Note: chatting with Mytryk brought up the idea.
 
 
 

Backing Up Ideas.
 
 

Wade looked frustrated with the new security arrangements Clay was making them use.  "Why are we doing this?  No one in Miami is going to touch Xander or the family."

Clay gave him a smug look.  "You mean besides the nice weapons dealer from Italy who just came down to scope him out?"

"Crap.  I hadn't heard that."  He texted someone to get a sit rep and a threat index done.  One of the spooks he had blackmail on, but they'd do it for Xander anyway.  "Any others I hadn't heard about?"  Clay handed over that folder, letting him read it.  "Why doesn't he just build a special, secure hotel?"

"Because Steve doesn't want to run one?" Clay guessed.

"Possibly a good point," Wade sighed, leaning back.  "Any idea when their mentally deficient plan will happen?"

"Nope.  So far he's down here scoping and he's got his eye on Ray Junior too."

"He can stay with the family probably.  I know he has in the past."  Clay nodded.  "Any other bad news I need to hear?"

"Not yet.  Though Adam and Ray are finally back in town."  Wade shrugged.  "You sure you want to be totally out of his life?"

"Yup."

"Fine.  Have you seen the part-time nanny Xander hired for Horatio and Speedle?"

Wade smirked.  "I helped him interview."

"No wonder they got the scary nanny."

"I thought he should've hired the former Marine but Xander said that was too much trouble for Horatio to deal with.  Horatio wanted to use the daycare by the station.  Xander pointed out all the insecure points and how one of the bad guys, as he put it, that had recently been arrested worked there."

"That figures," Clay agreed.  "Anya?"

"Back tomorrow."

"All right.  Let's see what we can do about these guys."  Wade's phone rang with a message.  "Good?"

Wade looked it over.  "Six that you didn't know about, all weapons dealers."  He huffed.  That would mean he'd have to help Xander defend himself.  Again.  "We need to get Xander more ways of wearing things out."

Clay shrugged.  "I've already donated Jensen and sometimes Cougar."

He let Clay see the list.  It would make their job harder if they didn't have it.  Which would mean more work for Wade.  Clay sent it to himself and then sent it to Jensen as well.  "Seeing if he's mentioned them?" Wade asked dryly.

"Yes.  Or if they're already poker buddies."  Wade snorted.  "Are they mad at him?  He's not playing right now."

"He's backed up and they think it means he's mean because of the tumor."

"Oh.  That makes more sense."  He shrugged.  "He was talking about going out of town?"

"To the super GHS place in Dallas."

"I hadn't heard that.  I heard a trip to New York for something."

"That I hadn't heard," Wade admitted.  They grimaced at each other.  Then they asked Jensen, who could ask Xander.  Jensen sent back the list of upcoming trips.  "Oh, charming," he said dryly.  "Flack's father's getting an award."

"New York has a good team," Clay said.  "Their backup team is pretty decent and the last few members are coming out of specialized training next week."  Wade snorted.  "It helps."

"How long was it?"

"Two weeks of how to deal with a backed up GHS or the irritable people who want to keep them; making sure you know how to rescue someone quietly and not.  Various facts like the allergy list and those things."  Wade shuddered.  He had accidentally set off Xander's allergy to something and he had surged so hard Wade had stumbled down to the GHS pool to use it himself.  He still didn't know what had caused it.  Clay sent him that list.  "It was the seasoning, it had one of the herbs.  Horatio checked."

"Wonderful."  He read it over, grimacing.  "And the massage oil Anya bought him."

"No, I think that was on purpose.  Cougar said she was talking about mini-surges for fun."

"If she turns GHS I'm paddling her to death," Wade growled.

Clay got up and left, cackling all the way to the team's SUV.

"I'm not kidding," Wade called after him.   He settled in to sulk.  He hated having to work with Clay.  He still wanted to kill him for all the shit at the end with Max.  If he did that, Xander would make him sorry so he wasn't going to test how far down the path to evil Xander could go.  Bringing him to Disney had been torture, and Xander had enjoyed it.  It'd be better not to let him explore the depths of his evil side.

***

Jensen put his phone back.  "Clay said Wade wondered why you haven't built a super GHS hotel like Dallas has."  He got back to his poker hand.

"Steve said it wouldn't get a whole lot of profit here.  If it was in Orlando maybe, with all the resorts, but not down here."

"What about just north of here, where all the spring break stuff happens?"

"I'm told Fort Lauderdale has really gotten tight bun syndrome about those things," Xander said dryly.  "That and the motorcycle rally they used to have."

"Huh."  Jensen considered it.  "What would you do if you could?"

"Great spa, or two.  In this area it's almost a sin if you don't have a golf course, but that's not really my thing.  Maybe enough area for some light trail riding?  A good spread of hotel rooms.  The really upper crust, A-list places like in Vegas, only GHS style, including emergency exits.  Great security.  Huge ass water play area.  Close to at least a park, a beach, and within forty-five of Miami.  Maybe if we could get our own beach area it'd be great."  Jensen grinned at that.  "I'm told the one in Dallas is great and all but there's no security exits.  But the security team is top notch."

Jensen nodded.  "Which is always a great thing for you guys."  Xander nodded with a grin.  "What sort of emergency exits?"

"I don't know.  It might depend on the room.  Maybe one with an emergency exit slide?  That could be kinda fun from a tower room?  Call it the Princess Suite?"

Jensen grinned.  "I know some people who'd like that idea.  Plus probably killer views of the whole resort.  If you had the area, you could hold conventions there."

"They do at the Dallas hotel.  It's considered the safest convention.  They'd even send less agents to that one.  Though the one in Cascade was kinda fun.  We got out into the mountains and all that."  Jensen nodded that had been fun.  "If I did, I'd have to see if that chocolate shop in Vegas wanted to open up a shop.  Get some really great restaurants.  A nice few malls close by for shopping trips."

One of the guys at the poker table looked at him.  "Why don't you just buy an island and start your own country?"

"I can't find one big enough," Xander quipped with a grin.  "Or with enough stuff to do.  If I could take over California or Nevada....."  The other poker players moaned.  "We'd have a great, open country.  All sorts of great attractions, nice laws, all that."  He beamed.  "If I could find an island about that size...."

"Never mind," the dealer told him.  "It might be a good sanctuary though."

"Didn't you sell one?" one of the older poker players asked.

"That was left to me and I sold it to Jace, who runs a very nice, quiet, low key, resting sort of resort in Vegas.  She's a friend."  Xander grinned.  "The one down there is really well liked by her clientele."

"That's good to know," he said.  "What does she run in Vegas?"

"The Olde Worlde," Jensen said.

"Yeah, that's not a shows and fun casino sort of place.  That's a quiet, resting, calming down place.  But it's good to recover from the other places there."  Xander nodded.  "Do you think a resort like that would work?"

"I don't know.  Steve said not in this area, but around Orlando it might be easier.  I have no idea about business stuff.  I've been taking down ideas from the places we've traveled and what we needed there.   Steve said if I put it in LA near a rehab center they'd really like it."

"In LA you'd need clubs and you'd have to pay the pretty people to party there the first few times."

"You mean you have to pay the creepy things on tv?" Xander asked.  They all nodded.  "Why?"

"Because they bring in business.  It's like paying for advertising," the dealer said.  "Some of those people get a few grand a night to go party somewhere."

Xander grimaced.  "Eww."

"Yeah but that's what sells a new place," Jensen said with a grimace of his own.  "Or you host a convention and word of mouth gets out."

Xander nodded he understood that area.  "I should set it up in Sunnydale.  Buy the whole town, give two houses to some good people who can keep the stupid hellmouth shut, and then raze the rest for the resort," Xander quipped.  "Buffy and Willow would freak the hell out if I did that."

Jensen tested Xander's forehead.  "Let's not, okay?"  Xander smirked at him.  "Though I can pass that information back and see how much they freak."  He texted that to Roque, who did indeed freak out.  "Roque said if that would get rid of all the vampires they'd probably enjoy that."

Xander leaned over his arm to read the message then sent his own.  They shared an evil smirk.  Then got back to their poker game.

Cougar looked at his phone when it beeped then across the room at those two.  "Behave," he called.

"We are," Jensen quipped with a smirk for him.  "Xander's having a fantasy resort built hypothetically for the future."

Cougar moaned, shaking his head.  The others in the room all stared at them.

"I thought he was out of being evil," someone complained from across the room.

"I am," Xander called back.  "Steve said it's not practical here so it's still in the hypothetical."

The rest of the room just nodded at his delusion.  Because Xander had those funny mental issues sometimes.

***

Adam walked up to Xander, staring down at him since he was tanning in the front yard.  "What were you planning about a sanctuary?"

"I quipped if I could find an island, or buy California or Nevada, I'd do that," he said, looking up at him with a grin.  "But just a single island is too boring and too small."

"Quite," Adam said, staring at him.  "This ...resort?"

"Fantasy planning."

"Hmm.  The one in Dallas isn't doing that well, Xander."

"I heard that.  Is that why we're doing the convention there next year?"  Adam nodded, sitting beside him.  "No baby?"

"Ray and he are sleeping."  He stared at him.  "It might not do all that good."

"That's what Steve said so I was having mental fantasies."  He summoned out the folder he had been making notes in, letting him see it.  "I've been thinking about it with all the hotels we've stayed in over the years."

Adam looked it over.  "Not the same sort of niche market that the one in Dallas has."

"If they'd advertise it as a resort spa, it might help."

"The economy is bad."

"I know."  He went back to his book while Adam read over his notes.

"A slide?" he snorted.

"Like that house in Tokyo that I saw on the online news?"  Adam shook his head, continuing on.  "I joked about buying all of Sunnydale, shutting it all down, giving a few people houses for keeping the hellmouth shut, and then building it there too," he said with a grin.

"If you kept the college and all the quaint shops but could get rid of the evil, it could help," Adam said dryly.  He looked at him.  Xander just grinned back.  "That would probably mean that your former friends would be out in the world."

"If we could seal it, they could move to the next most dangerous spot."

"Cleveland would hate your former friends."  He went back to his browsing.  It was a great idea, if he could pull it off.  No one he knew could do that though, even Jace.  The resort was often enough to drive her off the deep end when things went wrong or they had bad years.  "This would take an extreme amount of work, Xander."  He closed it and put it between them.

"I know, which is why it's a fantasy.  Like setting up a sanctuary area for us would be."

"That could be nice, but I doubt many of us would take advantage of it."  Xander summoned something and handed it over.  Adam read it and growled.  "When did you get this?"  There went his happy mood for the year.  He might even have to turn back into Death because of this.

"Earlier.  I talked to Tony to see if he could figure out what was going on and if he couldn't, I was going to demand a full family dinner tomorrow."  He looked at his buddy again.  Then he smirked.  "Gibbs is pissed as hell.  I sent that to Tony and was talking to him.  Gibbs went from growling to actual swearing at someone military."

"I'd say.  I'm about to do the same."  He stood up.  "Let me see what Anthony has done to stop this very bad plan."  He left, going to call the GHS board together, the full International board.  They complained, a few were in the middle of sleeping, but it had to be heard.

Xander tucked the folder into his book and went back to reading.  Adam had the politics stuff well in hand.  Though he felt sorry for whoever had that very bad idea to bring the GHS group into the government.  Even if they did think it would protect them.

***

Xander walked off the plane the next day and smiled at the man staring at him.  "Yes, Agent Fornell?"

"You can't be here, Harris."

"Bite me," he said with a smile.  He walked off, still calm, centered, smiling.  He had a car hired, knowing his boys' laws about driving.  He kindly went to meet with someone.  He walked in and held up the email message saying he had an appointment.  "Is he free?" he asked dryly.

"Yes, sir.  Why?"

"Because he's screwed up massively."  He walked into the office without knocking.  "Who are you to say that I can't own things?"

The senator stared at him.  "Mr. Harris....."

Xander sneered and kicked the door shut.  "Do remember that I'm not just GHS, I'm also a demon hunter."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "I'm the same Xander I was in Sunnydale.  Even if the hormones do cloud me sometimes, danger does push them back down."  He stared at him.  "Whatever idiot plan this is...."

