***Year Seven
***
Helena looked up as her new boss joined her at her table in the restaurant, giving him an odd look. "What?"
"I'm here to tell you that the arrogant bastard quit," he offered. "I'm now over your life." He put his elbows on the table, looking her over. "Well, you're not what I assumed. From the reports I thought you might eight feet tall and as strong as two Chinese water buffalo." She snorted, and dug into her lunch again. "Anyway, we need to have a meeting. Now good for you?"
"As long as you don't make me sick," she said with a shrug. "They left last week."
"They left last night, after they stayed to watch you readjust, like usual." She gave him a long look. "Really. Others have noticed it too." She shrugged, her mouth was full. "Fine, you're not concerned that you're dating a thief?"
"No. He gives a damn. Besides, he does a lot of the same things I do, taking out the bad guys or making them sorry." She ate another bite, waving her fork for him to get on with it.
"If you can justify it to yourself then I won't argue about it," he offered. "I will argue about that annoying bounty habit you have."
"You cut my shopping and weapons budget. A girl's got to eat, have clothes for the jobs, and have bullets." She picked up her glass and took a drink, letting her fork clink against it. "Give it back and I'll stop."
"You have other money."
"That's so I can take a long vacation after this and remember who I was," she told him. "I'm planning on at least two months somewhere else. Somewhere I've never been and where no one's heard of me."
"That may take some doing. One of the new African ambassadors in New York wanted to know if you worked in their city as well."
She shrugged. "Not my fault. I did my job."
"Very well," he agreed, smiling at her. "How much was your shopping and weapons budget?"
"Six grand, total." She ate another bite of salad, going back to her primary reason for being here. He stared at her. "Inflation," she noted. "This isn't the Reagan years."
"Hopefully a year?" She nodded. "Fine, I can reinstate that. No more bounties?"
"Unless it's a useful tool," she agreed between bites.
"Why are you eating a salad with beef strips? Are you pregnant?"
"No, I'm anemic, my thyroid is giving me grief again, and I'm hungry. Ask me about any of them and I'll give you the long version," she said smartly.
He rolled his eyes. "Fine. You're having a woman's moment." She shook her head. "No?"
"Nope, sorry. I'm not that regular. This is the real me. Get over it. You guys helped create me this way." She put down her fork and drained her water. "Anything else?"
"We don't like your new apartment or the...people who keep coming up to you for help."
"They need my help. Others aren't giving them real help, they're giving them bandaids in place of corrective surgery. It's staying. It's who I am. Get over it," she told him. "As for the new apartment, I like it. If you don't, yay. If housing prices go down I'm buying the condo next door and expanding."
He grimaced. "Fine. It's not very open."
"All the better for people to not shoot at me again."
"Fine," he agreed, nodding. He pulled out a card and passed it over. "That's my cellphone. It's always on unless it's a special event." She nodded and tucked it into her wallet. "No purse?"
"And get mugged?"
"No one'd be that stupid," he told her. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever. You ready to get back to work?"
"I've been at work. The person at the table behind you and just out of the corner on your right when you look is a major dealer. He's an importer. He's having lunch with one of his flunkies about their distribution network going down and collapsing. They're recruiting new dealers." He looked impressed. "The guy in the suit with him is the flunkie by the way."
"Thank you." He got up and went to make note of the man's face as he walked past him on his way outside to his car.Helena sighed in frustration as the car blew up. The man saluted her with a grin. So she blew a kiss. "He was going to give me back my shopping budget," she called in the chaos. "That way I wouldn't have to do bounty work." She grabbed her handcuffs and walked over, knocking them both out and cuffing them together. Then she went to call the cops since no one else was. They were more than happy to finally arrest him and his flunkie, and give her the bounty, and especially happy that they had done the bombing from the reports of the witnesses. It meant one less open case that needed to be worked on.
Helena went to take her new check out shopping a few hours later. She noticed her tail and stuck a hand out her window, waving back at him. Then she sped up, leading him on a merry chase to the park. Where she got out and leaned against her car with her gun in one hand, under her other arm so it wasn't noticeable to the normal people taking walks or jogging in the park. The other person got out and she nodded at him. "Detective. Nice to meet you. How's work?"
"Boring," he noted, walking around the hood of his green car to face off with her. "Put it away."
