"I don't want you to worry about me Chris, but what's happening is my own fault. My own problem and I'll deal with it in my own way," Vin quietly told him.

"You call this dealing with it?" the man in black accused. "Dammit Vin we're your friends and we'll help you if you'll let us!"

"I don't want your help," Vin sneered and walked over and threw open the door and stalked from the office.

"What about Ezra?" Chris quietly asked.

That stopped Vin in his tracks. Slowly he turned around and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"It's ok Vin. You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to," Josiah assured him.

Vin saw the understanding in Josiah's eyes and knew that he knew. And he was glad. "He told you."

"Not everything, but enough."

"What the hell is going on?" Chris snapped. He didn't like mysteries; especially ones concerning his family.

"I found my mystery man," Vin told them.

"Really? That's great Vin," Chris said with a smile.

"Have you contacted him yet?" Nathan asked.

"It's Ezra," he said.

"What's Ezra?" Buck wanted to know.

Vin looked at him with a knowing look and nodded.

"Ezra's your mystery man!" JD spoke up for the first time.

"That explains a lot," Nathan said with a nod.

"And?" Chris pushed because he just knew there was more to this story. Vin was more than just worried about Ezra. In fact, he acted as though he was afraid Ezra wouldn't came back.

"Ezra loves me," Vin stated with clarity. "He told me so before he left on Thanksgiving night."

"Thanksgiving night? Vin he didn't start his undercover assignment until the Monday after Thanksgiving," Chris stated clearly confused. Hell, he would have thought someone would have to pry them apart, "So why'd he leave Thanksgiving night?"

"Because I wasn't able to say the words in return and so he....."

"He left thinking you don't love him," JD finished for him to which Vin just nodded.

"You mean to tell us that Ezra, a man who would not tell us he'd been stabbed even though we could still see the knife in him, told you that he loved you and you did nothing?" Nathan asked in disbelief.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Buck demanded.

"Do you love him?" Josiah asked speaking up for the first time.

Vin vigorously nodded his head.

"Then why didn't you tell him?" the large man wondered.

"I don't know. I...."

"You don't love him do you?"

"Yes! I do! I do," he pleaded.

"Then why!"

"Because everyone that I've ever loved and told has died," Vin finally told them. "I know it's irrational, but I didn't want anything to happen to Ezra. I d..didn't want to lose him and I have anyway."

"Vin you have to realize that those people didn't die because you loved them, but because it was their time. You can't hide from love," Josiah explained. "It's so hard to find true love Vin that when you do you need to grasp it in both hands and hold on it, but not to tightly because love has to have room to grow." Grasping Vin's face in his hands Josiah pulled him close and told him. "And you haven't lost Ezra. He loves you Vin. He told me that he'd take on the world for you." Releasing him Josiah stepped back and said, "You know as well as I do that Ezra was often left alone as a child or with uncaring relatives and as a result he's become almost single-mindedly self-reliant. He doesn't allow anyone to close, but he's let the six of us in. And more importantly, he's willing to risk his heart in spite of his past. He thinks you're worthy of that risk. So you need to ask yourself if Ezra is."

Vin still heard those words in his head as he let himself into Ezra's apartment. After dropping the mail on a near by table he walked around looking and touching Ezra's things and felt the sadness around his heart begin to lighten.

He had been coming to Ezra's apartment for almost a week now. Ezra had called the following Friday and told Chris that he'd been invited to go out of town with the suspects and wanted a second opinion before agreeing. Just like Ezra Chris took it as a sign of trust and said it was up to him. Vin groaned at the thought of having to spend another week away from Ezra, but held tight to the promise that Ezra had made about being home for Christmas.

Even though Vin had been in and out of Ezra's apartment since Josiah gave him the key he had yet to enter Ezra's bedroom; until now. Pushing open the door to Ezra's bedroom Vin walked straight for the bed and grabbed one of the pillows and brought it to his nose and inhaled Ezra's sent and clutched it to him for a moment before something on the dresser caught his eye. Dropping the pillow he walked up to the dresser and picked up a small jar. Turning it around in his hands Vin suddenly froze as he recognized the plaid ribbon. "Oh Ezra," he whispered and brought the jar to his lips and kissed the outside. For there preserved inside was the mistletoe which they'd shared their first kiss under.

As he carefully sat the jar back down he had an idea. With a grin Vin walked over and sat down on the bed and picked up the phone. "Buck I need your help."

On Christmas Eve night Ezra wearily let himself into his apartment. After closing and locking the door he sighed and leaned against it for a moment and resisted the urge to run to Vin's. Pushing away from the door he left his bag by the door and shrugged out of his coat and tossed it on the couch. Kicking off of his shoes he dropped his keys by a stack of mail. As he walked toward his bedroom he loosened his tie and then started undoing his shirt. Pulling the ends from his pants Ezra pushed open the door and slapped on the light and froze.

Everywhere he looked was mistletoe. It hung from the ceiling and drapes. There was even some at the head of his bed. Hearing the shower stop had Ezra's heart hammering. A few minutes later he turned and felt his breath catch as Vin stepped out of the bathroom and Ezra's eyes were caught by his exposed chest. Moving of their own accord his feet closed the distance between them. Reaching up Ezra went to touched him just to make sure he was real, but instead he let his hand drop.

Swallowing hard he asked, "What are you doing here?"

Vin had to blink back tears at the despair on that handsome face and simply told him, "I love you Ezra. I knew I loved you that night, but I was afraid to tell you."

