Dean woke up happy.  Very happy.  He looked down at Sam, then checked to make sure Xander was still asleep.  "Dude, again?" he whispered.  Sam did something with his tongue that felt incredible and he came a few minutes later.  "Okay."  He patted his brother on the head until he woke up.  "Do I taste good?"  Sam eeped.  "Feel better?"

"Yeah, a bit," he admitted sheepishly.  "Less unsettled."

"That's fine then.  Go do the morning stuff.  I'll wake her up and we'll go out to breakfast."  Sam nodded, sliding out of the bed to go do that.  Dean shook his head.  His brother was wrong somewhere in his head.  He turned to kiss Xander, waking her up the old fashioned way, with a finger to her clit and her getting hot.  "Morning," he said against her lips.  She purred and gave his shoulders a nudge.  "You sure?"

"It's your fault I had dirty dreams all night."

"Now I'm dream walking?" he teased, moving to suck on a nipple.

"Um-huh.  Lots and lots."  She whimpered and arched up against his hand.  "Dean!  Teasing is bad."

"I'm not teasing.  I'm paying you back for last night since that's why you had dirty dreams all night."  He went to lick her, making her a happy woman.  A very loud, happy woman.  Sam snuck out and it was fine with him.  He was finally starting to get hard again and Xander was making those pretty needy noises he loved.  As soon as he could he surged up and planted himself, riding her hard until she came and let him come.  He kissed her again.  "See, not teasing."

"Hmm.  Good."  She pulled him down for another lazy kiss.  "Nap?"

He laughed.  "Breakfast then a nap?"

"That means I have to move and I'm kinda boneless."

"Then let me shower and you nap until I get out."  She nodded, curling up on her side while he went to take a long, hot shower.  It was a good way to wake up.  A wonderful way to wake up.  Even though he was going to end up smacking Sam around someday soon.  And their father since he knew somehow he was prompting it even if he wouldn't admit it.

***

Dean watched the news the night they got back to the cabin, frowning at the disappearance of young women.  "Xander, your vampire's working overtime."

She came to lean on his shoulder while she watched.  "That's not him.  He's been hitting strip clubs."  She shrugged.  "I'll figure that one out too I guess."  She kissed him on the head.  "Your clothes are in the dryer so I could have the washer."

"Thanks."  He grinned.  This was fairly domestic.  Usually it'd make him cringe but it was only for one night.  He looked at Sam as he came out with the new books to shelve.  "We're not bringing any with us?"

"We don't have a whole lot that'll need it," Sam pointed out.  "It's a standard demon."  He finished shelving and looked at the small collection.  "It seems like we're missing some."

"My duffle bag, Sam."

"Oh, yeah."  He went to get those, nearly dragging the bag back in.  Dean got up to help him lift it onto a table for easy sorting.  That filled up the rest of the bookshelf and a few places on the mantle.  Xander came out with two bags and a backpack.  "Are you sure you want to do it that way, Xander?  Wes didn't like it."

"If he's hunting in strip clubs where else am I going to track him?" she countered, looking at him.  "I'll be safe.  If you guys get done sooner, meet up with me somewhere.  Not like you can't text to see where I am.  The same as I can you."  She tossed a few things in the back of the blazer.  Then she came to open up the weapons cabinet and look at what she had.  Two short swords and a short katana, a few daggers, and a few handguns got put into the carrying cases. The cabinet was closed and those got hiked out to the car as well.  They were locked into their special compartments, the spell over them hiding them as soon as the flap over them was closed.  She went back inside to pack the first aid kit, making Dean happier.  "Need me to pack you one too?"

"We've got a good supply in the car," Dean reminded her.  He put in a tube of muscle rub, getting a grin for that. "You might want the peppermint lotion too."  She tossed in a bottle of that too then it got put into the back of the blazer with the small box of emergency supplies: flares, road blankets, flashers, police scanner.  The blazer was locked and he checked the Impala's supplies, coming in to get some more bandages and a tube of muscle rub of his own.  They got put into their gear box and they were set.  "We need to stop and get bullets, Sammy."

"Quit calling me that," he said while he read something.

"Awwwww.  Does that mean I get to call you that?" she said, kissing him on the forehead.

Sam looked at her.  "No.  He's not even supposed to call me that."  She grinned and pinched him on the nose.  He huffed and scowled.  She grinned brighter.  He pouted.  "Xander!" he complained.

"Poor boy.  Picked on by his big brother, having to put up with his anti-book thing."  Sam snickered at that.  "And now I'm going to steal him into the bedroom so put yourself to bed, Sammy.  Oh, his clothes are in the dryer. Start your own.  I'm not your maid."

"Sure."  He went to do that, ignoring the noises from the bedroom.  The door thumping as he pushed her into it.  His squeal when she bit him for teasing her.  Her cackle when he spanked for it this time.  The bed springs being abused by Dean's very strong thigh muscles.  He slapped himself for that last thought.  She finally squealed and his grunting got quiet suddenly too, then he heard pleased sighs.  He smiled.  Someday he'd have that again.

***

Xander found her mark and watched how he was working.  He wasn't compelling them.  He was convincing them to go with him.  The guy she was having a drink with said something smart so she looked at him.  "He's a bit dangerous, dear.  We have to watch out for him."

"Then why don't you kick him out?"

She pointed at the bottle.  "That's a five hundred dollar bottle of wine.  The owner likes him."  The guy grumbled so she teased his hand, smiling at him.  "I'm worried about the other girls.  That's all.  Forgive me?"

"I guess," he said. "Want to do a hottub?"

"Um, nope.  It'll make it harder for me to dance later on, take out all the stretching I did earlier.  But Gwen," she said, pointing, "or Candy, they like the hottub."  He beamed at that and went to talk to the one coming off the stage.  She finished her drink and got up, strolling back toward the changing area.  The owner cornered her.  "What?"

"I know you're new but to give up your client...."

Xander turned him around and patted him on the cheek.  "What did I say when I came in?"

"You're here looking for someone in particular.  Something about a missing friend.  That you're not going to put yourself in a compromising position."  He grimaced.  "I guess they'll appreciate the extra cash."

"Exactly and I don't need the money, dear.  So therefore I'm watching the expensive guy out there who my friend went with."  He started to look sweaty.  "Come on, we'll talk."  She walked him back to his office, mostly by force, and closed the door.  "You know him?"

"I do.  He's a good tipper.  I can set you up with him for a private dance.  I don't want to lose him though."

Xander stared at him.  That was too easy.  "We'll see.  He hasn't twigged to me yet."

"Good point.  I can suggest it since you're new."

"No, I can draw my own attention."  She left, heading back there to change, putting on a wig as well.  She came out in the thigh-high boots, leopard print wrap dress and red wig.  She made sure it was hitched then selected her music before getting up to do her turn on the stage.  One of the girls said something about her and pointed, then giggled.  She seemingly ignored the table and teased the guys near the stage.  She was very good at this act.  She glanced over, winking at the next girl who was finding what she wanted to dance to.  Then went back to teasing a little tipper so he'd go up from the dollars.  He wouldn't so she moved on.  The guy pouted and she got down to the bikini.  It was a topless club, not full monty, so she was fine with that.  She jiggled her breasts and the guys drooled and wanted to lap.  She got some more tips and shook her butt in one big tipper's face, making him tip her more, then she smiled and strolled off the stage once her last song was done.  She headed into the back to take off the wig and shake her hair out.  It was sweaty.  One of the other girls gave her an odd look.  "Wigs make your hair sweaty."

"That's why most of us grow ours, Alex."