"I don't know that they didn't send you."
"They didn't send me when you were in the hospital and they didn't this time. They can come crawling themselves." She put up the gun. "You've been busy."
"Yeah, that's my job," she said patiently, giving him a small nod for him to get to the point.
"A bit too busy, girl. There's talk that you're now a danger to others, like the syndicates. I've got friends and they've said that you're too good now.""They've known who I was for about four years now," she pointed out.
"I know, and so do they. Before, you were a useful tool. Now you're running out of higher targets. They're thinking you're either going to clean out all the little dealers or look at the people behind the money. It's making them paranoid. Take another vacation, a very long one. Go harass people elsewhere for a few months."
"I just got back from one."
"And immediately busted a whorehouse. It's not your usual thing and they took notice of it. Even though they were working out of the building across from yours and they annoyed you by using young runaway boys, the big people in the mafia are damn scared of you. They think you're bored and going to start looking for more challenging targets."
"If I wanted to, I could turn in most of them right now. The only one I can't is that new guy and he's creeping me out badly."
"Good. He's got our hackles up too," the detective agreed happily. "It's good to know I'm not wrong. Still, go harass others."
"And if he tries a power play?"
"Then come back and solve it. It'll make them happier with you again. Go take out a few more on the Most Wanted list for the Feds."
"They just blew up my new boss."
"Really? That was him?" He smirked. "So what? You've worked without one before, right?" She nodded. "Then make an executive decision and get outta dodge." He shrugged, then grinned at her. "Think of it as a relaxing time if you want. Track a few leads outside the city. Go to LA and smoosh with their people. Go to New York and suck up to them, make their lives a bit easier."
She nodded. "I had an invitation once but I turned it down. I guess I could call Jigen and see if they wanted help." She sighed. "I don't know where they are."
"Hey, there's always Mexico. I hear you've got friends down there."
"I've got more than that. I've got a whole town that I fell in love with on the west coast. It's peaceful. No bullets flying around. The loudest thing is a truck backfiring and it sounds nothing like a gunshot down there." She grinned. "There is a nasty rumor that the Zapetistas are going that way. I could go check it out."
"Good. Do that. I'll watch your cats if I have to. That be okay?"
"Yeah. There's a spare in my box. Hurting my cats is like hurting my children. When someone comes for it, the pass and the filled gift cards are in the cookie jar. Give those, not the money. That's tip money." He nodded. "Remember, I'm trusting you. Goemon loves my cats and Jigen loves me. Between the four of us, I'm sure we can do horrible things to you."
He laughed. "Don't worry. It'll be fine. It'll get me away from my pregnant sister and her fussy husband." He got back into his car, heading back to tell his boss what she had said.
Helena got into her car and used her cellphone to call Lupin's. "It's me. I'm heading to Mexico. Just a head's up. They think I'm bored now." She hung up and put the car in reverse, going to make some travel plans and stock up on some necessary things, like litter. Hopefully he figured that part out.
***
Lupin looked up as a news report flashed across the hotel room's tv, standing up. "Guys!" he yelled, waking everyone. His bout of insomnia was useful it seemed. They came running and he pointed, all of them staring as they listened to the story about part of the Mexican Army being repelled from a certain small town on the coast. The rebels had withdrawn from it, vowing to never hurt the citizens, but the Army was not allowed in it either. The citizens had made sure both sides knew that their town as off-limits as a battleground.
Jigen stroked his gun as he listened to the reporter tell about the few casualties, hoping it wasn't her. There was the report of a few arrests of the protesters, but no one was mentioned specifically. "I'm going," he announced.
"Let me call," Lupin offered.
"No, it'll waste time." Jigen went to change and headed out to the airport. The others could follow if necessary. This was his duty. He found Goemon already in his seat in the car and Lupin was running behind him. "You guys don't have to."
"Of course we do," Lupin said with a small grin. "Where else would we go when there's trouble to be had? Fujiko can come get this diamond if she wants it that bad." He got in to drive knowing Jigen was too upset to do it and not make them crash into something small and insignificant, like a building. He glanced back at Goemon, motioning him to distract Jigen somehow.
Goemon leaned forward slightly. "A thought has occurred to me," he said gently. Jigen looked back at him. "What will we do when you decide to settle down, after she has given up and retired from the police?"