"It's for your own protection."

"I think that's why I have two boyfriends, which is none of your business.  We *are* free citizens.  This isn't Saudi Arabia or any other country that has legitimized slavery.  Is it?"  The man opened his mouth.  Xander held up a hand.  "Spare me the neo-moralistic bullshit, Demon.  If you should try to move this forward, you're going to have problems.  Not the least of which is me taking down the clan's homeland.  After all, I *did* win it in a game."  The demon gaped.  Xander stared at him.  "Did you want me to prove it?  Because I can make you so miserable it's not funny just because you screwed with me."

"I see no reason for my state to pay for a *retrieval* team," he sneered.

"Your state doesn't pay for a damn thing," Xander said dryly.  "The Society pays for them."  He smirked.  "We have had a lot of very generous donations over the centuries."  The demon started to get huffy.  Xander cleared his throat.  "Regent?"  A new demon appeared, bowing to him.  "Do inform him of the facts you told me."

"This little pissant is nothing in his clan," he sneered at the demon.  "His clan's lands are all held in honor for you after you won them in a hopscotch game, Lord Xander."  Xander smirked at the horrified looking senator.  "There is also nothing he can legally do to you or any other member, as it is against the law to try to take custody of people for a hormone condition.  It does not cause public harm because you all take good care of it or take precautions if you don't."

Xander nodded.  "That is true.  Even when I'm broadcasting, I usually have a reason."

"You hormoned two city blocks in frustration because an officer hated your little gay union," the senator sneered.

Xander stared at him.  "Yes, I did.  Because she was acting against the laws of Florida and Miami to taunt me for things like being in a relationship to wear my hormones out.  In case you hadn't heard, one of the best ways to do that is to give a blow job.  Something in the seminal fluid helps ease the hormone backlog.  You should try it sometime."

The demon regent coughed.  "Lord Xander, are you telling anyone about this?"

"I am."  He handed over the wire he was wearing.  "Right to Adam please."  He nodded and left.  "By the way, he's my Regent on the Demon High Council," he said with a smug look.  "I will ruin you for trying to treat me like a slave, Senator.  I'd enjoy your last few days.  After all, not like I don't have diplomats who want my pretty ass.  And other senators.  A few House Reps....  The Vice President last month."  He smirked.  "I'm going to go visiting all of them very shortly."  He walked off.  "You might be aware that the demonic senator from Texas believes in slavery," he told the receptionist.  "I'd make sure he doesn't see you that way, dear."  He walked out to his car, heading up the street to his next appointment.  He pulled off his other wire, showing it to the guards.  "I have a meeting and this is information he wants to hear about a senator who has plans to destroy the US."

The Secret Service guard stared at him.  "Name, sir?"

"Alexander Harris."

He called that to the secretary, who complained about him.  "His receptionist said he can't see you, sir.  That it'll cause problems?"

"I have incense in my bag that will mute any hormone output," he said dryly.  "But that wire contains a meeting with a senator who thinks all people like me should be slaves.  He's trying to get an emergency bill pushed through to capture us all for the supposed good of the US.  Unfortunately he's got enough support that it'll be a messy battle.  Oh, and he's a demon."

The guard called that in and helped him to a room, where he did indeed set up the incense.  A few others joined in for the meeting, including the Chief of Staff.  Xander let the guard handle the wire's tape.  The Vice President walked in.  "Thank you for taking precautions, Mr. Harris."

"Sir, I had no intention of coming anywhere near this part of DC until that moron decided to restart slavery," he said with a smile.  "Usually I just pop in to see Gibbs' team at the shipyards."

"How do you an NCIS agent?" the Secret Service agent asked.

"Greg used to be in Miami and we were trouble buddies."  He smiled.  "Gibbs sent down hard and fast rules for my being in DC, including that I do wear a GPS location device.  I did change it to one that only he had the code to in case that senator tries anything."

The agent ran the tape, wincing at what was on it.  "You're demonic?"

"No, I'm actually formerly part of the Sunnydale patrol team."  The agent gaped in horror.  Xander smirked.  "I was at the invasion in LA.  That was my artillery actually."

"I saw that," the VP said.  "That was a nice job."

"Thank you."  Xander stared at him.  "Me being me means that I've never discriminated against anything peaceful, unless they were trying to use me or own me.  Over the years, I've played different sorts of poker and other games with some higher demons and ended up winning seventeen realms.  That means I have a crapload of status on the High Council."  They all stared at him so he smirked.  "Most of the time I had no idea that they were betting their realms.  I always bet cash, jewels, and weapons."  The VP nodded at that.  "So I have a regent sitting in my seat that they made me take.  Because frankly politics is not my thing.  It doesn't make me happy in the least."

"It is useful at times," the VP said.

"Yes, and all of us are natural concubines so we know enough to get what we need and want, but this particular demon is in deep shit.  As far as I know, slavery isn't legal."

"No, it's not," the VP agreed.  "I looked into that bill.  It has some support.  Mostly from the anti-gay sorts."  Xander sighed and pulled a booklet out of his briefcase, handing it to him.  The VP read it and winced.  "That's why so many of you are gay."

"Yes, and the states don't pay for retrieval teams.  The Society pays for it.  Adam has been on the phone all night with the International groups' presidents.  They're all quite upset with the US."

"How many of them may be attached to people in higher jobs, like CEO's or other world leaders?" the agent asked.

"I don't know," Xander admitted.  "Most of us are just happy to find someone understanding.  I know one locally is an ... assistant to a Senator from California.  Though I heard he was in favor of the bill.  I'm not sure if she knows or not."

"Oh, dear," the VP sighed.  "This is going to get messy."

"Yes, I can guarantee that if someone comes to try to capture me for the US or turn me into a slave of the country, I will cause a mess," Xander said bluntly.  "Not with any weapon, not with any bomb, just with my hormones.  Unlike most of the level tens, I'm backed up and high enough on the usual hormone output that I can get all of Miami if I *really* wanted to.  That is a last ditch effort.  It's not one I want to have to pull out of my ass crack.  But if it does happen I will."

"I understand," he agreed.  "You have weapons?"

"It's under Horatio's direct control.  I hoard, pet, and coo over the apocalypse vault Miami has."  He smiled.  "Most of it I won in a poker game of some sort or another."

"Demons?" the Chief of Staff asked.

"No."

"You're the one that plays with all the underground and takes most of the money," he said bluntly.  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Shit."

"Not today, I had cheese last night for dinner," Xander quipped with a grin.  The Chief of Staff stared for a second then burst out laughing.  "I won't claim I won't tell them if I'm in that sort of danger.  Though I could go hide on my former island I sold after I inherited it."  The VP shivered.  "The guy who made all those robots," he said with a grin.  "This is why I came to you.  Why the regent for my seat has the other copy of that tape.  Because them doing that is going to force a lot of people into defending themselves and it won't be good for the US.  I'd easily get all of Miami's out of the way and have enough contacts in New York and LA to do the same for most of them as well.  We are a *support* network, sir."

"I get that, Harris."  He and the others shared a look.  "Even if they should try, that is slavery and against the Constitution and the law of the land."

"Yes, but people managed to get around it and it'll be very messy until the Supreme Court can hear the case in a few years."

"Good point," he agreed.  "You let us dowse this brewing problem."

"I sincerely hope you can," Xander said more quietly, smiling at him.  "Because if I have to stop this problem, it's going to be a mess.  I never learned how to be subtle and I'll out his family so fast it'll make the other senators crap cockroaches.  Which could then lead to more problems for other demons in the government, and some in the military, and could possibly lead to even more outing than that invasion did.  Which they would hate as well.  Which is why I'm asking someone else to handle it for me."

"I understand," he agreed, smiling at him.  "Thank you for coming to us about this and giving us the chance to have it fixed."

"It's only right and proper that you fix your own minions."  He stood up and grabbed his bag.  "I'm going to take Gibbs' team to lunch.  Deputy Director Fornell is still probably having a coronary at Dulles since he tried to stop me and I froze him in place so I could walk around him."  He smiled.  "Thank you for your time, gentlemen."  He left.  The agent escorted him out to his car.  "Thank you as well," he said quietly as they walked.

"It's not a problem, sir, but where did you get that incense?"  Xander handed over the bag, earning a smile.  "We'll keep some on hand in case more meetings are needed.  Thank you."

"You're welcome.  You guys do important things so I don't have to suck up to the world leaders who want to own me."  He got into his car and let the agent shut the door for him.  "We're going to lunch with Gibbs' team please."

"Shipyards?" the guard asked.

"Yup."  He smiled.  "Did I make reservations?"

"I think you did," the FBI agent admitted.  Xander knew he was a plant.  He knew he was a plant.  They were both okay with that and it was the easiest guarding job he had ever done.  "Go okay?"

"They heard me out and heard that we'll defend ourselves if necessary, including and up to outing him as a demon."

"That would cause a mess," he agreed, turning the car around so they could get onto the main street.  He saw the following car and called that in.  That wasn't anyone he was used to.  "Sir, do you know them?"

Xander looked.  "They're from one of the embassies.  I totally ruined their happy mood the last time by saving myself."  The agent nodded and sped up a bit, getting onto the Beltway.  Xander grinned.  "It's going to be okay."

"If you're sure."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, I'm fairly certain."  He unhid his weapons.  The agent gave him a short, horrified look then sped up faster.  "My boys' rules say I am never to be totally disarmed.  Even just the hairpins."  He hid them again.

"How do you do that?"

"Ignore me spells."

"Can anyone else do those?"

"Yeah.  Greg knows a few locally who can.  They've gotten their help before on undercovers."

"You...  You just met with the VP."

"I did but I was charming, used my words instead of my weapons, and made good points.  I'd never fire on the VP.  I'd hate prison sex.  They'd want to cut my hair."

The agent laughed.  "Probably true, yes, sir."  He'd have to tell the Secret Service guard later.  They made it to the Shipyards and into the building before their following car caught up to them.  They were on the elevator when they rushed in complaining.

"That's nearly as bad as the time Sheppard tried to sell my cute ass."  They got off and Xander smiled at Tony.  "Lunchies?"

Tony smiled.  "Lunch would be good."

"Gibbs, we have embassy staff in the entryway," the agent told him.  "They followed us."

"Two were some of the guys I embarrassed the last time," Xander said with a grin.  "We're being good boys and avoiding them."

"Good," Gibbs ordered.  "DiNozzo, take him down the back way with Sanders.  I'll meet you at the restaurant."  The driver/agent handed him a card, getting a nod back.  "McGee, Ziva, stay with them."  They followed once they had their guns.  He looked at the agent.  "Why is he in town?"

"Some senator wants to turn all GHS into slaves that belong to the government."

"Crap.  We were hoping he'd let others handle it."  He headed down to deal with those people while the driver followed to guard his charge for the day.  "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted when he came out into the mess.

"That man made our Minister hate his wife!" one shouted.  "He must fix him!"

"Your minister kidnaped the kid.  It's his own damn fault.  Let him commit suicide instead.  And if I ever see you here at NCIS again, it had better be because of a case.  Or else you'll need to hire people."  They ran off.  Gibbs growled, looking at security.

"The guy with the hair?" the head of security asked.  "I remember him from when Sheppard had us invaded to capture him for the same sort of reason."

"They were following him.  He showed up to take DiNozzo and Sanders to lunch."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Let Vance know."  He got into his own car and went to talk to Fornell on his way to lunch.  They'd hold off for him for a few minutes.

The Head of Security pulled up that old file and the tape from the current one, knowing the new director was stomping his way.   He let him see the present tape, getting a dirty look.  So he showed him the old one, getting a grimace.  "The one bodyguarding him is FBI, sir."

"Good!"  He looked at things.  "Why him?  He's cute but not what I'd expect."

"He's the guy in Miami, sir.  The one Sanders used to hang out with?  The one that got them the SUV?"

"I saw that thing."  He considered what he had heard about Miami and shuddered.  "Why was he in town?"

"Rumors say someone wants to confiscate all of them as slaves."