"I hate hair.  Too much hair makes me itch."  She scrunched it a few times then put back on clothes, heading out to sell some more drinks.  The girl from that table invited her over so she walked over, making sure her shield was firm.  "Hi.  Alex," she said, shaking his hand.  "You?"

"Dillan Merres.  You're very good."

"Thank you."

"Did I see you in Los Angeles perhaps?"

"Perhaps.  I did a few nights there when I was stranded.  Blowing off steam mostly."  She crossed her legs, sipping her drink.  "In town on business?"

"Pleasure," he said, staring at her.  "You are very pretty."

"Thank you."

"Do you do privates?"

"Dances yes, anything else no."

"Pity."

"Sorry but I'm rather...tied up by someone."  He swallowed at that and the other girls pouted.  "I'll gladly share the private with another girl if you wanted, Dillan."  She took another sip, then pulled out the cherry to suck on, dipping it back into the drink to suck it off again.  "Up to you."

"Hmm.  Not tonight.  Perhaps tomorrow?"

"I'll be here," she agreed smoothly, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.  "I think I see one of my regulars.  I should go tease him.  I'll see you tomorrow."  She took her drink over there, teasing Sam's neck with a fingernail.  "Long time no see."

"Hmm.  Car broke down."  He grinned at her.  "Dean's off fixing it."

"Pity."  She winked and headed over to the bar, him following.  She hip nudged him.  "So why come in to visit me tonight?"

"Wanted to talk.  Think we could do a private?"  That's what Dean had told him to do.  He had tried to avoid strip clubs unless someone else was paying or he was *really* drunk.

"I can do that but I'm not going to be naughty."

"That's not expected from me.  You know that."  He paid for it and let her lead the way up there.  "Cameras," he said, looking at one.  "Interesting."

"They want to make sure we're not doing dirty things, Sam."  She smirked.  "So, broken?"

"Blew the radiator somehow."  He looked at her.  "Dean said to come talk to you."

"'Bout what?"  She came closer and he blushed.  She leaned down next to his ear.  "Relax, Sam.  It'll look odd if I don't."

He nodded.  "Fine.  Whatever.  He said we needed to talk about your guy."

"My guy?  The pouting one?"

"The one downstairs," he said.  He stared, blinking at what she was doing.  He didn't often get lap dances and most of the time they were fairly lackluster.  This one....  He was about to make an ass of himself with his brother's girlfriend.  He swallowed, staring at her face.  "He says he's dangerous, Alex."

She kissed him on the forehead.  "He might be but we've got to know."

"Good point."  The song ended and she stood up, letting him pant and huff until he could finally control himself again.  "So, since your guy's local, wanna come over?"  Someone knocked.

"Occupied."  The boss came in.  "Hi, bossman.  This is my boyfriend's little brother.  Their car broke down."

"It happens."  He looked at him.  "She's still not allowed to touch you, kid."

"My brother would kick my ass."  He stood up, walking around her.  "We're at the Regent."

"I'm in 221."  He nodded, heading out.  "What's up?"

"Caught the kiss, Alex."  He stared at her.  "You're not the normal stripper."

"You'd be surprised."  She smiled.  "Why?"

"Fine, he said he'd do the private with you tonight as long as you did it with Mercy."

"Isn't she out tonight?"

"She's coming in specially.  He likes leather."

"I can do leather.  I have a killer catsuit."  That got a smirk.  "I do."  She strolled off to put it on and get ready for later.  She needed to stretch a bit.  Her arms were sore.  Her hands were sore.  She saw Mercy come in and waved.  "Hey."

"Hey.  Dillan's back?"  She nodded.  "Wow."  She got dressed in a hurry in a leather bustier and short skirt.  "Can you actually get out of that?"

"Yeah, not that hard."  She stood up and showed the zipper.  "See?"

"If it works for you."  She saw the shoes she stepped into.  "Those are nice."  Alex let her see closer while one was buckled.  "How much did you pay for those?"

"Two hundred."  She finished the other one and stood up, fluffing back out her hair.  She put on a black wig to go with the dark blue leather.  "Come on."  They headed up together, letting her tease one of the guys.  They made it into the room and she leaned against the door while Mercy and he kissed.  She knew this room had a non-working camera.  It's the one the girls who gave the cheap blows used.  She strolled over.  "Hi again."

"Alex."  He looked her over, blinking.  "That shows everything and yet nothing."

"Doesn't it?" she teased, sitting next to him, Mercy getting the other side.  "So, what sort of private did you want, Dillan?"

"Hmm.  You two to dance together?"

"I can do that."  She stood up and pulled Mercy up, letting them do some club dancing and grinding together, stripping each other for his pleasure.  Mercy was purring at her and she felt something.  The shield blocked the warning cramps.  Huh.  She didn't know that.  She gracefully moved out of the top of her catsuit, letting it wiggle its way down her hips until she could step out of it.  He was groaning and teasing himself.  "Naughty you," she said.  He laughed and patted his lap.  Mercy came over to do a lap dance while Xander danced against the pole.  Two vamps and her without a sword, great. Stake yes, sword no.

"Alex, you can join us," he offered.

She strolled over, stepping over the shed clothes.  "I'm still a good girl, Dillan."  She wiggled next to him to dance beside him.  It was as close as she was getting.  Mercy groaned, kissing her.  She kissed back then smiled when the gameface came out.  "Ooh, scary," she said dryly.  Mercy pulled back, giving her a horrified look.  "I saw plenty of you in my hometown, Mercy.  I'm not dinner."

"You do smell very good," Dillan offered, sniffing her neck.  He went for a bite and she slammed her shoulder into his jaw, making him scramble away.  "What are you?"

She stood up and pulled out the very slim stake from her bra holder.  "Special."  She staked Mercy then him.  She waved.  "Bye.  No more eating us."  She got back into her outfit and made sure she was able to move.  The stake went up a sleeve, hitched into the elastic strap she had sewn in there for that purpose.  She strolled out.  "They decided to sneak out, boss."

He looked at her.  "Who are you really, Alex?" he asked.  He moved closer, pushing her into a wall.  "You're not normal."

"I'm from Sunnydale, boss.  Why would I be normal?"  He reared back and she staked him too.  She walked off, heading into the back area, grabbing her bag.  She had the short katana in there.  She smiled at the other girls, one of who hissed.  She stared back.  "Oh, please!  Goddess, girls.  I'm from Sunnydale."  A few ran and she heard metal and bone connect.  She shrugged and headed out the front door, right into an ambush.  The vampires apparently had a large family.  She pulled the sword and waved a hand, dropping the bag.  "Come on then."  A few rushed her and she dusted them, the stake hitting the one who got under her sword's guard.  The rest rushed and some of the people inside.  She got most of them.  A few ran away after a bit.  She felt someone hit her back and glanced back.  "Hi, Sammy."

"Don't call me that!"

"Sorry, dear.  Dean still bored?"

"No.  Not anymore."  He got another one and they finished the club's patrons within a half hour.  He was panting, looking at her.  "That's harder than it looks.  How are you doing it in three-inch heels?"

"Practice."  She looked him over.  "You okay?"

"One tried to bite, I staked him."  He touched his neck.  "I'll be fine."  She grabbed her bag and they headed together.  They went to where Dean was working, finding him shooting wooden bullets, something Riley had given him to test, at a lot of vampires.  She stepped in and Sam followed to guard the doors.  It was a bad fight.  A good half the town showed up to guard their master's lair.  Sam growled and got the last one, turning to find Dean and Xander kissing and one vampire trying to move.  "You missed one."  Xander took the gun and shot without looking, dusting it.  He smiled, shaking his head.  "Guys, let's blow this pop stand?"