Jigen's mouth fell open. "What have you been smoking!" he demanded. "Did someone poison you again?"
"No, it was simply a thought that came to me while I meditated. Surely she will want to settle down sometime in the future. Youth is for doing exciting things and the middle age years are for making sure that the future is carried on. Will you settle down with her?"
"If she wants and asks me," Jigen said, letting that thought go through his mind. He shuddered. "Eww. I can't imagine us in some suburban hellhole, driving one of those minivans, and taking the kids to dance class."
"We'd never let that happen," Lupin promised. "We'd give you two one of the hideouts and let you two use it as your suburban hellhole and help you find a tasteful car that you can still make a getaway in."
"Good. Thank you. Not an issue, but thank you," Jigen agreed, giving him an odd look. He slid down a bit more in his seat, making his mind not run over what a kid of theirs would be like.
Goemon leaned forward. "It would be a wonderful shot, quite intelligent, and quite active," he said quietly.
Jigen glared at him. "How many times have you been warned about reading minds?"
"Apparently not enough," he said smugly, going back to his usual pose.
Lupin snickered. "Oh, damn, that's a bad image. A baby you with her mouth. It'll probably come out with a gun and a hat on."
Jigen punched him on the thigh. "Quit! There are no kids planned!"
"Sure, Jigen," Lupin taunted. "You say that now, but she'll be twenty-nine soon. Her biological clock is going to start ticking louder and louder."
"She might not have one," Jigen told him. "She doesn't want kids. She said they scared her too."
"Fine," Goemon agreed to keep the peace. "When it does occur, I will want to be a Godfather."
"Me too," Lupin agreed.
"Fine, *IF* it happens, I'll name you two godparents. Good enough?"
"Great," Lupin said happily. "Now about that house with the dogs and cats. Which hideout did you want?"
Jigen whimpered, shaking his head. "Idiot," he said, glaring at him. "It's not happening anytime soon."
"Fine. I'll let her decide then," Lupin said easily, waving a hand as he turned a corner at high speed. Behind them a set of lights went on. "Jigen, do me a favor and kill those. They're giving me spots in my vision."
Jigen turned around and shot out the lights, then sat back down, getting comfortable. "Asshole."
"Yes, but it's not been invaded recently," he said smugly.
"Maybe it should be, it would help you sleep more often," Goemon suggested. "You've also reused ideas that never worked. Perhaps some lubrication up that passage would help the brain you have tucked into a nearby organ work smoother."
Jigen looked back at him. "Did you just say what I think you did?" Goemon nodded. "Thank you. Saved me from having to." He smirked at Lupin. "See, he agrees. You need to find that bitch and fuck her stupid again so you feel better."
"She's the one who keeps running," Lupin pointed out, changing lanes to get around a slow moving delivery truck. Which the cop car crashed into since it didn't really have lights or headlights. "Maybe I need to find Pietro and approach him."
"He goes for the young, pretty, and smart," Goemon noted. "Pick someone up in a bar and do so safely."
"Now I know this is a bad dream. Goemon just said to have safe sex."
"Hey, maybe that's the image they need in those campaigns," Lupin offered. "He'd scare me into using a condom."
"Hopefully. The world does not need more of you," Goemon said dryly.
"Maybe some day," Lupin assured him. "My brilliance and charm must live on after all. The ladies of the world will get bored otherwise."
"Then maybe you should find one of them to pant after instead of the bitch," Jigen suggested.
"If I wanted one of those, I would have taken yours from you," Lupin said dryly, giving him a look. "I know it's irrational, but she's what I want in a woman."
"You need drugs, man," Jigen said seriously. "Strong, permanent drugs."
"Maybe some day," Lupin agreed. He knew it was hopeless lusting after Fujiko. Something had spooked her, she wouldn't even cuddle next to him to try and get jewels off him anymore. He wondered what it was but she refused to spend any time alone with him. "Hey, after she's free and back at home, I think I'm gonna take a short jaunt into Germany. You guys handle the hideout alone?"
"Sure, Lupin," Jigen agreed. "If necessary, I'll stay with Helena for a few days."
"That's fine," Goemon agreed. "There are things I could check on as well."
Lupin nodded. "Thanks, guys."