"If I find them, I'm going to kill their stupid asses," Vance muttered as he walked off.  The government didn't need GHS.  His two drove him nuts, having two thousand in the government would destroy the country, if not the world.  Fortunately, the VP was able to take calls immediately so he could complain.  He got told the whole of the other plot.  Which made him start an investigation.  They'd work with the other agencies this time.

***

Clay hung up his phone, giving it an odd look.  "Jensen, we're being requested to help with an inquest into a few senators."  Jensen looked at him from his spot in the gym.  "Apparently Xander is in DC, did tell the VP about the plot to make them all slaves, and then had to run from some people who wanted him."

Jensen nodded, getting off the treadmill to get his laptop and start looking.

"An official inquest?" Pooch asked.

"Yeah.  A full official inquest.  Six senators want to revive slavery."  They all moaned.  "I need evac plans in case we have to move all the ones in Miami suddenly."

Pooch nodded, sitting down to make some just in case plans.  "The island?"

"That's a good place to start."  Clay looked at Cougar, who shrugged.  He hadn't heard a thing.  "Make sure everyone who should know where Xander is does."  Cougar nodded, moving to call Horatio.  He could spread it to everyone else.  Clay was having a migraine.

"Did you know there's a few generals who wanted to make a full unit of GHS and guardians?" Jensen quipped with a grin for him.  "An elite counter-terrorism and intelligence gathering, plus subtle destruction unit."

Clay rubbed his head.  "I'm going to have an aneurism.  Just work on the inquest for Gibbs and his director."

"We should ask the BAU guys who know if they've heard anything.  Their analyst is a huge hacker too."

"Go ahead and ask Garcia," Clay agreed.  "I'm sure they will be."  That trio of hackers in DC was going to be reactivated to find and fight the newest evil.

"Aww, one's a demon," Jensen said dryly.  "Xander's already threatened to destroy his whole clan for this.  And he had hidden weapons when he was meeting with the VP and others.  They wanted to know how to do that."

"Tell 'em to ask Rosenburg," Clay ordered.  Yup, the headache could get worse.  "Tell them I'll spank him later."

"I'm sure Gibbs will," Wade said as he walked in, holding up a folder.  "From the local spooks who heard already."  He handed it over and left again.

Clay read through it, nodding at some of that information.  He handed it to Jensen, who included and shared it.

***

Tony looked at the snuggling lump between him and Greg on the couch, giving Greg a look.

Greg grinned.  "He can sleep out here," he mouthed.  He carefully laid Xander down and let Tony steal him to the bedroom for some cuddle time.  It had been a long day.  Xander had tried to go to a hotel but Gibbs had ordered him to stay with them.  Which sucked for their plans that night.  But sometimes you had to put off good sex for cuddles when there was an emergency going on.

Tony teased Greg with a wicked smirk.  "He won't mind, right?"

"He's not like that.  He'd tell you to pounce me, make me squeal, and make sure we both had fun."  Tony kissed him and their plans went back to the original.  Xander would probably sleep through the sex.  He might even make them breakfast in the morning.

***

Xander looked up from his spot beside Gibbs' desk, where he was to stay until it was time for him to fly back to Miami.  Gibbs had said so when that embassy had politely requested to meet with Xander in an open area.  Ian Edgerton was standing there staring at him.  "What?"

"Aren't you supposed to have at least your minion with you?"

"Anya just got back.  They're having a lot of loud, energetic sex to make up for the last two months."  He smiled.  "I hired a driver, and I made sure Fornell heard I was coming up so he could switch the driver if he wanted to.  Which he did.  The agent was really a nice guy."

"Good," Ian said.  "How long are you up for?"

"I have to leave for the airport in about an hour."

"Gibbs, I'll bring him," he called.  He let Xander grab his overnight bag and follow him out to his jeep.  "Were you in to cause a lot of problems?  Fornell made sure it was me guarding you today."

"A senator wants to make us all slaves of the US."

Edgerton considered that then shook his head.  "No, that'd destroy everyone," he decided, shaking his head quickly.  He passed that on via text message to the team in the LA FBI office.  That way they could warn theirs.  Because that sucked.  "Like the generals wanted to?" he asked, backing out of his spot and driving them to the airport.  "Regan?"

"Dulles."  He let him see his tickets.

"That'll work," he said.

"No, a bit more involved than that general's plans.  He wanted to fully revive slavery just for us and mandate forced blood tests.  Then we'd be *protected* for our own good."

"Not a good idea.  Most of you would destroy someone."

"Yes, I will," Xander assured him with a grin.

"That's probably why there's an official inquest going."

"That senator's a demon.  I own their clan's realm and I made sure he knew that."  Xander grinned.  "I haven't had to be a vindictive bitch in months.  It's good getting back into the old lifestyle."

Ian snorted.  "Let us handle it, Xander. You're a piece of artillery in this battle.  Let's start by using handguns."

"Sure.  A derringer is sometimes the best tool for the job."

"Exactly."  He pulled out of the Shipyards and onto the main road.  "How's the pets?"

"The horses are doing good.  The ferrets are extra cuddly with Sam for some reason.  And Jensen.  Am I going to be in trouble for the hidden weapons?"

"Nope," Ian said.  "We all like that idea and I'll explain it if I have to."  Xander hugged his free arm.  "Thanks, kid.  Calm down."

"I'm trying."  He got comfortable.  "How's Don and Charlie?  I haven't heard from them recently."

"They're good the last I heard.  Charlie's got some interesting problems going on under his hair."  Xander chuckled.  "Things have calmed down since the convention in Cascade.  They came back to nearly clear desks.  Their boss is really happy with that."

"Speed wrote me an email yesterday offering to find me one of those monkeys for DC."

"Gibbs and others would kill you, Xander, and you're not allowed to die because of that tumor."

"It got removed recently," he said with a grin.  Ian shot him a dirty look.  "A demon thought I was more fun that way so he got me a few times.  I ended up taking Wade and Anya to Disney with me for a few days because no one could remove it at that time."

Ian shuddered.  "Did Wade kill someone?"

"Not at the park.  He lasted a whole day.  Anya had a panic attack when Cinderella tried to hug her and pat her pregnant belly."

"She was pregnant?"

"Adam and Ray adopted him.  Horatio and Speed adopted Willow's baby girl.  I was the adoption committee."

"That's wonderful.  Caine seemed like a family sort of guy to me."  He turned onto the highway.  Xander tightened his seat belt.  "I'm a decent driver, Harris."

"Yeah but behind us are two guys with guns hanging out a window and I don't recognize them," Xander said.

Ian looked back.  "You're right, there are."  He hit a button on his phone, which was attached to his radio's hands-free system.  "It's Edgerton.  I'm on the Beltway heading toward Dulles from the Shipyards.  I have Harris with me and there's two yahoos with shotguns hanging out of a pickup truck directly behind us."

"Agent Edgerton, Mr. Harris is requested to meet with someone at the FBI building," the voice said.

"Who?" Xander asked.  "My flight leaves in two hours."

"We can help you change that, sir.  Deputy Director Fornell and others wanted to talk to you about a situation."

"Fine," Xander sighed, looking at Ian, who shrugged.  "Up to you, you're driving."

"We can do that," Ian agreed.  "Get them.  One just took aim at us."  He swerved lanes, going around a Virginia State trooper.  Their lights went on.  "We just skidded around Car 238, Virginia State boys," he reported.

"Understood."  They hung up.  The cop car swerved and blocked the truck a moment later.  Ian slowed down.

Xander looked at him.  "Am I in trouble?"

"I have no idea but Fornell would've gotten you from Gibbs' desk if he was arresting you."

"Probably true."  He shrugged and let it go as it would.

***

In Quantico, someone from the BAU was walking up a hallway carrying a small, black zippered case.  He tapped on a door and walked in, shutting it behind him.  "I need three drops of your blood."

"Why?" the man asked, staring at him.  "You're one of the profiling geeks, you don't deal with blood, Einstein."

Aaron Hotchner stared at him.  "Because I'm fairly certain a problem brewing in Congress is going to affect you but I wouldn't let Spenser Reid come tell you.  I don't want him ...involved in your caseload."  He undid the case on the desk, pulling out a piece of gauze.  "Three drops."  The agent sneered but did that.  Aaron dropped the solutions on it, getting the results he thought he would.  "Four, not too bad."  He handed over the manual from his pocket.  "The current problem bill is in the back."

He grimaced but read it, glaring at the senior agent.  "You're joking."

"Keep going."  He smirked.  "I've seen you lost a few times recently due to work keeping you out of everyone's beds, Smecker."

He continued reading, still grimacing.  He came to the allergy sheet.  "I wondered about that."  He found the bill and stared then at Hotchner.  "You're sure?"

"They're working to stop it.  Some of them are working hard at it, so are some agents.  There's an official inquest.  Spenser and I are the BAU reps to the society.  We even go to conventions."  He rezipped the case and put it into his pocket.  "Any agent that we think *might* be is getting the same warning because they'll start the mandatory blood tests without that bill.  The present director *hates* the society.  He ordered someone in the labs to start them today."

"Because his left?" Smecker said dryly.

"Yup."  Aaron smirked at him.  "So fair warning and all that.  Four of the senators behind that bill are actually demonic or half-demonic.  Which is why we had the worst case scenario for that problem in DC.  He's just left for the airport.  Thankfully.  No one had to rescue him from an embassy."

Agent Smecker stared at him.  "Are you fucking with me?"

"No.  He's in Miami.  He's a really nice guy, who plays poker with the underground so he has weapons to pet."  He stared at him.  "He's letting us handle it."  He left.   "Be safe and protect yourself.  The more who know, the more danger you and others are in."  The door shut behind him.

"The fuck!" Smecker complained.  He called someone.  "I need to see you two.  Demons.  Literal ones."  He hung up and left.  This was not going to keep going.  He'd kill them himself.  Though he had heard about the guy in Miami, he had been given his profile in case he ran into him during a case.  The semi-twink was mentally damaged and seriously needed a good hand on his leash.  Before he got nuclear weapons or something.

***

Horatio looked up as the plane started to disembark, staring at the young man.  "Xander."

"I was a good boy, Horatio.  I did good things, played by good rules, and I was a good boy."

Horatio cracked a smile.  "So we were told."

"I cabbed."

"We're having a family meeting."  Xander nodded, walking off with him.  Two people did try to pickpocket Xander but a stare stopped them both.  Horatio didn't even have to scowl.  They ran from Xander.  Horatio looked at him.

"I didn't do anything."

"Uh-huh."  He got him into the hummer and took him home, where it was safer.  The whole family, including the babies, the retrieval team, and the pets, gathered in the living room to go over what had happened so far and where things were heading.

Xander walked in.  "I'm back."  He heard a squeal and looked around.  "Hi, Mellie."  He headed for the living room, snatching his favorite niece.  "Did you miss the Uncle Xander?"  She squealed again.  "That's such a good girl."   He sat down.  Adam and Ray's son Toby was scowling so he pulled him over to cuddle too.  "Did you miss me too, Toby?"  The baby smiled and batted at Mellie.  "No, no batting at Mellie.  Some day we'll teach you both to kick butt but not each other's."  He cuddled them.  "I was a good boy," he told the watching and staring people.

"That depends on the definition," Wade said dryly.  "I'm told the Secret Service nearly panicked about hidden weapons."

"I told the guy to ask Willow how to do it," Xander said with an innocent look.

"They think she's creepy," Adam said, taking his son back, getting scowled at for it.  "You can have your uncle later.  Right now he has to change your friend."

Xander looked at Mellie's face.  "Awww, are you gifting us with your insides again?" he teased, tickling her belly.  She finished and he got up to change her, bringing her back in something different.

Speed looked.  "Why is my daughter in a belly dancer's outfit?  She's much too young."

"Because it's cute," Xander said with a grin.  "She can match the ferrets."

Horatio took her back, getting squealed at.  "You're adorable but once you're chilly we'll put you in jammies, dear."

"There weren't any in the diaper bag and she was really messy," Xander told him, shifting to make some room.  They all smiled when Toby got cuddled because he was pouting.  Toby held the end of Xander's braid to suck his thumb with, falling asleep like that.  Mellie was yawning so Xander took her back, letting her rest facing Toby so she could do the same thing.  They liked that.  He grinned.  "I'm the favorite uncle."

