Visitation by VoracityNick looked in his mirror, seeing the man looking back at him and the confusion he felt at the moment. //The mirror is a window to the other side, or so someone said,// he thought to himself. //What does that man in the mirror see in me? Confusion? Pain? Rage and anger? He'd be right.// He sighed. //I'm not sure what I want, still, and this back and forth state is killing me. I actually started to hallucinate earlier on the firing range, one of the people started to look like Philip.//
Nick shook his head, laying back on his bed. //Now what? More working over what my mind and my body are telling me? I've done that and all it tells me is that I'm liking what I see when I look at Derek and Philip, or their pictures.// He shuddered, bringing up a deeper thought. //Or Oz or Xander, why I don't know. It's not like I want to be attracted to either of them, especially not my brother, but it's like I can't help myself. I actually looked at Oz the other day and spouted wood.// He shook his head. //Not something I want to share with anyone, especially not him. But why doesn't it work for anyone else? I mean, I look at Giles and get cold and icy feelings. I look at William... okay, well, that's a different thing. He kinda reminds me of Derek so I'm projecting that on him.// He grinned. //The things you learn working around a Psychiatrist and a Psychology student.// He frowned. //I will *not * think about Rachel and her escape. No way in Hell am I thinking about that. I'll get pissed and have to go do something again to make myself feel better.// He looked at his weight set in the corner, shaking his head. //I can't lift anymore tonight. I'm tired and cranky and horny.//
Nick shifted to his side, facing away from the door. //That's something I can take care of though. Hmm, which one tonight?// He closed his eyes, untying his sweat pants and sliding his hand down into it. //Philip tonight. In his soccer outfit last year at the Church picnic. All sweaty and mussed.// He grinned, running his hand along the growing length, stroking his thumb along the crest of the top of the separating ridge. His mind pulled up all the times he'd run up against Philip while playing soccer with him, turning the playful bumps and the occasional crash into wanted touches, the feel of the firm body against his very real to his mind. He brought his hand up, licking over it, then brought it back down to start the slow stroking he liked, using his usual firm grasp. His mind pulled up the single time he'd seen Philip naked, rinsing off some sort of ethereal slime in the communal showers at the church, and cut it into the mental tapes of them running into each other, making the sensations real for himself, his hand getting more comfortable with its actions.
He rolled onto his back, eyes shut tightly to ward off anything that might interrupt him, his hand going on its own steam now, working in concert with his mind. In his mind, Philip walked over to help him shower, running one of his soft hands down his own firm chest and taking the bar of soap from his fingers to do it himself. The soap was run over his chest in small circles, working all the gross slime from him a little at a time, each part stroked with the free hand to make sure it was clean. The light blue eyes lit up with pleasure at his own grin, the hands moving more firmly now, going farther south. The bar was run along his hips, over his thighs, not where he wanted it at all, but it still felt good and Philip wasn't one that would want to rush his virgin performance.
The soap had just gotten run along his length when some cruel person knocked on the door, making him come back from his mind to heed the call. He grunted, tying up his sweats as he rolled off the bed, shuffling over to growl at whoever it was. "Philip?" he asked in amazement, blushing as his mind picked up the sweater covered body in front of him and changed the scene to the single time they'd gone horseback riding together. "Come in," he said, opening the door more.
"Nick," he said, his accent almost gone. He hugged him, stepping back to look him over. "Want me ta come back?"
Nick shook his head, mentally groaning. "No, I can wait." He shut the door, pulling him over to the bed and single chair, taking the time to look over the slightly older man. "What happened to you? You look different?"
"Me?" He snorted. "I ran into a prick at the seminary where I was working. He decided God told him to make my accent all but disappear so he tormented me until I stopped talking, and I quote, in an non-understandable manner. So I hit him and I got a vacation." He grinned. "Derek told me you wanted to talk to me so I came here instead a'home." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Go take care of that before you die, I'll wait." He crossed his legs, watching Nick as he walked into the bathroom, his eyes boring into the firm back and rear.
Nick shut the bathroom door, leaning against it. //Damn, he's changed a lot in a few months.// He walked over to the toilet, closing his eyes and letting his mind play again.