***
Helena looked up as the prison fell down around them and the roof disintegrated. "Wow. I want the toy that did that," she announced, making the others around her laugh. She smiled and waved up at her honey. "Hi, Jigen." She climbed up the bars, letting him help her up the last few feet so they could walk along the top of the former cages. "How's Europe?"
"Decent enough. Chicago?"
"Fussy. They think I'm getting too bored and that I'm going to go after the really big guys. Which I don't know why I would, since it lends me safety and stability. Having new guys pushing their power around annoys me and makes me paranoid." She looked down at Goemon. "I'm not that light. Get out of the way."
"You've slimmed down again, come down," Goemon ordered. "I can catch you."
"Goemon, I'll smoosh you. Now move." He gave her a stubborn look and she sighed, jumping away from him. He tried but she landed on top of him. "See, I told you so." She stood up and helped him up, then they got Jigen between them. "No Lupin?"
"He set the bombs then left. We think he's going to have it out with Fujiko," Jigen shared, walking her to the car. "Unfortunately we can't stay. We're needed in Prague."
She sighed. "Sure, pull another white knight and then run off." She leaned Jigen against the car and kissed him deeply, making him moan. He shivered as she pulled back and clutched at her, pulling her back for more. When she finally got free, she gave him a wink. "Now, you go to Prague and be a good boy, Jigen. Jump Lupin if you have to. I'm going back to the kitties. I left a cop I still trust in charge of them." She turned and jogged off, heading for her rented place and car. Someone had thoughtfully packed it for her and had the keys ready when she jogged past him. "Gracias," she said, waving a hand as she got inside. She sped up, heading back up to her safety. Jigen always gave her wet panties when he pulled something spectacular like that, let him live with the hard on she had given him.
***
Jigen found Lupin waiting for them in Prague and pulled him up, getting into his face. "No Fujiko?"
"She heard and ran." He shrugged, looking miserable.
"Good. I have a better use for you anyway." He drug him into the bedroom, going to make himself forget his tease of a girlfriend. "She got hot when we blew the jail. She kissed me to get me hot. I've been like this the whole flight." Lupin moaned and went down to help him. It would raise his mood too. "Damn, you're good," Jigen moaned, holding him in place. "My second bitch."
Lupin looked up at him and pushed Jigen onto the bed, going back to what he was doing. "I doubt I'm the second bitch," he said between licks. "I can always leave you like this too."
"Do it, I'll shoot you then take your body while you lay there pleading for your life," Jigen warned. Lupin gave him a long look, then went back to what he had been doing, going harder. "Good bitch," he praised, patting the soft hair. "Go deeper now."
"Fine, Jigen, but I want a reward for putting up with you when you're like this."
"The ideas you get," Jigen panted, pushing his head down. "More, now!" he ordered frantically, making Lupin give him a smug look. "Fine." He pushed him off and picked Lupin up, tossing him onto the bed. "For that you get to be on the bottom again."
Lupin took off his shirt, going along with him. Sex with Jigen always gave him good ideas. Some of his best to date had come from sex with Jigen. He undid his belt buckle and button and Jigen pulled them off him, tossing them aside. "Helena didn't take care of you at all, buddy?"
"Hell no. Bitch teased me then ran off to rescue her cats from a cop she had watching him. After she landed on top of Goemon." Lupin gave him a speculative look and he knew the thought going through his head. "He wanted to catch her." He ripped the boxers off and then worked on getting his own clothes off. Lupin tossed over some lotion and spread himself out. Jigen slicked himself up then moved forward, taking him hard and fast. They both liked it that way.
***
Helena walked up to her on again/off again girlfriend and kissed her. "Busy tonight?"
"Technically. My present girlfriend is pouting at me. Want me to fix you up with someone?"
"Please? Jigen had to run off and he pulled off an impressive save," she moaned. "I'm still wet and I've tried so hard to get rid of it."
Her girlfriend smirked. "Go rent your usual room." Helena blew a kiss and skipped off. She picked up the phone and made a quick call. "Cat, it's Flavia. Helena's back and *desperate*," she purred. "The usual place. Have fun, sweetie. I know you wanted to touch that body once." She hung up and went to tell her girlfriend that they could have their anniversary dinner after all.
***
Helena looked up from her reading a few weeks later when someone knocked on her door. She set her book aside and grabbed her gun. "What?" she demanded.