"Yes you are," Danny agreed.  "If you have to cut off some hair later on for some reason, you can give them each a braid to suck their thumbs with."  He looked around.  "Since he wasn't here, we ordered."  Everyone smiled at him for that.  "Fu was very happy to cancel Xander's credit line again."  Xander stuck his tongue out at him.  "Did anything get accomplished by him storming DC?"

"I didn't storm DC.  I calmly and casually pointed out the error of their thoughts and that screwing with me would be a bad thing because then I'd have to defend myself and it wasn't going to be nice."

"When did you take your seat on the High Council?" Don asked.

"Six months ago.  They made me because a lot of things were going to cause the people living on those realms problems.  So I took it, held it for all of 2 days, and picked one of Vesvold's cousins as a regent for me."  He grinned.  "He knows how I want things done and they like him.  Some day he might even get as high as Vesvold did."

"Does that make him family?" Ray asked.

"No.  Or part of the family harem."

"That's good to know," Don said.  "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I did?  It was over dinner and you both grunted at me," Xander said.

Horatio sighed.  "We can go over that later."  Both of Xander's boyfriends nodded.  He petted Xander, taking the babies to put down in the playpen by the ferret cage.  The ferrets loved the babies.  Hubert was cranky today but he would keep good watch on them.  They loved to coo at him and pat him, which he never minded.  Danny went to get the dinner from the guy pulling into the driveway.  When he came back, cartons were handed out and they settled in to discuss what Xander had done, what the inquiry was doing, and how they could help or protect themselves.  Clay handed over the emergency plans the team had made.  That helped a lot.

***

Xander looked up from his stretching to find someone staring at him.  "What?" he asked, stretching in the other direction.

"Me suddenly appearing doesn't bother you?" Smecker asked dryly.

Xander stared at him.  "I've seen demons do it better, there's guards on the gate, and the security system told me the gate opened five minutes ago.  Needed to think really hard first?" he shot back, giving him a pointed look.

"Good.  That's a better idea."  He walked over.  "I'm told that you know a few underworld figures?"

"I play poker with some.  Why?  Since, by that suit, you're an agent."

"Smartass."

Xander smirked.  "You clearly only got *part* of the file, dude.  I'm from near LA and nothing in a suit is going to scare my ass."  He stretched his arms.  "Beyond that, according to some of my contacts in New York, you're a profiler of sorts and have some of your own less than legal contacts up north."  He stared at him.  "So why are you in Miami?"

"Two things.  First, I got shown that we share a certain society membership."

Xander grinned.  "Want the dance training tapes?"

"Do you even use guns?"

"Yeah, all the time."  He smirked.  "I was in the invasion in LA.  That was my artillery."

"I heard."  He stared at him.  "The ones who were pushing that action are dead."

"Wonderful, but I didn't ask anyone.  I did tell one that I was going to destroy his whole clan if he kept pushing that idea."

Smecker stared at him.  "I know you had nothing to do with it, kid, and you're not that stupid."

Xander smiled.  "Tell them I said thank you."

"I can do that."  He stared at him.  "You have mutual contacts."

"From New York?  A few probably.  Though I've heard three have went to jail recently.   I let the local crime lab have a monthly inventory so no, they can't bum any from me."

"Good!"  He stared at him.  "Four months ago you were asking about some...unusual weapons."

"The shrapnel one or something else?"  He summoned out his laptop to look in it.  "Oh!  The grater!"  He looked up at him.  "That was mostly to get it off the street.   The local retrieval team help me with my inventory and they wanted it off the streets.  It's already gone to the crime lab.  Sorry."

Smecker smirked.  "That's good to know.  How much of yours goes?"

"That depends on what I can hide before someone finds it," he admitted with a grin.  "If we have another invasion I have enough stuff for it."

"Good."  He shifted to look around then at him.  "Really nice house."

"Thank you.  I try really hard."  He put his laptop on the outdoor table.  "I will remove things that I think are too dangerous to be out there.  They all know that though."

"Good point.  There was one of those bombs used in Boston the other day."

"I heard and I called the local office to tell them that hey had come from Illinois, probably via those mountains people go to relax in up there."

"That's good to know."  He held up the file.  "Do you know them, Harris?"

Xander took it to look at, nodding.  "He's retired in the Keys.  So it's not him.  A relative?"  He handed it back.

"Of....  We can't find his name."

"Salamat.  Let me call Cougar, he knew him when he was Army."  He texted him.  He got back some information.  "He's got three daughters."  He let him see it.  "He said his nephew did the bomb though.  He got *real* pissed when that bank foreclosed on his house for being late with a single payment."

Smecker smirked.  "Thanks, kid."

"I'm happy to help when I need to.  I'm not the mean fairy unless you make me be."  He smirked.  "The same as you are."

"I'm not that much of a fairy."

"I'm backed up so I'm flitting around today," he said happily.  He strolled off.  "Have a nice flight back and watch out for the idiot in the airport.  He's been lurking to see if he could capture someone else all day."

"The whining Japanese guy?"

"Yup."  Smecker snorted.  "If you got him, thank you.  Horatio would say the same."

"Not like I wanted him."  He walked off.  "Thank you for your cooperation."

"I don't mind cooperation but never try to use me."

"I'd never do that.  I'm told you're taken," Smecker called back.

Xander snorted.  "I didn't mean that way.  I doubt you'd like me to kill you in bed, Agent Smecker."  He stared at him, getting a shocked look back.  "I've caused more than one heart attack."  He smirked and spun, going back to his stretching.  "Happy flight."

Smecker got into his car and drove off.  He did not want to know how the kid had done that.  Nor did he want to take lessons because it would lessen the traffic in his bed.

Xander snickered, writing someone else a text message.   It was so nice that he had been pleasant today.  He hoped he hadn't scared the poor agent.

***

Smecker looked at the three men he had come back to Boston to meet with.  They were in some flophouse, basically right above something condemned.  He handed over a file.  "If you see this guy, you walk away.  He's not a thug, not in the business.  Not really in the underworld at all; he just plays poker with them, takes their weapons, and then hoards them."

"Saw him before," one of the twins said, looking up.  "Some convention.  Long hair, clothes that were too impractical to be anything other than fun.  Sword."

"That just makes it worse," Smecker said dryly.

"Why not him?" the father asked.  "Seems to be in the life."

Smecker shook his head quickly.  "He plays poker with them.  He's a weapons collector but he's not on their side.  He's confiscated stuff to hand over to the crime lab in Miami and a few agents."  He leaned against a wall.  "There's about seven contracts to get him taken or killed."

The other twin said something in Gaelic but his father swatted him for it.  "It says he is," he defended.

"Two boyfriends, both cops," Smecker said with a smug look.  "And they can't do it on their own."

"I wonder if he's like your cousin Eileen," the father said.  Smecker held up the brochure, nodding.  "That's them."

"He's the highest they can go.  All the thugs in Miami will protect the kid because of how decent he is.  Most of the cops too.   Even the gay bashers will probably protect him.   He plays with the top people in the mafia families, retired agents and spooks, and the lower level gang thugs."  They all looked impressed at that.  "But I've heard that some people *really* would like you guys to focus on him.  Especially after they thought they had killed him a few years ago.  It just pissed him off because it messed with his hair.  He helped the crime lab raid the poker circuit.  They cleared out whole watch lists."  All three winced.

"So they'd like us to, but he's still a good boy," the father said.

"Basically, though very naughty.  He said he's nearly killed a few people in bed."  He shrugged.  "I don't know how.  It took me blowing ten favors and two senior agents to get his *full* file."  He held it up.  It was a mass of black ink.  "Remember all those agents in DC that went down recently?"  They nodded.  "They were fucking with him.  If someone tried to get you guys to do the same thing, we'd miss you horribly."

Xander appeared with a sigh.  "Technically...."  They all pulled guns but he shrugged.  "Yay."  He looked at Smecker.  "You getting that worried a shitload of people.  Not only the deputy director that lords over the FBI office in DC, but others.  The retired goon spook that runs the underground here in Boston got worried for you and just called me directly to warn you that there's people who'd love to keep me and you have the information they want."  Smecker set it on fire.

"Thanks," he said with a grin.  He handed over a bag.  "From the society.  The *best* chocolate ever.  Even mundanes and normals moan at it.  An allergy free lube and condom from a tiny company that does *excellent* work.  Everyone got some of their samples at the last convention.  And three of the dance tapes in case so you can see if you want to expand your self defense that way.  Because *your* file was hacked and it wasn't Hotchner.  He didn't put anything in the system about you.  Garcia said it was Fornell's minion of stupid, the same one you blew to get my file."

"So they know?"

"They knew before.  It was unofficially noted three years ago.  It was officially noted earlier today when you went looking for me.  There's only a few reasons why people go looking for me.  You're not demonic or having problems in that manner."

"Demonic?" the father demanded.  Xander said something in Latin, making all three shiver.  "I grew up there."  He grinned.  "Hunted with a slayer for a while until she became a bitch."  He looked at Smecker.  "You don't have the sword problem that some of us do, in and out of the society."

"You know that fucking asshole Macleod," he sneered.

"Yeah Connor tried to sell me to a battle ring run by demons."  He smirked.  "I'm going to kill Duncan  some year just to make sure there's no more of them.  He broke into my house once, peed on my leather pants, threw money, jewels, and sex toys out the window, and this was while we were in Manhattan."

Smecker shuddered.  "Damn, he was insane."

"Yup.  I don't want to take that chance."  He stared at him.  "They figured it out since you don't have the other two reasons and you're not working on a case that would involve me.  So that means someone arranged to slip the information to me, which got back to Hotchner, which meant he went to warn all the hidden ones....."

"Who would do that?" the father demanded.  "That endangers agents' lives."

"The same putzes who wanted to keep us all as slaves," Smecker said bluntly, staring at the kid, who nodded.  "How did you get up here?"

"Magic, the same way I'm hiding weapons."  He smirked.  "It comes in handy when it's usually demons who want to own your ass."  He stared at him.  "Outing you guys wouldn't get them much useable capitol, which means I'm not sure why they outed you and the others.  No one's telling me anything but there's been a few pitying looks."

"They're pulling what that bitch did," Smecker said.

"Most likely," Xander agreed.  "Or they *really* wanted to know so they could suitably corral all of you in jobs where you'd be of use but not in danger.  The CIA did that and confined them all to supervising and backup status.  Is the FBI that nice?"

"No," Smecker said.  "They're going to try to use us.  Who knows that much about people?"

"A former profiler," Xander said with a grin.  "Who just happens to be your current director."

"Shit," Smecker said dryly.  "You sure?"

"He's where I'd put my bet, and if not he knew.  He trained Hotchner so he'd know how he would react to the news of that bill.   Aaron wouldn't let anyone suffer."

"He told me he wouldn't let Spenser Reid do it."

"Spenser was part of the original agents that got told about the society.  He showed up at the New York convention a bit ago."  He smiled.  "My baby dragon loves him."

"I don't need to know about your sex life," one of the twins complained.  Xander pulled out a picture to show him.  "That's a lizard."

"He's a baby dragon, I got him off realm."  He put the picture back.  "He loves him, Abby, Garcia, and Charlie Epps out in LA."

"Related to Don probably," Smecker said.  Xander nodded.  "What is up with Texas?"

"The state and the society got a huge ass retrieval team for the state's members.  Half the idiots recently hated that there were gay people.  The other half just wanted to own someone.  Apparently they think we'd be docile fun."

"No, I don't think you would," Smecker said dryly.

Xander smirked.  "I've destroyed whole realms for people kidnaping me," he said dryly.  He looked at the twins.  "If you *ever* hear of *anyone* wondering about this topic, especially about him, they're halfway on their way to kidnaping him as a sex slave.  Which isn't all that fun."  He shifted his weight, staring at them.  "If they talk about others, we all disappear."  They nodded they understood.

"One of my nieces was like you," the father said.

Xander grinned.  "Wonderful.  Did she get the updated allergy sheet?  Our research chemist really upgraded the list."

"They can have mine.  I don't do new age crap," Smecker said dryly.