Dean looked over at him. "Liked the lap dance?"

"Too much.  Now, can we go before the rest of the town shows up as dead?"  Xander shrugged and they headed off together.  The rooms were quickly packed and gotten out.  They met again at the car.  "Didn't you realize so many of them were dead?"

"The shield that keeps them from feeling me keeps me from feeling them."

"We'll have to work on that," Dean said.

"Car working?"

"Car's being towed back to Bobby's so can we get a ride?"

"Sure, but I'm driving."

"As long as you change shoes," Dean said, getting in to drive.  She shoved him over and got in too.  Sam got into the backseat.  He knew better than to complain.  "Sam, laptop?"  He got that bag from the stairs.  Dean looked at him.  "Did you get bitten?" he demanded.

"Just a bit!"

"My neosporin has holy water," Xander said as she backed out, heading for a safer place.  She pulled off her wig and ran a hand through the sweaty hair.  "Now that I've had my workout for the month," she said dryly.  "Any chance we got caught on camera?"

"I took out the ones at the lair.  At the club?"

"They had some but with so many vamps...."  She backtracked and went to get the tapes, having to kiss the cop that was guarding them.  She snuck off again and smiled at Dean.  He took them to wreck, shaking his head.  "Sorry, lost track."

"You sleep last night?" Sam asked.

"Not really.  I had some funky slayer dreams again.  Mostly about oceans for some reason."  She shrugged, hitting the interstate.  They found a new motel and Dean checked them in.  Xander came in and changed clothes.  Dean gave her a look since she had stolen another pair of his boxers.  "Wes wouldn't let me buy any."

"I can fix that too," he assured her.  He pulled her down to kiss her.  "How did he turn half a town?"

"He was over five hundred.  Plus all the girls he got while traveling around."

"Damn.  That's kinda old," Sam said.  He laid down on Dean's other side.

Xander looked at him.  "Remember, you're my harem, we're not Dean's."  Sam cracked a smile, shaking his head.  "So, how was my lapdance?"

"Not bad," Sam offered with a grin.  "Got me going. Usually the girls don't stare at you that way.  That's gotta be fun for submissive personalities.  Not that I am...."  Dean smacked him on the head.  "Hey!"

"Quit," Xander said before the usual fight could start. "You okay, Dean?"

"I'm just fine.  I tossed in a holy water grenade Riley gave me to test.  You were the one with a sword and a stake."  He looked her over, finding a few cuts and scratches, one bite mark on her shoulder but it wasn't very deep.  A few good bruises coming up.  Sam got the same look over.  He was about the same.  The neosporin got spread around to make sure nothing settled in the bites.  She found one on Dean's ankle so she spread the cream over it. "Good, we're all good."  He turned on the news, letting them watch about the other town.  "We have today and tomorrow here."  They nodded. "Then we've got to do the demon."

"You're not taking the blazer."

"You can go pick up the Impala," Dean offered.  "It'll take a few days for Bobby to put in the new radiator."  He grinned at her.  "Please?"  Xander gave him a look.  "You can drive it to where we are and trade back."

She shook her head.  "My car.  I'll go take care of the demon.  You go wait on the car.  It'll go faster if you help him anyway, Dean."  She kissed him when he started to protest.  "There's the new Rakshasa up north.  Though how an Indian demon got here I'm not sure."

"There's a large immigrant population up there," Sam told her.  "It probably came over with some.  I can't find much that's not myths on them."  Dean looked at him.  "Shape shifters, sometimes human, sometimes not.  Animal heads, pot bellies.  Depends on the type as to whether or not they eat humans. A few types are carrion eaters.  We'd have to find out more about how they're manifesting.  I thought Caleb was going up there."

"They can appear as redheads," Xander said dryly.  They both moaned.  "Yeah, so he's suspicious.  Since they appear as either married husbands or beautiful women, sounds like you two are the better choice."

Dean spanked her gently.  "Fine, we'll do that.  You go do our demon.  We'll meet up somewhere after that?"  She nodded, grinning at him.  "Good, go brush your teeth.  You taste like stale coffee."

"Had to kiss the cop guarding the tapes to get them."  She got up to do that, then came back to cuddle up again.  "Better?" she asked after a new kiss.

"Much," Dean agreed.  They watched a news special coming on.

"In Tableworth there's a massive fire going on," the reporter said, panting slightly from the scene.  "There appears to be three different areas with fires.  One's a warehouse that was converted to living space according to the neighbors.  One was a strip club where a mysterious woman earlier took out a client who had done something wrong.  The other is a fire at the local firehouse itself.  We're on scene."  He got out of the way so they could see the lair going up.  "This is the residential building that went up.  All we know so far is that the town has had a series of disappearances recently and these fires may be related to them.  As to the mysterious stripper at the club earlier no one's sure if she's part of that.  One of the remaining clients seemed to think she was protecting herself."  It cut to the interview with the drunk man saying she was uptight about people touching her and the guy probably did that.  Then back to the reporter.  "We do ask that anyone who has any information on any of these issues call the Tableworth PD at the number flashing on your screen.  Now, back to your regular program.  We'll keep you updated as things happen out here."

Dean turned down the volume.  "Good idea on the wig," he said quietly.  "We'll make sure they don't twig to you."  She nodded, snuggling in.  "We didn't start those fires."

"I know.  Which means the vampires did it to cover something up," Xander said quietly.  "What did I miss?"

"They were probably mad and did it to point at you instead of them," Sam offered.

She shook her head.  "That would've been the lair and the club, maybe.  Not the firehouse."

Dean looked at her.  "Maybe they were involved in the vamp thing?"

"Maybe.  Or maybe they were doing other things."  Another special report came on, basically repeating the same thing.  "Should we call the tip line?"

"No, better not," Dean said.  "They can trace it."  He stroked her back until she unwillingly fell asleep against his shoulder.  He looked at Sam.  "Monitor that and wake me before you fall asleep?"  He nodded, settling in to monitor the news.  It was strange but no one wanted her to worry.

***

Dean looked at the shelf of hair dye, grimacing.  A sales clerk came over to him.  "I think it's great when men decide to cover their gray hairs but there's special stuff just for men, sir."

He gave her a dirty look.  "My sister's being a jerk."

"Oh!  What color is she going?"

"Something other than black."

She giggled.  "What's her skin complexion like?"

"Lightly tanned.  She's got brown eyes if it helps."

"Hmm.  You know that woman on the tv...."

"I know, that's why she's being a jerk.  They think she's her.  Twice now because we're on a post-graduation road trip."

"Ah.  Well, is her hair dark dark black or just over the edge of brown black?"  He gave her another odd look.  "Like yours?"  He nodded.  She picked up a box.  "If she uses this one it'll turn her dark brown with reddish highlights probably."  She showed him the box.  "That's how it changes down.  Does she have long hair?"

"Short and spiky."

"Then it'll grow out looking like sun bleaching within a few months."

He grinned.  "Thanks."  He took the box up to the counter and got her a candybar too.  Xander was being a miserable prick and annoying the hell out of him.  If he got her chocolate she'd let him have sex again and it'd be nicer.  He took the bag out to the blazer and got in, heading back to the motel.  He tapped before walking in, making Sam look at him.  "More cops?"

"No, the last one apparently got the point across."  Dean closed the door.  "Did you get plates?"

"Already done and changed on the blazer," he said, going to hand Xander the bag.  "Here."  He came back to watch the news.  Only one person's body had been found in the fire, at the firehouse itself.  Then the investigating Feds had come in and found the drug lab.  He frowned at that, sitting up.  "Drug lab?"