"Ma'am, I've got a delivery for you," a male voice called.
She grimaced. Little did he know that she knew what his voice sounded like. She had been watching him in anticipation of this moment. "Let me put on some clothes, I'm naked," she called, heading just out of sight of the door. She had a good shot but he wouldn't have one at all. When he didn't kick it in, she inched closer and opened it from the side, looking at him. He held out a bouquet of flowers. "Not interested."
"Ah, but you see, I've consolidated my power already. I'm here to woo you to my side of the fence, fair Helena."
"And I'm still dating someone who's bigger, badder, and more deadly than you. Besides, we all know what I am."
"I know." He shrugged. "It's said you investigate things before making a decision. I'm asking you to give me that same chance."
"I already did. I find your lack of appreciation for the finer things in life to be troubling. I also find your need to wipe out whole families, down to the family pets, troubling. For that matter, you're here threatening my pets and we all know that's a dangerous thing. The only thing I find you worthy of is a long, hot bath with that really strong Lava soap to clean off the grease your usual one can't quite get rid of, and a long jail sentence." He chuckled. "And if you think I'm kidding, you're wrong."
"No, I know you're not. May I?"
"Hell no. I don't want you to contaminate my cats. Who knows what sorts of diseases you carry."
"Fine. We can have this out here where anyone can see."
"I don't have neighbors." She realized her mistake when he smiled. She pulled her gun up before his cleared his holster and he fell with a loud cry of alarm. Others came running and she waved at them. "Leave. Now. Or become the next one." They started to draw weapons but she got them too. All wounded but one who was behind and she could only get a head shot on him. She closed the door and went to call it in. "It's Helena," she told the dispatch officer. "I'm at home." The woman sounded confused. "Get your supervisor, she'll understand." She winced. "Then stand up and say who it is, sweetie, you're in over your head." She hung up and Helena called back, getting one who had been there longer than two weeks. "It's Helena, I'm at home. Pritchard and his boys just came up to try and arrange for me to join their cause. One's dead, the rest are bleeding in my hallway. I could only get a head shot on one of them with the way he was standing." She hung up and went to check on her cats. They were hiding under the bed and Morris was guarding them. He hissed at her. "I know, you hate the smell of gunpowder. I'll bathe off soon."
She used the phone up there to call the number on the card in her wallet. The office number rang through to a secretary. "It's Helena Nichols. We just ran into a snag in Chicago. Do I have a contact?" She listened as the woman said something quickly and transferred her to another agent, who interrupted his meeting to take her call. "It's Helena Nichols. I just had to shoot Pritchard. He came to my apartment to woo me." She listened to his instructions. "Too late, I called it in. Only one's dead. Because I'm like that," she said impatiently. "Don't start on that. I will come kick your ass too." She calmed down as the other voice gave her new orders. "Fine. No, I'm good on location. I'm good on everything but bullets and new weapons. I'm running short. They cut my shopping budget last year. If you want me to stay out here, I'd reinstate it soon. Yes, those. Because otherwise you're going to be making good on promises to get me off this job and back as a detective. Hey, I've got it on tape," she offered. "I tape all such occurrences. It was hidden in my book," she said smugly. "Thank you. A meeting would be fine. I'm going to be here eating ice cream." Someone pounded on the door so she went down to answer it. "Hi," she said, waving at the cops. "They came up and tried to woo me to their side of the power struggle. Underneath Hayes there is Mr. Pritchard. He did not have that knife in his chest when I got him. I only use a gun," she said, waving it. "The head shot was me, I couldn't get a better one. Sorry. I was upstairs calling my boss."
Hayes looked at her. "You out?" she asked.
She snorted. "They're debating it," she said dryly. "I don't know yet, won't until later tonight. They have to ask the asskissers in Washington. I hope so, I want my detective's badge." They all looked stunned. "You didn't know I was a cop?"
"No, we knew," the detective said. "They're making you a detective without taking the test?"
"Dude, do you know how many cases I solve and hand over a year?" she asked.
He nodded. "Intimately. I looked them up. The print out comprised most of two boxes of paper. Congratulations. You'll still probably have to take the test and pass the psych exam."