"Watch out for barbeque rubs.  A few have been in there and salad dressings."  Smecker moaned, shaking his head.  "Oh, yeah."  He smiled.  "This way you're warned, your backup is warned, because they'd probably hear first, and if you hear please tell someone."  He held up a card.  "The national head of our retrieval teams.  The local one in Boston is living by MIT."

He flipped it over.  "Their number."  He handed it to Smecker.  "That way you're covered in either city.  Carry more hidden weapons.  There's no telling if he gave information on you guys or not.  If so, you're in danger.  Even up here.  If not, I'd have someone find it and destroy it.  Half of them already know about me because I've taken myself back a lot.  They know about Gibbs' guys for the same reason.  We're not useable for that."

Smecker nodded.  "I'll keep that in mind and listen for that info.  Thanks, kid."

"Welcome."  He grinned.  "The website has convention details.  It's a weekend, next time it's in Dallas.  It's all sorts of fun, we have nice seminars on money management and self defense.  I teach the dance self-defense classes.  Tony does the other stuff."  He winked and disappeared.

"The fuck," one of the twins said, staring at the empty spot.  They checked, he wasn't there.  "How in the hell?"

"The kid's from the worst town for those sort of things," their father said.  "It wouldn't surprise me if he did learn it to protect himself."  Smecker nodded, looking at what they had so far.  "We'll keep an ear on those sort to make sure you don't end up somewhere foreign," the father told the agent.

"Thanks.  If I find that douche sold us out for that reason I'm going to kill his ass myself."  He looked at the twins.  "This changes nothing."

"Shouldn't, we're not going to fuck you," one said with a grin.

"Not enough breasts."

"My boys do not do that," their father ordered dryly.

Smecker snorted and walked off.  He had some assholes to deal with.  He watched the first video that night while making plans and stared, whimpering slightly.  "What the hell is that!" he shouted.  "Besides like exercise porn!"  He kept going.  It was damn good porn.  He seriously needed to get laid now.  The others were worse.  He copied them and sent them to the twins to watch.  Their father would freak out but the twins needed something to make them blush and pray again.

***

Xander appeared in the office of the BAU, staring at Hotchner.  "We know they used you," he said when he heard the sigh.  "I warned the one I knew you told."

"I have no idea who...."

Xander held up a hand.  "The frontrunner in the betting pool is your teacher."  Hotchner stared at him.  "The same as Sheppard did."

"I'll kill him."

"You might have a line to get through first," Xander admitted.  "Which I'm in the front of."  He stared at him, then the others, then back at him.  "It's not your fault.  He played you.  We all know he played you."

"I still feel responsible."

Xander gave him a hug.  "That means you're still a good guy."  He grinned at him.  "Dallas this coming year."  He disappeared.

"Now we know where the convention is," Hotchner decided.  "Figure out who used us."  They nodded, getting into that task.  Gibbs' team was helping too.   Someone somewhere was going to be very sorry.  There were hundreds of less visible, lower level GHS that were in danger and they were all rabid in their own defense.  Not to mention what their keepers would do.

***

Horatio looked up when someone walked up to him with an envelope.  "Are you being demoted to messenger?" he joked with a smile.

The senior guard in the Don of Miami's grouping stared at him.  "I wish.  I might get to miss the carnage."  He handed it over.  "The idiot who planned to out and therefore use the lower level GHS is in deep.  I'm not going to go near Adam because he's almost as scary as Xander is with a sword, plus I'm told the baby has colic so he's not sleeping.  They're presently on a plane on their way down here."

"Where is Xander?" Horatio asked calmly.

"No one's quite sure if he's riding at the farm or not right now.  We can't find him.  Which is scaring the shit out of my boss, Caine.  Xander's apparently pissed on behalf of the thousands of people that nearly got hurt by this."

Horatio nodded.  "We've tried to calm him down."

"I don't think you'll manage it.  Even Wade's hiding in his bunker.  He pulled Anya, all her sex toys, ordered a bunch of survival supplies and lube, then locked them in there.  Jensen just said 'yeah, he'll handle it' and left it there.  Clay wasn't sure why we're worried so clearly someone forgot to brief him?"

"We tried," Speed said, walking up to them.  "Problem?"

"The guy that started that plot is on his way down here," Horatio said, reading the letter.  He grimaced.  "Do not bring it to Miami," he warned.

"Sure, we can let Xander blow up that plane," he offered.

"I'd rather he didn't."

"Us too.  He might get mad at himself and pout."  They shared a look.   "As Smokey the Bear says, only you can prevent fires."  He walked off.

"I'll have a talk with him," Horatio agreed, calling Xander.  "Come see me right now please.  And if you're on the way to the airport, do not even consider it."  He smiled at Speed.  "He's at the farm."

"No, we want him here.  It's safer here and his weapons aren't here."  He walked off with the letter to call Adam.  And then to call Fu to have him send someone to Clay to brief him about why Xander was being considered scarier than those flying monkeys right now.

Horatio sighed, waiting on Xander.  It was going to be a long day.  Especially since that idiot managed to not be killed at the airport and came to him, personally, for protection.

Xander walked up behind him and stabbed him with a hairpin.  The guy shrieked and fell down shaking.  Xander stared at him.  "You tried to have hundreds of people kidnaped, raped for years on end, and then eventually killed."  He stared at him.  "I'm one of Miami's protectors.  You do realize this?"  The man was whimpering.  "You used someone who is a very good, protective guy.  You used friends of mine actually.  If you manage to make it out of Miami, I'd suggest a monastery or suicide.  They *might* save you from us."

"Xander, you may not harm him in the station," Horatio said.

Xander plucked the bag from the guy's briefcase, holding up the bomb.  "Yes I can."

Horatio took it to disarm.  "Thank you for that.  How?"

"He paused to build it from what they told me."  He looked down at the man.  "Frank?" he called, bringing him running.  "He carried a bomb into this police station, an armed one, and talked to Horatio.  He was apparently going to save himself from my asskicking that way."

Frank swallowed.  "Is he the guy that outed all them?" he asked.

"He's the one that set the plan in motion."

"Sure, he's a suicide risk," he decided.  Horatio held up the now disarmed bomb.  "A suicide bomber?  Interesting."  He hauled him up, making him scream.  "How did you disarm him?" he asked the kid.  Xander wiped off the hairpin and stuck it back in his hair.  "Oh."  He nodded, taking him off to the block doc first.

Xander looked at Horatio.  "So, how was your morning?" he asked with a grin.  "Should I order lunch?"

"Lunch would be appreciated.  Is Hotchner all right?"

"Pissed as hell that the guy used him that way."  He smirked.  "That's a minion by the way."  He held up an email.  "Tony said I am not allowed in DC until they clear that all up."

"That's probably a very good idea," Horatio said, walking him off.  He took that letter to read, nodding at the reasonable orders it contained.  "I agree."  Xander pouted.  "Let the ones he threatened do it, Xander.   While people would miss you and Tony faster, they deserve the right to protest being used the same way."

"Fine."

"Thank you."  He put him into his office and let him order them lunch while he warned the family group.  Adam was already livid.  He was in that scary mental place again.  Toby, of course, loved him for it.  Toby got brought to Xander, because he couldn't do anything with the baby.  They could let Ray talk Adam down during lunch.

***

Tony DiNozzo looked across the agents being arrested, smirking at them.  "Did you think Xander was the only one in the society who could fight back, guys?"  They all glared at him.  "I do teach the self-defense classes with Gibbs' help now."

"And, ya know, Xander trained me personally," Greg added as he walked past them.  "Pity for all of you."  The FBI agents arresting them all stared at him.  "I was Xander's trouble buddy for a few years."

"He even learned the sword stuff," Tony agreed with a grin.  They shivered.  Greg laughed.  "Without the same reason he had, no."  Tony walked Greg off.  "Boss, we deserve a really great lunch for this," he said when he walked past Gibbs and Vance.

"I say we get the really good chocolates out," Greg said with a grin.

"Not a chance in hell," Gibbs ordered.  "Real food, Sanders.  Chocolate is for after work."  Mostly because he didn't want to hear them moan about it.

Vance looked at Gibbs.  "That's a bit harsh."  Tony handed him one of the wrapped squares they had.  Vance moaned at the flavor.  "My wife would love that."

"There's a shop in Vegas," Greg said with a grin.  Vance nodded, taking down the address for his later wife-spoiling moments.  Greg and Tony got a really great lunch on the way back to the office.  Gibbs had them GPS'd and there was an agent subtly following them today as well.  So that worked well.

Tony was even nice enough to bring Gibbs something to eat while they all plowed through the massive reports needed.

***

Xander smiled at the head board for GHS he was letting into Adam's house.  "Hi, guys.  He's in the shower.  Toby just puked on him.  I'm picking up the baby for a few hours."  They smiled.

"It's good that you're open enough to draw attention from the rest of the group," one of them said with a French accent.

Xander looked at him.  "That wasn't really my doing.  That was more me having to rescue myself and things.  Then others heard, whispered it in fear....."  He shrugged.  "But if it helps I'm all for it.  After all, that's how I find out about these amusing things.  The poker buddies know if there's someone in town looking for one of us that telling me gets them amusement."  He picked up Toby's carrier.  "C'mon, little guy.  We're going to go pot shopping because Uncle Xander had to throw one at a stupid idiot who tried to break in last night."  The baby squealed.  He grinned.  "You picked that up from Mellie, I know you did," he teased.  "Adam, they're here.  We're going pot shopping."

"Do not take my son to a poker game," Adam said as he walked out drying his hair off.  "My precious son decided to throw up in my hair."  They all smiled.  Xander left.  He sat down, getting comfortable.  "The reports on what happened and why."  He handed them over.

They read them and the European head looked at him.  "Does Xander be so open about others?"

"No.  Xander's not actually told anyone anything about the group.  Other people talk about Xander, and then the rumors grow when he has to rescue himself and stop people who want him.  Then there's that benign tumor that caused him to backlog.  Which is how half of the city's underground found out.  Xander doesn't deny it most of the time if directly asked by someone with a clue but he's never went on television or anything.  He has threatened to hormone some people, like whoever captures him.  He has had one moment of frustration that let him blow it all out at someone gaybashing him.  Of course, that helped since we were in a crime wave and his boys are both officers."

The Asian head shook his head.  "They mostly assumed based on mannerisms, how he's slightly backed up most of the time, and people capturing him?"

Adam nodded with a faint smile.  "Every now and then he'll mention having fun at a convention but not what the convention was for.  Even when he had Steven Ellison going to warn parts of Cascade's underground not to bother the convention they sent Steven as a representative of Xander, not of the group.  Xander has always made odd little connections in strange places, usually by being bored.  Poker games, weapons contacts...."  They all moaned.  "It has helped a lot and those who assumed before now know enough not to come near us.  It has also benefitted the group greatly as he's helped our retrieval teams get stronger and have more contacts.  Plus those who would want one of us do have to consider how hard we might fight back since he's destroyed a lot of people for wanting him."

"I do like that," the Asian head agreed.  "You let him babysit?"

"Xander adores my son, and his mentor's daughter.  Horatio adopted as well."  They smiled.  Horatio had been a regional liaison to the European group a long time ago but they all remembered him.  "He spoils them horribly, even though he does have this bad habit of taking them to poker games so the underground knows what they look like.  No one of them would ever *dare* touch my son because they know that Xander would destroy them.  And truthfully, with how loud Xander is about things when they happen, it lets others hide in the shadows easier."

"I still don't like that US agents know," the European head complained.

"That wasn't Xander.  That was Tony DiNozzo.  He's an agent himself and got gifted by a terrorist."  They all winced.  "His boss was not pleased, no.  Tony had helped with something Xander going on before then; his team leader Gibbs put it together and had a fit from what I'm told.  That was about the same time as Xander had to take down a demonic slave market in LA."

"Even we heard about that mess," the South American head admitted.   Adam shuddered.  "All of us know about the more...special members."  Adam nodded he knew they did.  "You tend to drift in and out of the society."

"I do spend some time on holy ground now and then."

"How will that one hide himself?"

"They're going to Denver at first.  Then I'm not totally sure.  He hasn't decided yet but he has learned illusions.  It's how those of us in his family grouping have kept from looking quite a bit too young."  They smiled at him.  "It's helped add years to many an identity."