"Drug lab," Sam agreed.  "Huge drug lab."  He smirked at him.  "They're not looking for her anymore.  They think she found out and ran after having to protect herself.   The rest of the town was in on it and they're the ones who set the fires after some major falling out that resulted in half the town dead."  Xander came out with smelly stuff in her hair.  "Eww."

"Tough."  She sat down on the bed.  "Thank you, Dean."

"Welcome.  She said that should grow out like sun highlights, whatever those are."

She held up a strand of his hair.  "That's where the sun bleaches you down a few shades."

"Yeah, well, she suggested I was buying one to cover gray hair."

She looked.  "I don't see any yet."

"Thank God," he muttered, laying down again.  "That stuff stinks, Xander."

"Sorry."  She got up and went to sit in the other chair.  "Twenty minutes," she said at Sam's dirty look.

He shook his head.  "How do women do this all the time?"

"Buffy said she puts a few packs of sweet and low into the bleach she uses to keep her hair from being fried."  Sam gaped.  Dean gaped.  "You guys thought she's a natural blonde?"  They nodded.  "No.  She's about the middle picture on the box naturally."  She got it to show them.  "She's a Cali princess so of course she's a blonde now."

Dean shook his head.  "I'm horrible at spotting the good dye jobs.  She had real boobs, right?"  Xander nodded.  "Well, at least I didn't miss on those."

"I don't see how you can tell."

"Some are *really* bad," she told him.  "I've seen so many bad boob jobs in the clubs.  I hear Vegas is fake tit central."  She sat down again.  The box went beside her so she could read the warning label.  "As long as I'm not bald after this."

"Why can't they make the stuff not stink?" Sam asked.

"They make herbal stuff without ammonia.  It doesn't work as well according to Buffy.  This stuff stinks but it's permanent."  Dean shook his head quickly.  "With the way my hair grows out it'll be back by winter."

"As long as you're not bald.  I'd never let you do anything then."

Xander looked at him and his smug look.  "One candy bar does not make me a happy Xander.  Two candy bars...."  He sighed and got her one of the granola bars.  He got kissed.  "After I wash the gunk out.  That way I'm all squeaky clean."

"I could like that," he agreed more happily.  She nibbled on the granola bar.  "I called Bobby on the way to the store.  He got the Impala.  He said someone shot the radiator.  He pulled the bullet for us."  Sam shook his head, going back to his reading.  "What are you reading now?"  He held up the book.  "I can't see it that far away, bitch."

"Jerk," he muttered.  "Dante's Inferno."

"The first layer is LA in the summer," Xander said dryly.  "That's why all the demons leave for somewhere less hot."  Both boys laughed.  "Even we had a slow down during the summer because they all left to escape the heat.  Even the vamps.  Apparently they headed north.  The plant demons headed this way.  The other ones headed for Texas."

"I knew they had a surge," Dean complained.

Xander looked at him.  "I was doing some research into other areas that have hellmouths.  Did you know there was one in Cleveland?"

"Cleveland?" Sam asked.  "Who goes to Cleveland?"  She shrugged.  "Any others in the US?"

"One just south of the Texas border in Mexico.  It's tiny and barely collecting any power.  They don't think it'll ever open.  The one in Cleveland apparently shut some few centuries back and then the Sunnydale one opened.  So they're not sure if it'll open again some year."

"Yeah, that'll be a huge loss," Dean said, shaking his head.

"It's a semi-major city," Xander pointed out.  "If we had to evac Sunnydale it'd take us more than a day.  Look at how long it takes to evac a city like Miami for hurricane season.  It could be a lot of lost lives."

"Yeah but no one's going to go to Cleveland and open one," Dean complained.  "There hasn't even been trouble there."

"There's a good ghost culture," Sam said, turning the page on his book.  "There's also an underground art and music scene but it's fairly small."

"In *Cleveland*?"

"Yeah, the ones who got tired of rain in Seattle moved there," Xander told him.  Dean shook his head quickly and went back to the news.

"Hasn't it been twenty minutes yet?" Sam complained.

"It hasn't even been five yet, Sam," Xander said, finishing her granola bar.  "Oh, there is one in Canada.  It's more likely to open.  Second highest on the list after Cleveland.  It's up near the Arctic Circle."

"Way too much snow for the Impala," Dean muttered.  "Even in the summer probably."

"The natives keep it closed?" Sam asked.

"No but they have the Council's number if it starts to activate.  Giles was telling Buffy that when I called.  Buffy said she's afraid of snow after our nightmare snow.  Faith said she hates snow after living in Boston.  So I got nominated if that happened."

"Have fun," both boys said in unison, Sam waving a bit.  She swatted him.

Dean shook his head.  "Are you sure it has to be twenty minutes?"

"It should be forty," she said bluntly.  "I have short hair so it said I can test a strand at twenty."  They both groaned and got up, heading out to do something.  That way the stink wouldn't kill them.  She shook her head, going to get a soda from the machine.  She came back sipping it, weathering the odd looks.  "Breakfast."   The old lady just snorted and huffed off.  She locked the room's door behind her, smiling at the keys sitting on the table.  Well.  That was great.  They'd have to knock and she could make them get dinner too.  When her watch beeped she went to test a strand, then grimaced and had to let it sit for another few minutes.  She hated the smell as much as they did but she couldn't escape it.

***

Dean got out of the cab, paying the driver as soon as he had his bags.  "Thanks, dude."  He headed up to the porch then out to the garage.  "Xander's a brat."

"I heard about that town."

"Full of vamps," he said dryly.  "She took Sam to do the demon while I do the Rakshasa up north.  She refused to let me change cars."

Bobby laughed.  "Some girls are possessive of what's theirs.  You okay?"

"I'm fine.  I hate greyhound."  That got a nod and Bobby let him see what he had done to his baby so far.  "Any idea who shot at me?"

"No.  Not yet."  He patted him on the back.  "Dave's going to be all right.  He's awake now."

"That's good.  Is he babbling at the stars?"

"Yup.  Then again, for Dave that's almost normal.  Jim's been helping him when he can.  They moved him nearer to where he is.  The whole town?"

"Yeah, all but about five residents were vamps.  A lot of them were running a drug lab, had been for over a decade.  The Feds were not impressed and they don't want Xander anymore.  She's still got her hair different."  That got a nod.  "Anyway," he sighed.  "Let me help?"

"Of course, boy."  He gave him a wrench.  "Do the bolts over there."  Dean nodded, getting under the hood to get those bolts.  That way they could take out the damaged radiator.  "How's her blazer running?"

"Crappy.  Her timing sounds off.  I pointed that out and she gave me this very confused look.  She can change the tires and oil but the rest of the car's structure goes past her."

"You'll teach her."

Dean looked at him.  "Am I in this for the long haul?"

"Could you pick up waitresses on the way here?"

"Not taking the bus."

"Dean."

He sighed, shaking his head.  "No," he muttered.  "And she's the one who said to keep it casual.  She promised not to get clingy and then it's me who breaks that."

"A guy in love is a force of nature.  Look at all the songs written about you guys."

"Don't remind me.  Sam was joking and reading parts of _Romeo and Juliet_.   I had to keep reminding him I wasn't going to drink poison and we weren't going to sneak off to get married.  Our families didn't mind.  Then Dad showed up and said he didn't mind either."  He shook his head at the laughter.  "Xander found the capturing urn she had bought and opened it next to him.  He fled back to bother Buffy for a while.  Did you know she's not a natural blonde?"

"If it's skillful the only way to tell is the bikini line," Bobby reminded him.

"No, you can dye that too," Dean said dryly.  Bobby burst out laughing.  "We caught Xander doing hers so it'd match.  Honestly.  Eyebrows too.  Sam was *so* embarrassed.  He went to sleep in the blazer that night."