The stables came back up, the older man in the next room wearing almost the same outfit then as he adjusted how Nick was sitting by running a hand down his back. Soon the picture in his mind swerved from the gentle ride to an even gentler ride on the same horse, the older man riding behind him. They got to the meadow they'd picnicked in, Philip laying the blanket out and laying across it, wiggling a finger at him then patting the spot beside him. Nick laid himself down, arranging himself in as tasty a manner as he could, then gasping as his mouth was taken control of.
Philip, the one in his mind, took control of him and his body, running his soft hands down it, showing him whole new regions of feeling and want before slowly sucking him inside himself. The warm cavern surrounding him as their bodies rocked together grew too much for him, making him come with a soft sigh of pleasure and a lot of heavy breathing afterwards, each stream hitting a new spot farther in his friend. When he was done and Philip was still hard, he rolled them over, going to fix that problem for him, trying hard to swallow him whole. He heard the soft gasp, swallowing greedily as the warm, salty come flooded his mouth.
Nick opened his eyes, panting hard as he came down from the peaks of his climax, holding onto the wall for support until he was strong enough to clean himself up. He tossed the washcloth into his hamper before flushing the toilet and walking back out. Philip was still smiling, now relaxing on the bed reading one of his muscle building magazines. "What?" he asked suspiciously as the smile turned into the mischievous grin he knew to run away from. "What did I do now?" he sighed, sinking down into the chair. Much safer that way.
"I didn't know you felt that way about me," Philip said softly. He tossed the magazine aside, moving to the nearest edge of the bed to be closer to the younger man. "I thought you only thought that of Derek."
Nick shook his head, blushing. "Sorry but no." He looked down at the floor. "I called your name, huh?" He glanced up to see a nod and the grin getting bigger. "Oh, no, I didn't," he said, getting it.
"Only three or four times," the older man promised. His smile went back to the usual friendly one. "That what you needed to talk to me about?"
"Sure, when you sound more like yourself instead of some weird cross between you and Rupert." He snorted. "You do, you sound funny." He grinned. "You sound *English *, almost." That got him a small frown but the smile was still in his eyes. "You do."
"I should make you pay penance for that," the Priest said. Nick rolled his eyes. "A clear lie." That got him a smile. "Come walk with me, Nick. I need to talk as much as you do and I doubt Derek will understand what's been going on." He stood up, holding out a hand. "Come on, no need to be shy now."
Nick shook his head. "You're seriously different," he said, letting himself be pulled up. "You actually hit him?" Philip nodded. "You in deep trouble or just a little?"
"Not much. I'm being reassigned somewhere but it's not going into my file." He shrugged, leading the way out the door. "How's things been here?"
"Oh, lets not talk about depressing stuff," Nick said, holding open the main door to get down the stairs. "Stout to take with us?"
A howl broke the calm of the house, making both men jump then look at their watches. Philip shook his head. "Forgot about that," he muttered. He led the way into the kitchen, opening the small refrigerator and taking out two bottles, popping his open on the counter. Nick just stared at him. "I learned it from a young man who was having troubles with his calling." He shrugged. "We had many talks over many beers." He handed the open bottle off, popping the other open easily and taking a sip. "Let's go outside, it's warm and clear, for a change."
They headed out to the garden, walking the paths silently side by side as they sipped their stouts. At the end of the path they were on, they headed up to sit in the gazebo, again sitting next to each other in silence as they looked out over the tranquil landscape. By the end of his bottle, Nick had recovered both from his earlier orgasm and his embarrassment. He cleared his throat, breaking the comfortable silence. "Want to talk about what happened?" he asked quietly.
"Not really. The man was a pain and he made my life ... well, lets just say I wouldn't want to be him when my side of the story reaches his review board." He got a grim look. "But that's not why we're out here, Nick, and ya know it."
"I know but I'm not ready to talk about it yet." He leaned forward, resting on his spread thighs and letting his arms hang between his legs, shifting the bottle on the wood floor. "I'm sorry if that disturbed you."