"That's helpful," they agreed.  "Will he phase in and out?"

"I think if he has to truly leave he'll take up a protected position and live like the level ten he is," Adam admitted.  "Somewhere.  Thanks to Connor and Duncan, a lot more than should know about us do.  One of them stupidly attacked Xander during a convention in New York so the agents saw it."  They all winced.  "So that's went from a hidden secret to a slightly less hidden secret.  It wasn't Xander's fault.  The idiot Inspector attacked him and Xander couldn't really get away from it without causing more of a problem."

"Things like that happen around Xander," the European head sighed.

"Yes they do," Adam agreed dryly.  "Then again, it has let the *special* ones come a bit more open in certain areas.  Which caused a lot fewer problems due to challenges.  It lets the Watchers move more openly to gather bodies and the like.  Only one's gotten blamed on us that we didn't do and that was in New York."

"The ones in Paris are getting antsy again.  There's been more than a few challenges," the European head noted.

"That's because they're packed like sardines," Adam said dryly with a smirk for him.  "Only New York has an equitable number and there's one on every corner up there."

"Good point.  We do wish they'd leave the city.  The police seem to think they're an evil underground of their own."

"Only some of them."  He put his feet up.  "Some of them you'd never know."

"Good point."  They went over the current state of the society all over the world, went over what the US needed to do to stay strong in the recent attacks, and a few even helped Adam with plans for his special, troubled charges.  They had to have better plans because someone like Xander didn't just *fade* into the woodwork for twenty years.  He might go to a foreign GHS society though.

***

Adam sat down at the poker table three hours later, taking his son from Xander.  "Didn't I say no poker?"

"We invited him," the dealer said with a grin.  "There's a new weapons dealer, Adam.  Are you playing?"

"No, I came to make sure my son didn't want to learn how to play some day."  They all laughed.  "He's much too young to be here."

Xander shrugged.  "I tried to tell them tomorrow because I had him."

"Fine."  He looked at him.  "The international council had a few thoughts they wanted to go over with you about your long-term plans."

Xander grinned.  "After Denver plans?"  Adam nodded.  "There's the island option.  There's a compound option.  There's a castle in Spain option."

"A castle in Spain?" he asked dryly.

"Yeah.  Don said Spain was pretty."

"It is very pretty," Adam agreed, making the others snicker.

"There's the same compound option over there."

"Are we thinking ahead to that in case it becomes necessary?"

"Yup.  But hell, I can go to any major city and get lost.  I could do that in Denver."

"That is a good point, yes.  As long as you weren't part of the underground there."

Xander nodded.  "I'd be really bored so we'd have to fix that problem, but yeah, anywhere big enough that people ignore their neighbors, I could get totally lost.  Get a huge place for us and the horses.  The extended family's homes."

"There's a nice estate for sale up by Boston," one of the other guys said.

"He's talking a lot of space.  Enough to have areas to ride in," Adam told him.  "A true estate like you'd see in the old countries."

"This one's about sixty acres."

"I'd have to add on," Xander said.  "The house, salle, and family's houses would take up about five.  Plus I'd want a pond or a stream.  A place for the horses.  Trees.  Definitely productive trees and some garden area."  They all smiled.  They had heard Xander bragging about his orchard more than once.

"If you wanted to stay in the south there's that one huge one that needs remodeled in upper Georgia," the dealer said.

"Atlanta hates us," Xander said.  "They kept stabbing my clothes and things when we went up due to a hurricane."  They all grimaced.  "But that might be nice to see.  How big?"

"Over a hundred acres.  A pond.  Stone walls around it."  Xander nodded that sounded nice.

"I know of that place.  The houses are in bad condition and would need a ton of work," Adam told him.  "I know someone who looked at it a while ago."  Toby babbled at the cards, letting Xander hand him a chip to gum on.  "Xander!"

"It's cleaned off, we clean them after every game," the dealer said with a grin.  "Besides, Xander's held all those chips since the beginning.  All the ones he's winning are in the front."

"Yes, but that's giving him expensive tastes," Adam said, changing it for a lower denomination chip.  Toby was happy with that since Daddy had given it to him.

Xander grinned at Toby.  "You're so comfy looking."

"Well, my lap is comfortable," Adam quipped.

"You give a good cuddle too," Xander assured him with a grin.  He finished his game and cashed out.  "Let's get the baby home."

"Did we already talk to the person you needed to?" Adam sighed.

"Yeah, about an hour ago.  That's why I was playing one last hand for ice cream money."  Jensen strolled in and Toby waved, beaming at him.  "Yup, it's Uncle Jensen, very good, Toby."

"Such a little genius in the making," Jensen cooed, taking him to cuddle.  "You're so smart."  Toby patted him and cuddled.  "Good little man."

"He's been an excellent boy today," Xander agreed with a grin.  Jensen grinned back.  Adam sighed but took his son back so they could leave together.  Xander grinned at Jensen.  "What's up?"

"They wanted you to quit scaring the arms dealer."

"Figures," Adam muttered.  Xander pinched him, earning a dirty look.  "Just for that, sit down with him and find that compound."

"Yup, we can do that."  He looked at Jensen.  "He wants me to have a hiding spot sort of compound like most level tens."

"Don't you already have ..."  He waved his hands.  "The vacation homes?"

"Yup."

Adam looked at Xander.  "What vacation homes?" he demanded.

Xander grinned.  "If the family ever took vacations, we could go."  He walked around his corvette to get in.  "Put the baby seat behind yours, Jensen."

"I'll meet you at home," Adam said dryly, heading for his own car.  Xander and Jensen shared a grin.  That had been Jensen's idea in case they had to evacuate quickly.  They had planned four properties together.  All in very nice places, for the most part.  Two were being fixed up.  Xander drove Jensen off to get ice cream first, knowing Adam was going to talk to Steve, who had no idea beyond that it was emergency contingency plans that he had to pay land taxes on.  Xander had set up a renovation fund and his construction company was doing *really* well.  Steve gave him dirty looks for it but otherwise he was of the 'if I know I have to tell someone' theory recently.

***

Adam walked into the break room, where the family had gathered.  Toby was in a stomach snuggler, squealing at everyone and beaming happily at his daddy since Ray had followed.  "We have new emergency plans in place," he said, shutting the door.  He handed Horatio the slip.  "For when lunch gets here."

"You're taking to Xander's spoiling times?" Danny teased, taking the baby to hold.  Anytime Xander was around, no one else got the babies.  It was his turn.  "Hey, snookums."

"Only feeding you."  He sat down, pulling a list out of his pocket.  "Jensen and Xander have been plotting."

"Are we broke?" Don asked dryly, smiling and waving at the baby.

"Not by a long shot."  He looked at Horatio, who was smirking, then at the boys.  "He has planned for the *entire* family to be joined together."  They all nodded that sounded like Xander.  "Including the horses."

"Did he buy a plantation?" Ryan asked.  "I know he was muttering about one but it was too well known."

"No, he basically made his own," Adam said dryly.  "One in Mexico, one in Denver, one in Canada, and one in Northern Italy."  They all sighed.  "Three outside the country in case he had to leave suddenly and your next one."  He put the list down.  "The one in Denver houses seven houses and the farm in one large compound."

Horatio took it to look over.  "Redesigned?"

"Rebuilt.  He said the old house there was a wrecked monstrosity of semi-Tudor bad taste.  This one is halfway between a cottage and a traditional Japanese house."  They all stared at him.  He held up a hand.  "He has pictures and we do have the right to visit.  The one in Mexico is about the same but more land.  It's right on the Gulf."  They all smirked.  "The one in Canada is close to Vancouver.  The one in Northern Italy is a mountain.  I think it may be most of the mountain.  Again, guest houses within the compound for family and temporary uses both.  Stables, land to roam.  Walls.  Gates...."  He waved a hand.  "Daniel, don't stick your fingers in his mouth.  I have no idea where they've been."

"They got washed before I came in," he assured him.  "No glove residue or anything."  He looked up.  "What about locally?"

"The farm," Adam said dryly.  They all nodded at that.  "Jensen had tried to talk him into an equestrian event and training farm in California but Xander wanted very unknown properties, thankfully."

"Then again, Xander doesn't ride for show," Danny quipped back.

"If he wanted to he might be able to but none of his are that sort of horse.  Neither are Ryan's."  He took his son back.   "By the way, the new arms dealer in town is already in awe of him but he's scared that he babysits," he told Horatio.

"Figures," he muttered.  "Is he planning on taking us all with him?"

"I believe it was a 'in case the family wants to come' or we needed it to house emergency people."  They all nodded.  "Steve is not totally sure what Xander has planned or why he's planning."  Danny and Don both whimpered.  "Though he is amused that the other businesses are doing so well.  Especially the real estate company that's related to the construction company.  He had them overseeing the work the local contractors did on the other places.  Most of them aren't *estates*, they're larger than average houses on a lot of fertile land that can house trees and a working farm of grandiose proportions."  Ray tried to steal the baby but he scowled.  "Xander had him during the meeting."

"So?  I had a bad case."  He stole Toby, getting a baby smile and a pat.  His son laid on his shoulder, getting comfy.  "You know who loves you," he cooed.

"We all do," Adam reminded him.

"You get 'im all day most of the time," Ray pointed out.

"Good point.  We can switch roles next life so you can stay home with him while I work all day."  He looked at Horatio.  "Jensen gave him a lot of ideas about areas to look at.  Xander basically just bought adjoining farms in some of them.  The one in Italy used to be some sort of estate I believe."

"Vineyard?" Don asked.

"No, not that I'm aware of, or that Xander is aware of."

"Sounds like our next few trips are set," Danny said, looking at Don, who nodded.  "Does Wade know?"

"I have the feeling Anya helped him pick out paint colors," Adam said dryly.  "She came in to complain that Xander had strange tastes in her kitchen since he had it repainted on them while they were out of town torturing for someone recently."

"Wade could help more with the management stuff," Danny said.

"He's not that sort of minion according to her."  Adam got comfortable.  "Beyond that, I'm not sure what Xander was thinking this time.  I believe it was about two years worth of poker playing though.  And I do know that he's selling a few of the apartments and houses he's renovated in town shortly.  They had three projects they've completed and they're going up for sale soon."

"Real estate is down," Don said, considering it.

"These are functional, good family homes," Horatio said.  "Like the one you guys sheltered in.  He keeps them at a reasonable price.  He doesn't lose money on them.  He makes sure the crew gets a small percentage of the sale so they keep the work quality high."  They all smiled.  "His construction head's sister is the real estate agent and they've sold ten houses?" he asked Adam.

"Four sold, another five in closing soon."  They all stared.  Adam nodded.  "Plus they have remodeling jobs on the side.  Xander going into partnership with them helped them a lot.  It also lets them hire some of the local students to train better.  Which they seem to like."  They all smiled.  "They're going onto remodeling jobs for other people in the next few months.  Xander tends to schedule things so that they have houses right after hurricane season."  They all smirked, that was ballsy of Xander but probably helpful with so many houses having to be repaired or torn down.  "Steve also said that Xander is considering an apartment building to buy and turn condo."

"No," Danny said.  "Not likely.  That'd drive Steve nuts."

"It'd drive me nuts since I'm supposed to go to his spot in the family when I change lives," Ryan admitted.

"Yeah, the plan was we'd go to the farm, you'd take Steve's place.  Steve would go work with Jace or someone for a bit," Danny said.  "Adam and Ray would go to college and be geeks for a bit."  Ray smirked at him for that.  "And Eric would do whatever."  They all nodded.  "That would probably be about the same time Horatio and Speed retired so they could join us or whatever."

"Does he always make all these plans?" Frank asked.

"Xander's motto about this is 'plan for centuries, expect years'," Ryan said.  They all nodded they understood that.  "Does anyone, even Steve, know all that Xander does?"

"No," Adam said.  "Which I think may be a problem since he's confused about where he's crossing what he's already done."

"Well, we'd expect the Bobbsy Twins, Dean and Sam, to join us probably," Don said.  "Cougar and Jensen too."  Danny nodded at that.  "How many guest or other family homes?"