"You get any?" he asked with a smirk.

"She ended up shaving instead so yes."  That got another laugh.  "I'm so screwed, aren't I?"

"Nah, she ain't here."

Dean punched him on the arm.  "I don't need it that often."

"Uh-huh.  Sure you don't."

"I don't!"  He got the last bolt undone and put it aside, helping him lift out the radiator.  "Scrap metal or do you think it can be fixed?"

"I think I can weld it shut if you wanted me to.  Or we can strip the other Impala of a part."

"Let's try to fix it first," Dean decided.  "It's an original part."  That got a nod and Bobby went to get the welding gear.  He patted his poor car.  It'd be better soon.  Then they'd be on the road so he could take care of the funky shape-changing demon.  Then he could chase his family.  Because Xander had heard something about an incubus that was playing around and wanted to go see if they were real.  "Xander and Sam were talking about other hellmouths," he said when Bobby came back.

"Why?"

"Did you know there was one in Cleveland?"

"Why?"

"I don't know.  There's one up by the Arctic Circle in Canada.  One just below the Texas/Mexico border too.  Why anyone would want to take over Cleveland I'm not sure."

"Maybe they like the teams?" Bobby suggested.

"Maybe.  I don't."  He got down to hold the radiator steady while Bobby got to work fixing it.  It was going to be a long few days.

***

Dean finally found his brother and Xander at a dance club a week later.  He tapped Sammy on the shoulder, giving him a look.  He got a hug for it.  "Long week?" he said over the music.  Sammy nodded, dragging him over to where Xander was dancing.  He slid through the people, walking up behind her to get her back, glaring at the man who was trying.  The guy backed off because that was a possessive look.  He moved with her, making her stiffen.  "Morning."

"It's dark out, were you turned?" she joked over the music.  "I'd hate to have a replay of Buffy's love life."

"You know better than that," he assured her, letting her turn around to hug him.  He grinned at the guy over her shoulder.  "Old friends."  She hissed something in his ear and he sighed.  "You sure?"  She nodded, looking at him.  "Fine."  He smirked at her.  "Naughty you," he mouthed.  She shrugged and went back to dancing with him, making him dance too.  He checked but Sammy was being hit on by a few cute coeds of the sorority sister persuasion.   He shrugged it off and put a tracker on her, letting her go play with the incubus across the club.  He went to get a beer, it was going to be a fun night.  A light hunt, then some fun with Xander and then napping and seeing if Sammy's strange dreams were gone.  He watched as the incubus enthralled Xander, subtly following them out.  The small warehouse wasn't unexpected since demons seemed to like them so he climbed up onto an overlook.

He got a good view when the incubus led her back to where he was hiding the other women.  They were having an all-female orgy apparently.  Dean blinked a few times, smiling at the video camera.  Well, some people were going to have fun but he'd be taking the tape.  A few were begging the incubus for another infusion.  He knew that meant that the demon was tainting them through his seed.  Soon they'd either die or turn into succuba.  Xander was still enthralled and playing with the other girls.  It was very hot.  The pack of them were writhing, touching, lapping, begging for more.  He was getting hard just watching it.  He pulled something out of his pocket.  He had wondered why Tara sent him this.  He set it off and the demon froze.  The women didn't.  Dean strolled down there, smirking at him.  "Hi, how are you?"

"I'll get you.  They came willingly."

"I doubt the slayer did."  He stared at him, then felt a form against his back, looking back at Xander.  "Hi."

"Hi."  She grinned and handed him something.  "It has a binding on it."  Dean looked at the small leather band with a snap on it.  She huffed and put the cockring on him herself, making the demon howl.  She smirked at him.  "You know why they're tainted?"

"They're virgins and without the touch of seed of a mortal man they'll turn," Dean said.  He looked around.  He had heard he had ten, which meant probably six-to-eight usually in reality.  This time he had thirteen.  "Mystical even."  He kissed Xander and she broke free.  "Help me?"

"Call Sammy?"

"Calling Sammy," he agreed, calling him.  One of the women made a grab for him.  "Let me make a call and there'll be another one here."  She mouthed his cock though his jeans and he let her.  It was all good to him and Xander didn't mind.  She was playing with a girl who was saying she needed the incubus' seed.  "Sammy, me.  Trace the thing I put on Xander.  Mortal women with an incubus.  About to be turned.  Yeah."  He hung up and let himself be pulled down.  They'd still need more.  "Hmm, how to touch you?" he said, sounding happy.  It was almost two in the morning. There was no way he could come ten times by sunrise.  Xander leaned over to kiss him.  "Spraying work?"

"As long as it's on them, in them, or infecting them."

"So...  We can let them share."  He let the girls have him.  Sammy walked in and a few ran over to grab him and pull him down too.  "Make sure they're all hit, Sammy."  He moaned and whimpered but the girls were insistent.  One was on the incubus anyway, begging for more.  "He can't."  The demon started to get loose but Xander muttered something and he froze again.  Dean did his best.  There were still a few who hadn't been sprayed with any seed yet so his last one he let them share.  Xander let a few lap it out of the other girls.  The demon came free about five but the woman on him was still begging.  Magical cock rings - he'd have to be wary of those in the future.  "Xander?"

"She's fully gone over, Dean.  I don't know."  She came over to kiss him, letting him tease her.  "Hey!  Tired."

He smirked.  "Me too.  Sammy?"  He heard a weak moan and looked over.  One still was begging for it.  He pointed her at one of the girls, letting her go lap some off her.  As the sun came up those who were anointed fell asleep.  The demon broke free one last time.

Xander reached over to unsnap the cock ring and let him come for a second then snapped it again, making him howl.  "Have fun."  He and the girl disappeared.  She'd be back and they'd take care of it then.  She flopped down on Dean's thigh, looking at him.  "I'm exhausted."

"Yeah."  He looked at his little brother. "Sammy, you alive?"  He got a weaker moan.  He and Xander made themselves get up and check on him.  One of the girls was still trying to suck him.  "Let him sleep for an hour, ladies.  He'll be fine then."  He stroked her until she came and went limp across Sammy's chest.  Then they grabbed their clothes and headed out.  Dean looked at her boxers, well his boxers, and walked her to over to a store.  "I don't care what Wesley said.  Go buy your own."  He shoved her inside and waited until she came out with a bag.  Then they walked back to the hotel together.  He flopped down face first on the bed.  "I'm never doing it that way again.  I'll save up some beforehand and anoint that way."

She yawned.   "It was nearly as good as the first time Anya got any in twelve hundred years."  She laid down next to him.  "Sam knows where we are."  He nodded at that.  She yawned again.  "I swear, when she got it for the first time she didn't stop for a day.  I nearly died.  She did a stamina enhancing spell on me.  Thank God it grew since then."  He chuckled weakly.  She kissed him on the ear. "Aren't you glad I'm not that horrible?"  He nodded slowly, falling asleep right there.  She got up long enough to switch the new boxers for his old ones then laid back down and went to sleep.  It had been a while since she'd had that much sex.  She almost felt like Anya at the moment.

***

Dean woke up in bed alone.  "Don't tell me she went for a run," he muttered. He grabbed his bag and headed for the shower, coming out to get dressed.  He saw the boxers carefully folded on top and pulled one up.  Mickey Mouse.  The next was Brainy Smurf.  The one after that was Smurfette.  The other pair in there was Kermit and Miss Piggy.  He sighed and decided commando was a good choice for today until he could steal his back from his girlfriend.  It was definitely time to look into spanking her.  He checked her bag but no boxers in it.  He glared at the doorway.  "I'll get her yet."  Sammy wobbled in and collapsed on the bed. "You're just now getting back?"  Sammy nodded, thumping his head on the bed. "Get more?"