"It didn't, was quite a compliment from what I heard." Nick looked up to see the small grin. "What were ya thinking about?"
"Hmm? Oh, the time we went riding." He blushed. "You're wearing the same clothes and my mind went to it." He shrugged. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, I'm not." Philip lifted Nick up, resting against his shoulder. "Nothing about this last few months has made me sorry, Nick, nothing except ya being hurt again." He felt the heavy flush. "I meant the car accident, not the other two." He frowned, sitting back up. "What were you thinking?"
"That someone had to save her." He touched the new scar on his leg, brushing over the newly puckered tissue of his graze. "Buffy's not been herself since Rachel came back, I just stepped in and saved her."
"That's not your job," Philip reminded him. "That's hers. It's her calling. Ya can't save her anymore than ya could pull me from the Church." The younger man nodded. "I know you understand in your head but does your heart?"
"Yeah, but she's getting back to normal now. She and Rupert have been talking all the time, and her and Alex too. She's gotten over most of the guilt, that was just the first night she'd went out on patrol since Rachel made her shoot him." He shrugged. "I couldn't let her get hurt by the trauma making her freeze."
"Ya care too much," Philip told him, "but that's usually a good thing in your case." The older man sighed. "Is it really both of us?" He felt the small nod more than saw it. "You know we both feel the same way about ya, so what's the problem in your head?"
"I don't know if that's what I really want or if it's just the sex," Nick admitted. "I know I care, but I can't and won't do anything to screw up what we already have for anything less than love." He shrugged. "I can't lose either of you as friends." A gentle hand was laid on his arm, moving down to take the bottle from his hand and put it down for him.
"We do love ya, you've got to know that by now, Nick. Whatever you decide will be right for us. We're leaving it up to ya." He stood up, smiling. "When you're ready, call on me and I'll come back to talk to ya." He started to fade, leaving behind a severely confused former Seal.
"Philip?" Nick called, looking around. He frowned, running back up to the house. "Dominic?" he yelled, bringing the butler out of the pantry. "Was Philip in here?" His whole face must have showed his shock from the way the butler looked at him.
"No, sir, not that I'm aware of. He's not due in for a few more days." He looked over the younger man. "Why? Is that going to be a problem?"
Nick sat down in a chair, hard, and held his head. "No, but we just had a long talk outside and drank a stout together." The butler nodded once and headed out of the kitchen, going for Derek probably. Nick just held himself together until someone else could come make sense of this for him. When the firm hand of his boss and best friend grabbed his shoulder, he turned his face into the firm stomach, burying it in the silk nightshirt. "Philip was here," he muttered into the firm stomach. He looked up to see the shocked look. "We talked about..." He looked around to see both Alex and Rupert behind Derek. "About my head and stuff." The Precept nodded. "We had stout out in the gazebo and everything." That got another nod. "Derek, I think I'm cracking up," he said softly, resting his head against the stomach again.
Rupert tapped Derek on the shoulder, motioning outside then he left. Alex sat down beside Nick, taking his hand to rub over. "Cold," she mouthed at her boss, who just nodded. She raised an eyebrow but got a head shake so got up, walking out.
Derek pulled the chair she'd been sitting in over, sitting down and holding onto the hurting younger man. He smoothed down the ruffled short hairs on the back of his head, tenderly soothing him back to a more normal state. "What did you two talk about?" he asked.
"Us. The three of us." Nick looked up, eyes still large and scared looking. He let his head fall back to the comforting shoulder. "He told me he punched someone, another priest who was being a prick to him. His exact words." He raised his head again. "And his accent was gone. Well mostly. He sounded like some weird cross between himself and Rupert and when I mentioned that, he told me it was that other priest's fault. That he'd been forced to talk like that by constant pressure." He shook his head. "What happened?"
Rupert set the two bottles on the table in front of him. "Unless you drank both, I'd say some sort of astral projection." He sat down across from them. "When did he show up?" He saw the heavy blush. "Were you thinking of him?" he asked delicately. He got a confused look. "If you were, it might have allowed him to pull himself here and maintain a stronger presence so you couldn't tell the difference."