"As soon as they let me go, I'm leaving and going on vacation to remember who I really am." She went inside, getting a plastic baggie to pull out the knife. She looked at the handle and the design. "Fairly simple but hand-wrapped with leather. There's small flaws in the spacing and overlap." She handed the baggie and knife over, letting them see it. "I was upstairs, that wasn't me."
"I know it wasn't you," the detective agreed. "I saw someone running as I pulled up. The others were behind me by a good minute." He glanced at the hissing beast by her feet. "Yeah, it's me again," he told him. "Behave. What happened to his back?"
"He ran away while we were in Mexico a while back and got stuck under a large bush. It ripped into his back." She shrugged. "It mostly grew back." She looked at the blade again, pointing out something. "That's an initial."
"Thanks, Helena," the commander said as he joined them. "Who stabbed them?"
"Not a clue, I was upstairs calling the people above me. They're talking to the asshole lickers in Washington."
"With as many gay people as you know and hang with, I'm surprised you use that phrase," the detective said bitterly.
Helena picked up her hissing cat to soothe him. "It's different when you're doing it for pleasure, dear one. For pleasure is much different than doing it to gain favor and recognition. Doing it for fun means that you're enjoying it, not doing it to try and poison those above you with your spit." The detective coughed, blushing now. "What? You don't do that for your women? Or men, I don't know how you swing, sorry."
"No, I don't. I'm not dating," he told her grimly. "Go sit, we can get a statement in a minute." She nodded, leaving the door slightly open, but not open enough to encourage the cats to come help. He looked at his commander, who was giving him a funny look. "I watched her cats while she went to Mexico."
"Oh." He nodded. "Good. I noticed the interest."
"I think she's a damn good cop," he admitted. "Even for having to do this shit. Or maybe especially." He handed over the knife. "She identified it slightly."
"The same guy?" The detective nodded. "Good job, detective." He went to call in some forensics people to help them. These ones were beyond the help of modern medicine.
***
Helena walked into the Don's house, blatantly going past the stiff bodyguards. She found him and his family in the dining room and nodded at the wife. "I only need him for a minute. There's news he needs to hear."
"They know what I do, Helena," the Don said tolerantly.
"Good. Pritchard came to my house earlier to try and woo me. I got him for threatening my cats and someone got him after me. I did my usual job and left it for the more official people to sort out."
He relaxed. "Thank you. That was a great service to the rest of us, Helena. How can we thank you?"
"Keep my little world stable and we don't have problems," she noted. "Cancel the bounty on Jigen's head."
He took a few breaths while he thought. "I'm not the one who put it out but I can look into the possibility. If not, you can name another reward. How about that?" She shrugged and nodded, crossing her arms. "Is that all?"
"You might tell the others that I like things the way they stand. It keeps my world stable and makes me happy at the moment. I don't like this life I lead any more than they do, but I don't have much of a choice in the matter and I never have. The more stable and strong the rest of you are, the easier it is for me to work the way I do. If you get too worried, it starts a shaking down in the lower levels, which then comes back to me and makes me cranky. Because, let's face it, if I had wanted to drag you off, I could have done it years ago. All of you." She turned and left, heading back to her apartment. The cleaning ladies were coming tomorrow and she wanted to make sure the forensics people would be done by then. Of course she'd tell them not to use bleach and to save all their cloths for the lab, just in case.
The Don picked up his wine glass and took a long sip. Then he put it down. "I'll be right back. I need to call a meeting."
"She meant it," his wife said quietly, looking at him. "If she had wanted to, she could have and probably would have."
He nodded. "I know," he admitted. "We all do. This will ease a lot of fears." He went to call around to set up a short meeting about this wonderful news. They had all been hoping he'd be overconfident and approach her.
***
Helena picked up the ringing phone as she walked in. "I'm fine," she announced. She smirked. "No, you know I don't care about stress relief. The same as I know you don't." She sat on the arm of the couch, snapping her fingers at the cat trying to help the forensics people. "Morris, they won't play with you and they don't have any catnip." She took the cordless phone into the kitchen, pulling some catnip out and tossing it onto the kitchen floor, bringing them all running. "Sorry, nosy cats. No, Pritchard just tried something at the apartment. No, he's fine," she lied. "I only wounded." She sat down again, smiling at the happiness in his voice. Why ruin his day with news that she was being stalked and her victims killed after she released them?