"Shut up," he croaked.  "I'm never playing with a sex demon again.  Or Anya."

Dean laughed.  "Where is Xander?"

"Gone.  She drove me back and said she'd meet us at the cabin.  If she forgot anything to bring it with us."  He looked at Dean.  "Usually I can see your boxers in those.  Don't tell me you're going commando."  Dean handed over the Smurfette boxers.  "Never mind.  She's mean to you.  Let me sleep?"

"Yeah, you can sleep, Sammy."  He needed a nap too and there were two beds this time, it was a miracle.  He laid down on the other one and fell asleep that way.  It was a long drive back to the cabin.  He needed his rest for spanking.

***

Dean got out of the car, looking around.  No Xander.  The blazer was there but no music, no Xander, no sign of Xander.  He dropped her bag inside and still no Xander. So he went to the next likely place, the pond.  She was swimming around.  He stripped down and dove in, swimming over to where she was.  He pulled her against him and spanked her good three times.  "My boxers?"

She grinned.  "I got told all girls borrowed.
 
"You didn't borrow, you stole, Xander."

"Nah-uh, I replaced them."

"With cartoons.  Do I really look like a guy who wears cartoon boxers?"  She nodded, beaming a bit.  She dove down and pinched him on the thigh before swimming off.  "That won't save you."  She climbed out the other side and he got out the nearest spot he could.  "I want them back, Xander."

"I gave you new ones!" she called.  He started to move.  She moved the opposite direction.  He stared at her.  "I think you'd look cute in Miss Piggy.  I always thought she was sweet on Fozzy really instead of Kermit.  Denied longing and all that."

"Did the incubus take some sanity?"  He moved and she moved the opposite direction.  "Xander," he growled.  She giggled.  He ran and she ran faster.  He changed direction and so did she.  "Sam!"  He came out to watch, shaking his head and walking off.  "You're my brother, help me here please!  Unless you want me to go commando for the rest of the year?"

"No comment," Sam called back, waving over his shoulder as he went inside to start dinner.  He heard a splash but Xander was back in the pond and Dean was diving in after her.  She got out and ran for the woods.  "Nymphs," Sam muttered, going back to cooking.  She ran through the house but Dean was out front so she ran back through, heading out the back and back into the woods.  He took off after her, Sam still cooking and laughing.  She yelped.  "Guess he caught her."  She yelped again and he laughed.  "Finally, a good spanking."  Dean yelped.  "Or not."  She came back out of the woods, picking burrs as she ran.  Sam laughed.  That was too funny.  He needed video of this.  He'd have to photoshop clothes on them but Tara would love this.  Dean picked off the last burr as he ran after her, dodging around the cars.  He tried to sneak around but she dove and rolled under the blazer and came out the other side, heading into the woods on that side of the driveway.  Dean chased her, having less to make up this time.  He still wasn't catching her.

"Get out of that tree before I chop it down, Xander!" Dean shouted.  Sam burst out laughing, leaning on the stove while he cackled.  No, Dean wasn't about to climb a tree naked.  Dean stomped up the porch stairs and Sam pointed when he saw Xander take off again.  Dean growled, heading after her.  This time he caught her on the equipment and pounced, ramming her into one. A shift to make her lean over it with her feet off the ground.  A good spanking until her butt was pink.  Then he slid inside her to teach her better.  "Do not take my clothes.  Or give me cartoon boxers," he said as he thrust, spanking her a few more times.  She was making whimpering noises.  "Are we clear?"

"I think they're cute.  I would've worn them," she defended.  He spanked her again and shifted how he was thrusting into her, making her tense up and try to get him deeper.  "Dean!"

He came and pulled out, pulling her down to look at her.  "I should leave you hanging.  I had to go commando for three states, Xander."  She kissed him and moved his hand down.  "Ah!"  She pouted.  "Never again, right?"

"But they're cute."

"I'm not a cartoon guy."

She pouted.  "Not even for me?"

"No, not even for you."  She pouted worse.  "Tell me you didn't replace the ones here?" he begged.  She nodded slowly, giving him the puppy eyes.  He growled.  "Xander!"  She got free and headed inside, locking herself in the bigger bedroom.  He stomped that way, pounding on the door.  "Give them back!"

"No!  They're mine now!"

Dean pounded again then he heard her moaning and whimpering noises.  "You still can't do it yourself, Xander."  He heard her come and sighed, leaning his head on the door.

"Cartoon boxers aren't *that* bad or evil," Sam said, patting him on the back.  "Put on clothes.  Xander, dinner's in about ten minutes."   She let out a loud squeal.  "Never mind, I'll try to defend you some from Dean's stomach."  He went back to the kitchen.  "Dean, clothes?"

"I can't wear Smurf boxers!"  A pair was slid under the door.  Scoobie Doo.  "Not much better.  That was your team, not mine!"  His answer was a pant and begging whimper from inside the bedroom.  He went to get his jeans and t-shirt from the pond and put them on once he was on the porch.  Without the boxers.  He was not wearing cartoon boxers.  Not even when Xander slid out a note saying he wasn't getting sex again until he did.  He could do without.  Even if three days later he was crawling the walls without having any.   He was getting soft in his old age.  That's the reason he was going insane without sex.  It had to be.  Either that or Xander was ruining him.  Even Sammy wasn't doing his usual sleep groping thing.  He was frustrated and snarling.  His father got growled at when his ghost showed up.  Sammy got growled at and nearly cried earlier that morning because they were out of coffee.  At least that had been easily fixed.  He pinned Xander against the fridge, kissing her.  "I don't like cartoons."

"I do.  I think they're cute."

"I'm not cute, Xander.  I'm manly, I'm macho, I'm a stud.  I'm not cute."  He took another kiss but she pushed him off.  "Oh, come on!"

"Nope.  I want you to wear them."  She pouted.  "Other guys do stupid things and it's not like anyone's going to see them."

"I will!"

"Who cares what you're wearing on your ass, Dean?"

"I do."  He stared at her.  She huffed.  He glared.  Then he turned and walked out.  "Fine, I'll be getting supplies.  You clearly need midol or something."  He slammed the front door.  She must've been talking to Faith or someone again.  Or reading Cosmo.  The last time she had done that he had to take it and throw it out before she tried one of those positions that would've killed their backs.  He calmed down enough to drive and get groceries, coming back to find the blazer gone and Sam sitting on the front porch.  He got out.  "What?  She changed the locks?"

"Drove off in a snit.  Good going.  I'd apologize.  Soon.  Wear whatever she wants.  Women have this habit of making you prove things when they get insecure, Dean."  He stood up and came down to look at his brother.  "I know you've never had a long term thing but Xander wants some sort of proof that you're not just in it for the sex at the moment.  I don't know what got into her.  She wouldn't tell me yesterday or today."

"Probably Cosmo," he said grimly, glaring at the driveway.  "Where did she go?"

"I have no clue.  She threw a bag into the blazer and headed out."  Dean groaned.  "Do you still have the GPS chip on it?"  He nodded, taking the spoilable things inside to put up and then coming out with the monitor and a bag for each of them, tossing Sam his.  "Did you have to complain?"

"It's embarrassing!"

"It's boxers, dude.  Unless you're going to start playing around again, who's going to care?"  Dean glared at him.  "Listen," he said, leaning on the hood.  "You haven't picked up anyone in months.  She hasn't picked up anyone in months.  Outside of that incubus episode, you've been monogamous.  I know it's a shock but you have been."  Dean slumped.  "For some reason she wanted a harmless bit of proof that you could joke with her as well as make her squeal in pleasure. The fact that she hasn't looked into that rite because she's scared of what *you'll* think says something to me, big brother."