Nick nodded. "I was thinking about him when he knocked on the door." He looked at Derek, still blushing. "Thinking really hard about him." He got a nod. "He knocked on the door so I got up to answer it and he let me..." His voice trailed off and his blush got stronger, making him get up and head to the small refrigerator for another stout to cover it. "Then we took a walk in the garden, really doing that quiet friends thing that we do when he's been around for a while. We ended up in the gazebo and we talked out there." He looked at the lid then at the counter. "When we stopped through for the bottles, he popped them open on the counter."
Dominic cleared his throat. "I did find scratches that suggested someone had been doing that, sir," he said softly. He handed Nick a warmed, damp towel. "Go sit down, sir, you need to relax." He handed over the bottle opener, watching as the lid came off and both were handed to him.
Nick went back to his chair, turning to face the table now, both hands peeling the label off the bottle to give his hands something to do. "It seemed so real. I could feel his hand on my arm and everything." He looked down at his hands. "This is too strange, even for us."
"Astral projection is a well known phenomenon," Rupert told him gently. "Has Father Philip shown any sort of gifts before?" Derek shook his head. "I hate to say this, but could you call and check on him? The most common cause is ..." Both men went pale and the phone was handed to Derek.
The Precept dialed quickly, from memory, and tapped the table with his free hand as he waited for the thing to be answered. He ended up putting it down when no one came to the other end, scowling now. "Nick, what did he say, give me the details?"
"That he was at Seminary but they were moving him because of what happened between him and this other priest, the one who forced him to give up his accent and talk like him through some sort of pressure." He took a deep drink, thinking back. "He said he hit him, that's why he was being transferred, and that he was here until he found out where he was being reassigned." He shrugged. "That's about it."
Derek got up, heading for his office, the two other men following. He pulled his phone book over, flipping to a well thumbed page and dialing the number. "Is the Bishop there?" he asked when the woman answered.
"Would this be Doctor Rayne?" she asked, her voice a clipped British sounding accent.
"Yes, this would be. What happened?"
"The bishop was called to the Seminary where Father Philip was. It seems he collapsed for no apparent reason and he said he expected you to call anytime now. He just left about five minutes ago."
Derek swore in Dutch, hanging up. "Nick, go get dressed. Rupert, we're going down the coast to Carmel, that's where Philip is, hold down the fort for me." He hurried out of the office, Nick right behind him.
They met again at the bottom of the stairs, Nick jingling the keys to the Range Rover nervously. They left together, heading out into the night.
***
Oz woke up as the door was knocked on, getting up to trudge over to it, scratching his stomach. He looked around the room in confusion then opened the door. "What?" he muttered, eyes still mostly closed and squinting at the man at the door. "Giles? Wha's wrong?"
"Derek and Nick left early this morning when they found out Father Philip was hurt. I'm calling a house meeting in half an hour." The younger man nodded. "Do try to be awake by then and dressed." He pulled the door closed, leaving them alone.
Oz looked down at himself and shrugged. "Whatever," he muttered, going back to the bed, snuggling down beside his girlfriend. "Will, house meeting," he said, nudging her.
"Screw the house," she said, pinning him to the bed. "I don't care. Sleep is good, so is cuddling." Her head found it's way to it's usual rest, snuggling down in by burrowing, or trying to. "Who was that?"
"Giles. Nick and Derek went after Philip. He's calling a house meeting." He shivered as one of her delicate hands ran down his stomach, grasping him lightly. "Will, not enough time to do that now. Later." He pushed her off, rolling off the bed and heading for their bathroom.
She scowled at the empty spot then shrugged, getting up and following him in.
Giles looked around at the congregated members of the house, making sure they were mostly awake now. "Derek and Nick left last night. It appears that something has happened to Father Philip." He glanced at Alex. "It also appears we had some sort of astral projection from him last night. I'd like one of you to look into that."
Oz raised his hand. "Who did? I don't remember seeing him." He shook his head. "Not that that's definitive proof since I was turned but I didn't see him."