"Seventeen total.  Italy only has two guest houses and a guest apartment over the garage.  Mexico has smaller guest cottages, four of them.  Denver has five smaller houses and the main house, plus the barn areas and a garage.  Canada's has five as well, and the one at the farm in the woods."

"Are we seeing any problems from the locals thinking that it's for a cult or something?" Don asked.

"No, not so far.  They've all been registered as multi-family estates basically.  What the old countries would do with family estates.  The one in Denver is getting landscaping.  The others haven't yet."

"Beyond trees?" Frank quipped with a grin.

"Oh, yes.  They all have trees.  They all have water at least on the property.  The one in Italy is on a pond.  The one in Canada is on a small lake."  They all nodded.  "There's room there for helicopter service if you wanted it.  Each is set up as an emergency residence to escape to but set up for longer residency needs.  Including a housekeeper at each one to keep things clean, working, and stable."  They all nodded.  "And they all have stable space."  Ryan grinned.

"The last time I heard, the timetable for Denver was about five years," Danny said, looking at Don, who nodded.

"Barring one of us getting shot on the job," Don agreed.

"Why?" Frank asked.

"Because Xander's going to be twenty-six this year," Danny told him.  "I'm going to be thirty-eight."  Frank winced.  "Even with illusions and all of Xander's spa time, it's going to be at the point we're looking too young then."

"Can't stay young and pretty forever," Don sighed.  "If one of us was notably killed on the job, they'd go to Denver to evacuate the area and the rest of the family would join them in a few years."

"It'd also give Xander a way to quit overloading Miami's banks," Ray said dryly, looking at Adam.

"Most of mine's still overseas.  Though I found out earlier that an old friend's estate is being lived in by a GHS member in Italy.  Beautiful ancient Roman estate."

Ray kissed him and handed back the baby.  "Maybe some year we'll go back to the ancient stuff."

Adam smiled.  "Maybe my next degree will be in archeology."

"Could be," Ray agreed with a grin.  They shared another kiss.  "Let me get back to the case of the damned souls on my desk."  Adam gave him an odd look.  "Marked with crosses and everything.  Not like that federal case, but it looks like a monk did it."  He left shaking his head.  Toby cried so he went back to cuddle him.  "Let daddy finish working, Toby.  I'll be home soon and we'll have nummies."  Toby was still fussing.  "Fine, have daddy come help me by translating Latin."  He carried the baby off.  Adam followed shaking his head.  That broke up the meeting.  Horatio got their dinner sent up and made sure Ray had enough for all three of them.  There was some soup so Toby could share with them.

***

Clay and Wade stared at Xander when he came out of the bedroom.  They had been called by Jensen.  "Clothes?" Wade asked dryly.

"I'm at home," Xander complained.  "And I am dressed."  He looked at himself then at Wade.  "What?"

"Real pants that aren't see through?" Clay suggested with a smirk.

"Can't."  Xander turned to let them see the bite mark.  "Hubert's a bit grumpy today."  He sat down.

"We've called this meeting to go over the emergency plans that Xander and I have made," Jensen told them.  "So we all know where and what they are."

"Adam's off narking to the rest of the family," Xander said.  "Basic information that they can hold.  For you two we have the more in-depth stuff, including addresses."

"Also the updated real estate schedule," Jensen said, waving it.  "That way you know what's being sold and what someone's broken into."

"We have more plans than the house in the woods at the farm?" Clay asked.

"The current plan was to go there if someone died or they had to switch lives and then sneak off to Denver within a few years," Wade told him.

Xander nodded.  "We have the house out there set up.  We also have three international houses set up in case we have to leave the country, like if they had passed that bill."

"So we have real plans," Wade said.

"Everyone forgets that he was battle planner in Sunnydale," Jensen said dryly.  "Even I've done that."

"He actually tried to take a challenge for me the other day," Xander said dryly, smirking at Jensen.

"He was a commando and dangerous."  Xander and Clay both gave him dirty looks.  "I know, I remembered when Xander beat my ass as a warmup to the challenge."

"I did the same thing," Wade said.  Xander smirked and nodded at him.  "We see you in the goofy, backed up, wiggling state so often we forget you're just a growl away from dropping it and going into warrior mode."

"Which I'd have to do more often if you didn't scare the piss out of everyone, Wade," Xander quipped, punching him on the shoulder.  "The new arms dealer in town was giving me scared looks because I had Toby for a poker game he demanded I show up at."

"Are the weapons moving?" Clay asked.

"Not unless we do," Xander told him.  He got the real estate list. "Okay, this is not the storage area.  It's the storage area next to it."  He let them see.  "These are the last houses we flipped, they're all going up this week.  The guys have non-Xander related work coming up."  They all nodded, going over those.  The security company had them down as alternate contacts if someone broke in so they had to know.  That moved to the emergency relocation plans.  Wade and Clay figured out how to sneak someone out of town without even the local underground knowing.  Jensen had the files on all the houses, including the upgrades at the farm, for them to go over.  That way they could make any plans that still had to happen.

Wade looked over the Denver ones.  "Which one's mine?"  Xander pointed with a grin.  "That'll work."  He was on the edge of the property, a bit away from the house so the kids wouldn't bounce around their place by accident.  "The chuckle twins?"

"Dean and Sam can have either of these two," he said with a point at the houses by the salle and practice area.  "That'll have some of the weapons storage underneath it."

"Each house also has an armory closet," Jensen told them.  "Cougar and I talked and we like the one over the garage.  It'll give him a rooftop to sit on when he wants to and me a lot of great views, plus that really nice porch area to write code from.  Though my next life is either going to be in weapons design or jewelry."

"You're free to get practice by fondling the stones we keep for emergencies," Xander quipped.

"Why Denver?" Clay asked.  "That seems a bit odd."

"It's more than big enough to get lost in.  The guys won't miss the city life," Xander said.  "It's got a lot of safety; almost no GHS or immies there.  No earthquakes.  It's got a lot of very good agents in case something does happen or something comes for one of us in that special way that's not GHS or immie related."

"If he went somewhere like LA they wouldn't be able to fade into the shadows and disappear," Wade said.

"I get that part but I'd expect a smaller city."

"Don and Danny are both born and bred New Yorkers.  They'll miss snow by then too."  He grinned.  "I kinda miss winter myself sometimes.  Denver's got the population and the features without the mess that the east coast cities have.  It was there or somewhere like Seattle.  I don't think I could do grunge and so much of an art scene."

"It's got good airport coverage for emergency leave takings," Wade said.  "You guys can get lost in the mountains if you had to for a few short days."  Xander nodded with a grin.  "Are we thinking ahead to jobs?"

"Good colleges and if Danny or Don wasn't shot on the job they have the various PD's, agencies, and other groups to look at if they want to.  Including a lab that could use some help.  Or hey, that special project is only an hour away," he added as an afterthought.

"Good point," Clay said.  "Though they seem to be brain warping."

"Well, yeah," Jensen said with a grin.  "They also have a few immies there at the moment so we could get with them if me or Cougs wanted to stay military.  Or if Dean or Sam wanted to join up next life.  It'd be closer to what Xander did instead of hunting but plenty of the same skills."

"Okay, so here, rotate to one of the foreign ones after that?" Wade suggested.  "That way you're totally out of the US for a life?"

"Yeah, and they're all large enough that if it's me that has to hide I can act like a normal level ten."

"They're all over a hundred acres," Clay said.  "Plenty of room to roam.  Italy looks like it's the smallest."

"It is," Xander assured him.  "But it's on a mountainside."  They nodded that was practical.  "I've also arranged to put ATV's there for the housekeeper and two guards to use."

"Cougar and I helped him look over those.  We went with a company that only hires former military, with an emphasis on Special Forces."  They smirked at him for that.  "That way if Xander suddenly has to pop in, they know how to handle things.  They have worked with GHS before.  A few did some work on one of the earlier retrieval teams and *knows* about the immie problem as well.  He's second-in-command at the company and we only deal with him about the properties."

"Army?" Clay asked.

"Brit.  Former Para."

"Decent enough probably," Clay decided.

"The Mexico house is far away from the west coast drug violence going on," Xander said.  "It's near a tourist area.  I figured that'd make it a bit safer and give us more things to do."

"You actually bought one of Max's old properties," Wade said with a grin for him.

"And then the six around it to add to it," Xander quipped back.  "The house he had there was a piece of crap though.  We ripped it down completely."

"Good.  It was a piece of eurotrash crap."

"The one in Denver was a pseudo-Tudor style that had delusions of style."  He showed him the pictures.  "I went with 'fits into the surroundings' but also added in some of the traditional Japanese style for the roofline and a few moving walls and rooms.  It looks really natural out there.  Mexico is along the same lines but it's less cabin-y and more villa-y.   The whole open spaces to catch breezes stuff.  There was another one that had design elements we liked but it was in a gated community.  It had a pretty lattice work roofline and had Thai looking decorations."

"It looks good," Clay assured him.  Xander beamed at him.  "What about the water approach?"

"It has a boat dock.  I'm not sure who would want to.  It's notably marked as private property and a private beach.  To get onto the beach they'd either have to be on the water or climb over the side walls.  We're about thirty minutes from the towns though so not really something most tourists would do."

"That one already had a working farm set up on one of the properties and we're keeping it going," Jensen said, handing over that to Wade.  "It's within the walls but has a separate wall between it and the main housing areas.  It gets fed from the same river that backs the property and the one behind us is owned by the state as far as I could find."

"So that's the security risk there," Wade decided.  "Hiding someone among the farm workers."  They all nodded.  "But easier managed than some other areas."

"The town is closer to Italy's but we're on a private road.  The road up the mountain belongs to us," Xander said, showing him that.  "That's two miles of private driveway and that's a main road but not that busy of one.  With the gates, it should be enough unless we're in a full siege.  The local town's officers are normal small town cops.  We're forty-five from a real city and fifteen minutes from a local town there.  Another five in the other direction."

"Which makes sense," Clay agreed.  "You're only an hour and a half from the border it looks like."

"No direct road but close enough for comfort of sneaking one of you out if we have to," Wade said.  He passed them on.  "The Euro GHS board is headed in France."

"Yup," Xander agreed.  "I've met him before.  They hold conventions in neat places like Monte Carlo."  He grinned.  "And all the head guys know about us.  Especially since Adam was a founding member and he was the guy that named the group, though his suggestion was meant to be sarcastic."

"That figures," Clay said dryly.  He looked around.  "No kids?"

"No, they're with the nanny and daddy," Xander said with a grin.  "That will also give us room in case one of us wants to adopt in the future."  Jensen grinned at him.  "By then, Jensen's niece will almost be ready for college so she can use the address up there for local tuition if she wanted to go to Denver."

"Do we own anything else there?" Wade asked.

"A restaurant we own down here has a branch there," Xander said with a grin.  "We're majority investor.  When it's closer to time, we'll buy a warehouse sort of place to guard and let the local agents fuss over."  That got a nod from him.  "The way I had it figured at first, we'd take over the farm for real for a few years and then move, but then the family group grew," he told them.  "We can't all just appear in Denver.  So we can send whoever dies notably ahead and then slide out whoever after them, with whoever's running the farm last."

"How big is your stable space out there?" Jensen asked.  "You hadn't decided the last I knew."

"We have twenty stalls," Xander said with a grin.  "Brand new stables with indoor and outdoor practice space.  The pool is set up so the horses can use it if they need water therapy for arthritis or anything.  Or for us to use."  He grinned.  "Before I sell this house, the movie theater's being moved to the practice room and that's being turned into a dining room."

"Put french doors to the patio," Wade said.

"That's what I was thinking, or sliding ones."

"French are fancier and would fit with the house," Jensen said.

"Good point.  Nothing too ornate but maybe a good decorative metalwork touch to match the living room's."   They smiled at that.  "I designed in here for the remodel."

"I noticed the mirror house has two living rooms," Clay said.  Xander nodded.  "Didn't use one?"

"Never and the one we used was too small for all of us to sit in there together."  He shrugged.  "It helped a lot.  Made it less formal and stuffy too.  Now I don't expect people in ascots to come down the stairs."  Wade snickered, shaking his head.  "Doesn't it?"