"Yeah, you need laid."

"I've had sex recently.  Remember, I've actually lived with a woman before. You haven't.  Take the advice.  When we find her, wear them."  He slid into the car.  Dean grumbled but slid in too.  He turned on the monitor.  "She's headed west."

"Probably headed to see Tara then."  He backed the car down the driveway and headed west too.  They could push themselves faster than she would.  Especially since the blazer had an engine that was about to explode by what he'd heard the last time she'd started it.  "How's her engine?"

"Weak," Sam said honestly.  "Bobby wouldn't let her drive it without someone looking at it."

"Wonderful.  We'll know if she breaks down at least."  He pulled onto the main road and sped up but a set of flashing lights went off behind him.  "What now?"  He stopped and rolled down the window.  "I know I was speeding already.  She ran off and we're chasing her."

"That's fine.  We need someone to come talk to the trash demons.  They're annoying people."

"Fine, sure, we can do that," Dean agreed, heading that way.  She had scouted where they were nesting.  He pulled into the trash compactor area, finding them off to the side.  He got out and walked over there.  "You're annoying people."  The demon frowned at him.  "Don't even, I know you understand English even if you can't speak it.  Remember, the deal was no annoying people.  One of the locals said you were?"  The demon shrugged a bit, pointing at a younger one that was presently humping an old abandoned car.  Dean groaned.  "Well make him stop!"  He looked at the trash guy.  "Take the car and crush it if there's nothing inside."

Sammy came out and pulled him off, going to talk to the demon humping the car.  A few minutes later it stopped and trudged back to the rest of the family.  He came over to talk to the mother looking one.  She was breastfeeding a young one, he'd consider her female.  She nodded at what he said and said something to the males, who all huffed but they moved farther away from the trash compactor area and further into the trees.  They took some of the trash with them but no one was going to complain.  He looked at the humans.  "Better?"

"What did you say?"

"That humans were squeamish about some things.  Including sex and feeding babies.  That they did it under cover of dark, out of public, and never let anyone watch unless there was something wrong with them.  That upsetting you guys meant that they'd have to find a new nest.  I suggested moving it to where you guys couldn't see it.  That good?"

"That's fine," one said, grinning at him.  "Where's Alex?"

"She and Dean had a fight so she ran off," he said sotto voice.  That got a nod.  "So we're going to find her now."

Dean glared at him.  "It's not my fault she went strange suddenly."

"Dean, it's only cartoon boxers," he complained.

One guy nodded.  "My wife did that to me.  I ended up proposing to make her realize I did love her.  Yours probably just needs a nudge though.  Mine's a shrew."

"Mine's strange.  Very strange."  Dean got into the Impala with a wave.  "Let us know if there's more problems."  The juvenile one came out to grab the car and drag it off to the woods.  He sighed, shaking his head.  The other guys just shrugged it off and went back to work.  They could handle that as long as they didn't have to see it.  They got back onto the interstate.  "Did you have to tell them that?" he asked finally.

"Yes.  That way everyone knows why we're chasing her and they'll help by calling us if they hear from her."

"Whatever," Dean muttered.  He sped up.  It was going to be a long drive and Sam could take over when he was tired.

***

Xander showed up at Tara's dorm room, sniffling.  "I suck.  I managed to make him pissed at me."

She gave her a hug.  "No you don't suck," she assured her.  She pulled her inside.  "I have a final in ten minutes."

"You go.  I'll veg."  She nodded, taking what she needed to take her test.  Xander laid down on her bed, getting comfortable with her bear.  She heard someone come near the door and knock politely on it.  She ignored it.  She wasn't talking to Sam.  Someone pounded.  Or Dean.  There was quiet for a minute and then the knob rattled.  She snuck over to put on the chain then went back to laying down with the teddybear.  Obviously one of them heard because they stomped off.  Xander pulled over the spell she had Tara research, reading what she had gotten so far.  She heard someone with a key an hour later and got up to check, letting her inside. "Sorry."

"Not a problem."  She closed the door and put on the chain, looking at her buddy.  "What happened?"

"I gave him cartoon boxers.  He'd rather go naked than wear them.  He spanked me."  Tara got that scary look.  "It was fun."

"I don't care.  I'll talk to him."  She looked at the reading material.  "There's a hitch."

Xander shrugged.  "He doesn't seem to give a damn so why would it matter if I'm male or female?"

"You'd only be male on the full moon.  All three days."

"So I'd be a weremale?" she asked, cracking a smile.  Tara nodded.  "But I'd have my full body back?"  She nodded.  "Would I still be a slayer those three days?"

"I don't know.  Giles didn't either."  She sat down next to her and cuddled.  "It'll be okay. You didn't really screw it up.  If he dumps you because you tried to make him wear cartoon boxers he's not worth it."  Xander shook her head.  "Here, you pout with my bear.  I've got to pack for the summer."  She got up to help her pack, even hefting the boxes down to the blazer so she could help her move.  Tara left her at her summer apartment then went to see Giles, finding the boys there.  She swatted Dean.  "If you break up for such a stupid reason I'm going to spank you back!"  He scowled.  She glared back, tapping a foot.  "You hurt her!  She thinks you don't like her at all!"  She stomped off, going to talk to Giles.  "We're going over the spell later."  He smiled and nodded.  "Did the idiots tell you what this was about?"  He smirked and nodded.  "Did Ethan give them stupid candy?"

"No, I'm afraid this a young man's bane, Tara.  We're all confused when these things happen.  I nearly ended up married trying to prove I loved my former girlfriend when she tried to get me to do other things for her."  She rolled her eyes.  "Perhaps you should explain it to them?  It might help."

She stomped back out there, finding Dean looking miserable.  She swatted him again, getting a yelp.  "Sometimes girls need reassurance you're not just there for the sex, Dean.  Even Xander.  Especially since she's considering doing the spell that would make her a guy for three days a month.  You made her cry."

"Where do women get these ideas?"

"They occur to all of us when we have doubts.  It's not like you guys usually say what you're thinking and the tougher the guy the less you say it.  We have to find out somehow.  Like making you wait during a date, why bother with the guy who won't?"

"I knew she got this from Cosmo."

She swatted him again.  "No, she didn't.  They're cartoons!  How harmful is it?  Is it going to sap your macho strength?  All she wanted was once."

"She would've laughed."

"Happy laughter, Dean.  Not laughing at you.  Dumbass."  She covered her mouth.  "I shouldn't say those words."

Sammy got up and walked her off.  "I understand. I was living with Jess when she died.  She kept trying to fuss me into a suit now and then."

"She probably wanted to go out somewhere."

"She did.  What do cartoon boxers mean?"

She smiled.  "That you can have fun with her.  More than...bedroom fun."  He nodded at that.  "He really hurt her.  She said it didn't matter if she did the spell or not."

"We'll talk to her.  Or I'll lock them in a closet or something."  He looked back but his brother was gone.  "She at your dorm?"

"I moved to my summer place."

"Huh."  He texted that to Dean, getting back nothing.  "I guess he saw."  He shrugged and grinned at her.  "Need more help?  I remember moving every other semester unfondly."

"Xander helped me.  She's curled up with my teddy bear thinking about the spell."

"You have teddy bear?" he asked with a grin.

She nodded, looking serious.  "Willow gave it to me.  He helped her pick it out."