Giles nodded. "Nick was visited. They walked through the house and out into the garden. Alex, work with Willow to find out if we can prove it then document what we know. Oz, I'm afraid I need you to do something else. I'm afraid we've had a call that you need to go work on. I'll accompany you there." He stood up. "Any questions?" Willow raised her hand. "What?"
"That was kinda my question. What happened to him?"
"I've not had an update yet but from what I've heard it was some sort of pressure from another member of his order, someone with possible mental capabilities." She nodded. "I'd like you to finish the research I started after you've got the proof or not." He looked at Alex. "While I'm gone, you're in charge." She nodded. "Good, now go to work." He watched as they all dispersed in the direction of the kitchen.
***
Nick looked down at the body he was sitting beside, rubbing his tired eyes. "Philip," he said softly, "brother, come back to me. Us. Derek will be back soon. Maybe he'll try the Sleeping Beauty approach." He looked up as the door opened. "What's the bad news, bossman?"
"I've talked to the priest and he didn't know that he was doing it, or so he said," Derek grunted as he sat down in the other chair, "but he did say he would attempt to stop whatever he did." Nick snorted. "That was my feeling but the Bishop chose to believe him. I'll attempt to go after him if we've not had a change in a few hours." He leaned over the still body, taking the clenched hands in his. "Nick, it wasn't your fault. You didn't pull him to you last night. I'm sure he was just taking a break from fighting to come back to us when he felt your thoughts." He squeezed it and let go, sitting back. "We just have to wait and know that we can react to this to bring him back to us."
Nick looked up, his eyes still very sad looking. "Us?"
"Us," Derek said firmly. He smiled, just a hint of one. "I noticed your embarrassment when you told us what happened and I know I'm not the only one who thinks about him in those terms." He scratched his left ear. "I heard you last night, also." That got him a bright blush and the head going down to hide on the bed. "Nick, I'm not upset. I'm a little surprised but I'm not upset." He picked up one of Philip's hands, holding it in his and stroking over the back of it with his thumb. "Philip, you need to come back, Nick needs your calmness." He smiled at the younger man as his head came up. "You do. You're much more focused when he's around."
"I'm not that wild anymore, Derek." He grinned. "You're still thinking about the old me, the pre-Xander me." He nodded at the nurse as she walked in then back out. "I've changed since then. No more wild stunts. No more outrageous behaviors."
"Yes, but you told that young man to take you place." He grimaced. "I wonder when he's coming back?"
"When he's ready to." Nick shrugged. "I hope it's soon but I'm sure it won't be too much longer. He was looking forward to starting school in a month." The older man nodded. "I'm sure he's fine. And the baby," he added as an afterthought.
Derek grunted. "I'd hope so. I still would like to know how Serena snuck into his car and he didn't catch her."
"Derek, he wasn't thinking about the kids, only about his wounds, including his heart. She probably got into the trunk when he went inside to do a last check of his room." This was old territory, they'd been over it a few times since the man in question had left almost a month ago. "Wonder how he's doing? I haven't heard a thing from him."
Derek frowned. "Me either, which might be a goot sign, coming from him. I'm sure if he was in trouble, we would have heard from him by now." He smiled again. "Just as I would expect from one of you."
Nick grinned. "I'm not *that * bad, Derek." He rolled his eyes. "Where is he anyway?"
"The cabin in Nevada." Nick shuddered. "Is something wrong?"
"Derek, do you remember the last time you had to come save me from the cops?" He got a slight nod. "That was there. They really don't like the non-standard lifestyles of people." He shuddered. "I'll call up there to have someone go check on him. Maybe someone from the Chicago study group." He pulled out his phone but the hand on the bed twitched. "Derek, did you see that?" he whispered, taking the hand in his. The older man's hand squeezed his and he grinned. "Philip," he called softly, "nap time's over, bro, come back now. Derek's gonna frown if you don't." He looked up in time to see the tolerant head shake. "You will. You do that when he's not around when you want him." That got him a fond smile. "What?" he asked, suspicious of that look.
"He told me I get the same look when you're not there." He shrugged, leaning down to kiss a stubbled cheek. "Philip, he's right, it's time to come back, love," he whispered into the ear nearest him. His face got brushed away. "No, come back. I want to see your eyes."