"Why?" Ezra asked. Then listened as Vin told him about his fear of telling him and having him die. "I can't promise you not to die Vin, but I can promise to love you for as long as God allows us," he vowed. Then unable to resist any longer Ezra reached out and touched Vin's rapidly beating pulse and let his hand drift down his chest and lower stopping only as he reached the top of his jeans. Stepping closer he traced the seam and brought his other hand up and reached inside the open shirt and gripped Vin's waist and pulled him closer.

"Vin," he began only to stop as he felt tears sting his eyes causing him to close them. After a couple of seconds Ezra reopened his eyes and tried again. "As much as I want to lose myself in your body; right now I'm more interested in this," he touched a finger to Vin's forehead indicating his mind. "And what's in here," indicating his heart. "Vin I don't want to rush you. I'll give you what ever you need. What ever you want," Ezra promised, "I'll do."

Vin smiled and wrapped his arms around Ezra and whispered, "Then shut up and kiss me."

Ezra needed no other urging and gently kissed Vin causing him to melt, but refused to deepen it just yet. He wanted to savor the taste of Vin and refused to be rushed. The need for air had them separating and Ezra stepped completely away and walked over and turned on the radio. Turning he held open his arms and invited, "Would you like to dance?"

Instead of answering Vin stepped into Ezra's arms and laughed as they started twirling around the room to a Christmas tune. Vin gripped Ezra's arms as he was suddenly dipped and just as suddenly placed back on his feet.

"Why all the mistletoe?" Ezra asked as he kissed Vin on the tip of his nose.

"Because it was under mistletoe that I first fell in love with you," Vin breathlessly replied as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to Ezra's.

"Stay with me tonight?" Ezra whispered against his lips.

"There's no where I'd rather be," Vin replied and kissed him lightly on the lips and when he went to deepen it Ezra pulled back. "Ezra? Wh.." the words were cut off by Ezra's lips.

"What side do you like to sleep on? The right or the left?" Ezra suddenly asked.

"The right."

"Really? I like the left," Ezra said with a grin and switched the lamp on and then pulled the blankets back. Giving Vin's hand a squeeze he fell to his knees in front of him and reached up and undid his jeans and pulled them off and offered support as he stepped out of them. Then Ezra ran his hands up his muscled calves and thighs and past his boxers and gripped Vin's waist. Leaning forward he rested his forehead on Vin's tapered stomach and then lowered his head and kissed Vin's straining manhood before getting to his feet. After switching the light off Ezra finished undressing and climbed on the bed and crawled under the covers and patted the spot next to him and said in a pleading tone, "Sleep with me."

Vin needed no more prompting and climbed in. He sighed as he felt Ezra's arms wrap around him and then moaned as one of Ezra's legs wedged itself between both of his.

"Relax, Vin," Ezra whispered in his ear, "we aren't gonna do anything but sleep." Having said that he reached over and turned the lamp off.

Vin suddenly sat up and asked, "Sleep? Why?"

"Because I prefer to open my presents on Christmas day," Ezra replied with a wide grin. "We have plenty of time to make love Vin, right now all I want to do is hold you."

Before settling down Vin leaned down and kissed Ezra and said, "Goodnight Ezra. I love you." Laying back down he turned so that Ezra could spoon up behind him. Vin shivered as he felt Ezra's chest press into his back and resisted the urge to press his bottom into Ezra's groin. If all Ezra wanted was to hold him then that was exactly what they'd do. He can hold out as long as Ezra could. He's just as strong willed as Ezra was. Truth be told he was glad Ezra didn't want to rush into sex. Tomorrow would come soon enough, Vin tried to convince himself and refused to look at the clock. With a sigh he turned and rested his head on Ezra's chest and laid his hand on his waist and snuggled in Ezra's arms. And just as he was drifting off he felt Ezra kiss him on the head and whisper, "Goodnight Vin. I love you too."

Just before sun rise Ezra pulled himself from Vin's arms and went to the bathroom. Walking back to the bed he was taken aback by the sight of an uncovered Vin. Gingerly kneeling on the bed Ezra traced a finger down his face, across his lips, and down to where his pulse beat in his neck. Leaning down he placed his tongue against that beat and thanked God for bringing this man into his life.

Feeling Vin's pulse begin to speed up Ezra knew that Vin beginning to wake up. Feeling bold he lowered his head and flicked Vin's nipples with tongue and grinned at the moan that that brought. Laying his head on Vin's chest Ezra traced his ribs then lowered his hand and pushed it past the elastic band of his boxers and gently gripped him in his hand and just held him.

"Don't stop now," a husky voice said as a warm hand ran it's fingers through Ezra's hair.

"Oh sorry, did I wake you," Ezra teased and removed his hand only to long enough to remove the boxers all together. Then after removing his own he climbed on top of Vin and kissed him as their naked heated erections met for the first time.

Shuddering Vin opened his mouth and his legs and invited Ezra as close as he wanted. Wrapping his legs around Ezra's waist he met him thrust for thrust and moaned as he felt Ezra brand him on the shoulder stretching up he returned the favor.

All to soon they were both moaning and groaning and straining to get a close as they could to each other. Suddenly Vin clutched Ezra to him and whispered harshly in his ear, "Oh Ezra I love you so much."

Those words were Ezra's undoing and he lost all control and screamed Vin's name and he came all over them both.

Feeling Ezra's release triggered his own and he clutched him all the tighter as their fluids mixed. The release was so intense that Vin nearly blacked out from the experience. As he heart calmed down he felt Ezra's kissing him and heard him say he loved him.

Ezra pushed up and rested on his elbows and with a smile full of love and promise said, "Merry Christmas Vin."

With a quick twist Vin reversed their positions and was now laying on top of Ezra and after kissing him gently on the lips replied, "Merry Christmas Ez."

The End.