"You say that you love me. Well, I'm afraid I don't believe you. When we go to work, you ignore me, always looking at HIM. What? Did you think I didn't notice? Surely you jest. You sit across from me! But, as they say, back to the point: It's over, Vin, it's over. I, of course, mean between you and Chris. He has moved on. You should too. I thought that you had, but I have had a blindingly clear insight to this one-sided relationship. I am merely a convenience. Some one to warm your bed and satisfy your hunger, if you will. A casual fuck, pardon my crude language. I HEARD you that night. You said his name. My name sounds nothing like his, so I made no mistake. I did not misunderstand. I should have realized sooner; I mean, now that I think back, it is very obvious. Every time I wanted to do "couple things", like dinner, a movie, or even a walk in the park, you would always have excuses. Now I understand. Why do couple things when there is no couple?

If it were only me you were hurting, maybe I would not be doing this, because even after all this, I still love you. Silly, right? But, it is not just me. You are also hurting Buck. Oh, he wouldn't say anything. He would go on like nothing is wrong. You don't understand true love. Buck and Chris have it. I thought I did, but, as we all know, I know nothing about love. When you go back to work, watch them. You can feel it from across the room. It is so strong, yet so fragile, and you are not helping it like a true friend would. You are trying to destroy it. I'm not making judgments about how good of friend you are. I know you would give your life for any one of them, but you need to think about what they need. What they want. Buck and Chris want AND need each other. I know you and Chris used to be lovers and maybe there still is a spark, but he moved on. It's over. Move on.

Well, I guess I have jabbered on long enough and I will bring this to a close. While you were listening to this C.D., I had my letters of resignation hand delivered to Judge Travis, Chris, and the Director of the ATF, with promise of a bonus for speed. They have already received the letters and have probably already read them. I, myself, am boarding my flight at this moment. I'll always love you, even though you don't love me.

I know this is the cowards way out, but I know I couldn't have done it face to face without losing it, or not following through. Maybe we will meet again some day. I love you. Ezra P. Standish."

Vin turned off the C.D. player and sank down on the couch. "Oh, Ez, I'm so sorry," he whispered. He never knew it was that bad. He stood suddenly and grabbed his keys.

"I will find you," he swore, as he walked out the door.