"Told you he was mushy," Philip muttered, opening his eyes and looking at them both. "Hi again," he said, the accent from his visitation still around. "Where am I now?" He tried to sit up but fell back to the hard mattress. "Some help please?" He was looking at Derek but it was Nick that lifted him up, settling him on the newly fluffed pile of pillows.
"Morning," Nick said softly, pushing some of his hair around. "You remember coming to see me?" He saw the big smile and groaned. "Don't tell me you remember."
"Who, me?" Philip asked innocently. He looked at Derek. "Quite a show our Nick put on."
"Our?" Nick swallowed hard. "As in ..."
"Both of ours?" Derek finished for him. Nick nodded. "Only if you want it. We've had a long talk about this after you got ill the last time. It seems you drive him to the same point you do me, just until we're both ready to toss you on the table and have our ways." He squeezed Philip's hand in his, lightly of course. "But we were both content to wait for you to figure it out on your own." He smiled. "I believe the time for waiting has passed though."
Philip coughed, looking over Derek's head at the door. "Bishop," he said, nodding. "I think you remember both Nick Boyle and Derek Rayne?" The older priest was smiling, nodding. "I'm in deep, aren't I?" That got another nod. "How much trouble am I in?"
"You're going on sabbatical to figure that out," the Bishop said, walking in and shutting the door. "Fortunately, I was the only one that heard that comment but I still would have trouble with the thought of you breaking your vows." He patted Philip's shoulder. "But fortunately, also for you, I have a kind heart and you're going to go back with them to rest and think this through for your six months. As for the hit, I'm quite sure that I don't need to tell you how bad that looks on you, my son."
Philip sighed, nodding. "I know, but listen ta me. I sound like someone else." He looked down. "I am sorry though. Did I hurt him too bad?"
"No, just a crack in his nose." The Bishop was still smiling as he looked at Nick. "I believe that was your tutelage, Mr. Boyle, was it not? I can't remember Father Callaghan being able to fight before."
Nick coughed. "I just wanted him to be able to defend himself. You got to admit, the man needs to too often." He grinned, just a little.
Derek shook his head. "I'm sure Nick is quite embarrassed and Philip has learned his lesson." He looked at his lover, then at his soon to be lover. "I think we should get you both home, you both need your rest." He looked up at the Bishop. "Would that be acceptable to you, for us to take him now?"
"The doctor couldn't find anything wrong with him so I think it should be fine. I'll go find him for you." He turned and walked out, leaving them with privacy and the three embarrassed men looking at each other.
Derek cleared his throat. "Nick, we will discuss this further once we're at home but do call Chicago and have them go check on him. I'm sure someone there would like to take a long trip." He looked at Philip and smiled. "Xander's still away in Nevada at the cabin and Serena snuck away with him." That got him a nod and a small smile. "I'm sure they're fine but I'd like to make sure since Nick mentioned having trouble with them before."
"I'm sure," Philip said. "Tell him I said hello when you go to rescue him." He looked at Nick, smiling at him. "Horseback riding? You really liked that day?" That got him a bright smile and a short nod, Nick holding up a finger.
"Hey, this is Nick from 'Frisco. Yeah, hi. No, you guys are closer to one of our members in Nevada and we wanted to know if one of you could go check on him and his daughter. We haven't heard from him and he tends to get into a little bit of trouble." He smiled and hung up. "Someone will head out tonight. And, they said they're done with the site so most of them were ready to travel anyway." He put the phone back into the pocket. "Yeah, I liked doing that with you. It was a nice day." He took Philip's hand back in his, holding onto it tightly. "We'll go again when you're better." He looked up at Derek and grinned his mischievous little smile that promised fun. "You know, the kids have been asking for a pony and rebuilding the stables wouldn't be that hard." He got a head shake. "But we could all go riding. Think of it, Derek, nice sunlit afternoon rides. Lots of time outdoors to relax and enjoy life." The smile got just a little bigger. "Picnics in the woods where no one can hear us if we get loud."
The oldest man smiled. "We'll see." He frowned as Nick's cell phone rang.
TO BE CONTINUED...