"It does," he agreed.  "How mystical is the basement?"

"Very.  Which is why I have to move the stuff out of the safes down there again.  So it's time for an auction."  He grinned at his minion.

"Do we have an inventory at least?"

"Somewhat," Xander admitted.  He got up and walked into the office, coming out with it.  The binder got handed over and Wade moaned at what was in it.  Clay looked and shuddered.  "Presents," Xander said with a grin.  "Some of it's been down there for years.  Some of it's the last mystical roadtrip's stuff."  He got up and came back with the snack tray and coffee cups.  "I forgot I had made snacks."

Clay took his coffee, sipping it.  "The really good stuff.  Thanks, kid."

"Welcome, Clay.  Oh!  I forgot."  He grinned and showed him a printout from the folder.  "The local commando play areas in Denver."  Clay smirked at him.  "That way if you guys wanted to follow us, you could have stuff too."

"That'd be good to have."  He looked it over.  "A lot of Air Force guys."

"The academy's near there," Jensen reminded him.  "It's an hour away, in the same town as that project."

"Charming," Wade said dryly.  "Will we have a gym?"

Xander pointed at the house plans.  "Whoever gets there first can set it up however.  That way we're not using outdated machines and stuff."

"Okay," Wade agreed.  That worked for his needs.  "I need to get Anya a situp machine."

"Get her a gym membership and go with her," Xander said.  He gave him a look.  "That way she gets to see you all hot and sweaty."

"There's the mistress gym down by South Beach," Jensen quipped.  "They're used to spoiled ones who need to keep in shape to keep their credit cards."

"And a bull-gym next door," Xander agreed.  "For the steroid set."

"She complains it's too much money," Wade told him.

"That's because she has no one to go with and no one there to talk to.  No one there is going to share her goals or be able to agree with her outlooks on life, Wade."

"If we can find a Hannibal Lector gym," Clay said dryly.

"That's in Seattle," Xander shot back with a smirk.  "I got invited to tour it."

"Hell.  No," Jensen said.  "I looked them up.  They're scary as hell, even to me."

Xander grinned.  "Thanks, Jensen."  He looked at Wade.  "Are you seeing things I'm missing from the plans?"

"Few things.  Nothing insurmountable and mostly stuff we'd do once we were getting ready to move.  Security systems?"

"Same company we use down here."

"Guards?"

"As we move, we can add more or however.  I left that loose on purpose."

"Commute time on bad days?" Clay asked.

"To the Denver house?  About twenty-five minutes, up to forty since a bit is on a highway."

"So not horrible but an in-town apartment or setup might help," Wade said.

Xander looked then nodded.  "There's a few nicer residence motels they can get for a week of bad cases.  Including a Hampton Inn near the federal complex."

"Does Steve know?" Clay asked.

"The renovations came out of that account, and the construction company hired the people who did it.  Steve knows it's there, he's gotten all the appraisals and stuff.  He hasn't mentioned wanting to go to any of them.  He's still a bit frustrated with his brother being a dick before the convention to his partner and my crackhead fantasy of the decade as he put it.  Apparently the cruise ship I won and turned into apartments last time wasn't nearly as bad as thinking about a GHS resort."

"You've kept that at the fantasy level," Jensen said.

"I know, and so does he," Xander agreed with a grin.  "But he thinks I'll start having more bad ideas."

"You're worth something like six times the national debt of the country," Wade said.  "It's not like you'll go broke."

Xander considered it.   "I think I'm worth more than that."  He texted Steve, getting a file sent to Jensen.  And a text message saying he was busy swearing at his brother's stupidity.  Xander offered him plane tickets.  Steve's 'don't tempt me' was sounding a bit bitter.  "He's still fighting with Jim over being a dick."  He called out there.  "Hi, Captain Banks?  Xander Harris.  Steve does my financial stuff and I hate to see my buddy so close to pulling out his hair thanks to his douche of a brother."

He smiled.  "Exactly.  No, they're still fighting.  Steve's still arguing with him over that stuff.  So how about this?  I'm going to make sure Doctor Sandburg is well set up so he doesn't have to worry.  He can pay me back by helping me figure out what I want to do later on in life if I ever get unhormoned enough to go to actual classes, even though I hate classroom learning.   You can tell your detective that he's just been stolen by a rich, gay man in Florida who has an *extreme* amount of money to lavish on Blair's studies and needs for research opportunities wherever he wants.  And then remind him of that pesky little sensory problem he has when it goes haywire because he sent away the single person he had bonded to.  Okay?"

He grinned.  "Exactly.  Yeah, I have known.  Way back when, before my hormones came out, the defense group I was part of helped take down a crackhead military and NSA joint project that included some of his original work.  I found it on their servers and read it.  No, because I'll protect someone like Sandburg.  Your detective is a dickhead and you can quote me on that.  Sure, thanks, Captain.  You have a great day.  Make him fetch coffee or something like the plebe he's acting like if he's giving you a headache as well.  Like I said, Steve's a buddy and Jim deserves it for his actions during the convention.  Thank you, have a better day."

He hung up and called Steve.  "How about if I steal Blair, send him on a fabulous research trip, and your brother can go into a sensory coma?" he said dryly.  "Yes I can.  I just told Banks to tell him I would, Steve.  The Initiative guys had some.  Exactly," he said with a smug look.  "So therefore, his douche-ness during the convention offended me.  I'll help protect any society member, even the ones in hiding, Steve.  Sure, maybe he can even figure out what I want to be when I finish growing up in case I decide to try classroom education again.

"Ha ha," he said dryly.  "You know I hate lecture classes.  At least Blair made learning interesting.  I learned a lot from him during the convention.  It made me want to travel more than I usually do, and less safely so it didn't look like I'm traveling with an entourage, because that would throw people off.  Sure.  Have fun with that.  I hereby give you permission to fund an expedition of his dreams, Steve.  It's not like it's going to make me broke, right?"  He smirked at Jensen.  "He sent you that file."

"I'm looking it over.  It's not the full one.  Steve, we're going over the emergency plans," he called.  Another file beeped a second later.  "That's the full US portfolio."

"Steve, don't you have all that stuff?  I gave it to you."  He listened.  "Yeah, all that.  No, Clay, Wade, and Jensen.  The compound in Denver and all that stuff for emergency plans.  Want to take a vacation and check on them?  I'll tell the security guys if you do."

Jensen took the phone.  "Steve, I'm sending you something."  He did that.  "That updated file?"  He listened then smirked at Xander.  "He hasn't seen that."

"I put all that under him.  It's with the guy in New York he wanted me to use for the English stuff."  Xander shifted.

"Okay, he'll get it in a minute," he said.  "Thanks, Steve.  Yeah, I might.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and tossed the phone back.  "He'll ask his seven minions of stupid as he put it."  His computer started to beep the new email message song.

Wade shook his head.  "You diversified?"

"I have a few Asian stocks and Steve's not fluent in their market.  I invested in a British company and they wanted me to go through a British manager because foreign investment makes some people nervous.  Steve hired them for me."

Jensen got the rest of the files and grinned.  "Steve sent a swearing email that he had no idea about half of this.  You two are apparently talking in a bit, Xander."

"That's fine.  He can come see the new house plans.  I'd even help him draw Jim to Mexico so he could drown him."

Jensen snorted.  "Don't tempt him, Xander."  They went over all the information Steve had sent.  Steve showed up by the time they were done and swatted Xander on the head then went over all the investments and the family's portfolio.  Wade had to be able to help Xander with it as his top minion.  Jensen was most likely to join the family and end up helping with it.  So they needed to know and Clay was a backup in case something happened.  He'd have to help Xander find reasonable people to help him.

***

Four days later, Steve walked up to his brother's boss.  "Simon," he said, smiling at him and shaking his hand.  "Two things.  One, your retirement fund needs to be moved from your current manager.  They're about to be raided by the Treasury for fraud."

"How do you know who I use?"

"Jim told me you two went to the same guy."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "You're sure?"

"Yup, it in was in the Wall Street Journal this morning that they're under investigation."  He handed over a card.  "They're a national firm but he's very good.  He quit drinking five years ago and he kept all his skills.  He's good at finding minor things that pay off well and he does micro-manage and accept input."  He smiled.  "Secondly, Xander was sorry he threatened Jim.  Though he was serious."

"He got a death threat yesterday."

"That wasn't Xander.  That was someone who *really* wants Xander.  He was going to impress him with Jim's death."  He grinned.  "I talked to him and pointed out Jim was my brother and if he was going to die, I'd be holding the baseball bat or sword that did it.  He agreed that was fine and he'd learn to cultivate nut trees to please Xander with."

"Do you have any idea where Sandburg is?"

"Colorado.  Looking over Xander's future place for any sort of native remains that might have been hidden.  Xander thinks there are some and he wanted it handled respectfully and cordoned off so they didn't build near them or put any part of the practical things, like the orchard, overtop of it.  After that, there's one in Italy, one in Mexico, and one in Canada."

"Good to know," Simon said blandly.  "Jim's freaking out."

"Jim's uptight, Simon.  He needs the rod pulled out and reformed into a dildo."  Simon choked.  Steve smirked.  "Xander is the most gay tough guy I've ever seen.  The kid can scare thugs and then turn to coo at both babies he occasionally babysits.  He stole a CSI from Las Vegas when they were down on him.  They were trouble buddies until Greg found his boyfriend and a good federal job."

"I saw Sanders at the convention."

"Yeah.  He had almost a year and a half with Greg.  Greg even managed to teach him some chemistry.  Blair can teach him humanities in the same way.  Plus Blair can be *warm* in Miami."

"Don't tempt him.  I'd never hear the end of it when Jim died."

"That's all Jim's dick running his mouth, Simon.  If he needs Blair that much he's got to accept Blair for who he is and was.  It's been four years.  You'd think he would've figured out Blair was himself before now.  Even I'm not that uptight.  Even before I met Xander I wasn't that uptight."  Simon snickered.  "Anyway, where is my Summers Eve brother, as Xander called him."

"Court for another ten minutes," Simon said with a laugh.

"That's fine.  I can wait."  He grinned.  "Call him today.  The less that the Feds have to roam through the better off it is for them.  He can also do an independent audit to make sure you weren't part of the fraud he did.  I'd offer but Xander's driving me nuts.  He diversified without telling me.  I had to meet with the others who help me with his foreign accounts and they all got confused that there were others.

"We moved from seven, underneath me, to three, including me, earlier today.  Xander seriously needs to quit playing poker.  The IRS told him to estimate his winnings and he did.  Pretty accurately most years but last year he was under it by ten percent.  Of course, he brought in copies of his debt book so some of that hadn't been paid off yet.  This year he's won a good few hundred million from the arms and drug dealers."

"If I ask nicely can he come up here and do that to our pipeline?" Simon snorted.  "We could use it easing."

"Simon, he played during the convention and won sixty from the local arms dealer network," Steve said.  "They had to pay him in weapons they lost so much."

Simon smirked.  "Thanks, Ellison."

"Not a problem.  The Miami-Dade crime lab all glared at Xander when they paid him off the other day.  The retrieval team helped do the inventory and yelled at Xander, then told the crime lab.  Even their receptionist scowled at Xander for that bit of poker playing.  Though him winning against the Mala Noche group up here was apparently nice.  Horatio has a hate/hate relationship with them."  He saw Jim come off the elevator and walked out there, handing him the lurid purple jelly sex toy, complete with balls and squirty bulb.  "Xander said you needed that because yours wasn't working right and it was rotting your brain."

He handed over another one.  "I think that's better for you to replace the stick up your ass with."  He walked around him, letting Jim stare at the extra-long porn star model realistic 'skin' dong.  Less eye catching because of the natural color but it was thirteen inches and nine around.  Plus slightly weighted balls for a natural swing.  He heard Jim's moan when he got onto the elevator.  That was so pretty of him.  Maybe one of his coworkers would help him so he was a happier person.

He was sure Blair would like that.  He might even want video of it.  Steve got into his car and went to Denver to help and talk to Blair.  He didn't want his brother to die, even if he was being a dick.

The End.
 

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