"Oh."  He texted that as well, getting back a 'stay there'.  He shook his head.  "Come on, I'll help you clean at least."  She nodded, going with him.  The other two could deal with each other.  If they ended up in jail for the fight, someone would bail them out.  Probably.  They might laugh but probably.

***

Dean saw the blazer and walked into the building, up to where he could hear nothing.  The other apartments were clearly occupied.  He tapped on the door.  "Xander?"  He knocked again. "Xander?"  She was hiding and that was a bad thing.

A young woman leaned out from across the hall.  "There's a girl named Tara moving in there, buddy."

"I know, Xander's her friend and was helping her move.  She's napping."

"I heard movement.  Don't wake up the landlord, he's a grouch and might evict Tara.  She seemed sweet."

"I won't.  Thanks."  She nodded, pulling back inside.  He looked around then pulled out his bootknife, using it to open the door.  He walked in and shut it, looking around the apartment.  His father faded in.  "Butt out, Dad."

"Don't touch the bear, son.  It's the last thing Tara has of Willow."  He faded out.  His son had to figure this one out for himself.  Women were more complicated than demons, not less.  It had taken him time too.  Though his wife kept trying to get him to buy her weapons.

Dean headed back to the bedroom, finding Xander asleep on the bed.  He grimaced, trying to move the bear to safety.  She clutched it.  "Fine, I won't touch the bear."  He sat behind her, poking her until she looked at him.  "If you *ever* get a stupid idea out of Cosmo again I'm going on a six month trip."

"You don't want to do more than have sex anyway.  Why would it matter?"

He huffed  "I do want more than that, Xander.  Though I could've sworn we said *casual*."  Xander waved a hand at him.  "I don't understand that version of sign language."  She flipped him off.  "That one I understand."  He stared at her.  "Either flip over and talk to me or I'm walking out."  She waved her hand again.  "Fine."  He stood up and headed for the door.  Nothing.  He took a deep breath.  She wasn't going to stop him. "Why is it so damn important?" he demanded, turning to look at her.  He was trying to keep his voice down.

"Even Anya could laugh with me and appreciate some of my sense of humor.  More than my ass."  She curled up a bit tighter.

"I usually like your sense of humor," he complained, coming back in there.  He stared down at her, arms crossed over his chest, feet spread slightly apart.  "We laugh at the same shows.  I get your jokes.  Why is this one thing so important?"

She looked at him.  "Do I wear stuff for you?"

"I hardly ever ask. You took every single pair of boxers I owned, Xander."

"So buy more."  She flipped in the other direction.  She was still hugging the bear.

He stared at it.  "Let me have the bear.  Tara threatened my life if it got hurt."

"I'm not hurting it."

"I want to talk to you and not it."

"Am I holding it up so you're only talking to it?"

"No," he said calmly.  "If you were doing that I'd come back in an hour once you had calmed down."

"That would be one of those times you walk out and don't come back," Xander said firmly.

"Okay, got that."  He sat behind her, staring out the window.  "I don't like cartoons.  I think they're silly.  I didn't watch them all that often when I was a kid.  Sam did and I had to watch him watch them."

Xander looked at him.  "That's screwed up."

"You knew Dad did it strangely when you met us, Xander.  The same as I know your parents did."

"It was a good babysitter.  Kept me quiet and out of the way."

"Which is still screwed up."  He leaned closer.  "Can I please put the bear somewhere safe?"  She shook her head.  "Please?  You're disturbing me by cuddling the stuffed animal."

"It's a teddybear."

"Again, something I haven't had."

Xander glared at him.  "I did."

"Are we sure we don't need an exorcism or something?"  He stood up and walked around to look at her.  "You're in a bad mood and this time you didn't drink.  I'm happy you didn't, but if you don't talk to me I can't help."  Xander shrugged.  "Fine, you know what?  I'll be at Giles' place.  Whenever you're ready to talk, come find me."

"I've already said it, Dean.  You weren't listening."

"Obviously this is a female to male translation error," he said sarcastically, staring at her.  "What did you do when Anya made this sort of demand to you?"

"It wasn't a demand."

"It was.  You took them all."

"And you didn't buy any more."

"I didn't want to shop."  He sat down in front of her.  "What did you do when Anya did this?"

"She didn't.  That's how I know she wasn't going to last with me."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "Well, I'd like to but right now you're creeping me out."  Xander kicked him.  "Ow!"  He glared.  "No slayer strength in bed, Xander."  She stuck her tongue out.  "Are you regressing?  I can't handle you being a toddler."  She kicked him again.  "Fine.  Come find me at the store."

"Bye."

Dean stared at her.  "That's it?"

She sat up.  "I've already told you.  You weren't listening."  She stared at him.  "You can't blame me for you not listening."  She laid back down, curling up in a little ball in the other direction, still hugging the teddy bear.  He huffed off.  She sniffled and squeezed the bear tighter.  "He'll never understand me if he won't now."

Dean stomped out of the building and paused, glaring up at the window for Tara's place.  He wanted to go back up there.  His instincts were screaming that if he left they were done for.  He hesitated.

His father faded in.  "The instinct is correct, son," he said patiently.  "If you leave now, you're never going to see her again.  No one will.  She'll go into real hiding.  She'll hide the cabin with magic, and no one will ever find her."

"Did Mom do this to you?"

"Twice.  The first time you came about.  The second Sam did."  Dean groaned, rubbing his forehead.  "She wants to know that you appreciate her and like her, not just that the sex is good.  Which you didn't hear, son."

"We laugh at the same things!"

"Which is great, but that's not really a base for a relationship."

"We're not like that!"

"Son, she gave you what you wanted.  She's asking for a bit of reassurance that you'd be willing to do things for her too.  In this case, be a bit silly so she has some humor in her eternal fight."  He floated closer.  "You've hurt her.  A lot.  It was good between you.  Did you really want to lose that and go back to only having Sammy?"

"No," he said, sounding miserable.  "How do I fix this?"

"The instinct to go back up there is right.  She's miserable.  It's not like she was asking you to declare your intentions with a ring.  She was asking you to do something slightly silly to make her laugh and share a good thing with her.  Not just the hunting or the sex.  Though, the incubus?  If you *ever* let your brother do that again I will seeing you on this side sooner than you think and you won't like the asskicking you'll get, son."

Dean looked at him.  "You'd rather we lost them?  They'd come back to get us."

"I'd rather you had gotten any random guy off the street than let him do that."

"Fine."  He turned and found Faith and Buffy there.  "What!" he demanded.  He was getting frustrated again.

"What did you do?" Buffy asked patiently.

"Cartoon boxers," John said.

Faith nodded once then pointed.  "Get your skinny ass back up there and apologize, Dean Winchester.  Or else I'll let you go meet your daddy so he can kick your ass after I'm done with it."  He still looked confused.  "Xander has a sense of humor, even in the worst things," she pointed out.  "Any random apocalypse that she's been in there's been some jokes during the prep and afterward.  Humor helps relieve her tension.  Even I know that."  Buffy nodded.  "See?  She thinks that you can't put up with that and it's one of the few things that's always been a Xander trait.  So get up there and apologize or whatever."

"I do get her sense of humor."

"Apparently not," Buffy said.  "Otherwise you wouldn't be having this macho crisis over cute undies.  If you gave her a funny shirt, do you think she'd wear it?"

"She doesn't care about her clothes."

"Well, she does somewhat," Buffy admitted.  "Or else they'd all be stained and stuff."  He slumped.  "Go back up there and talk to her.  Because if you make her cry I'm going to help Faith remove you from life.  Got it?"  He nodded, trudging back up there.  "And don't tell her!  It'll only make it worse!"  She looked at the ghost.  "He gets that from you, right?  Because I know you were clueless.  How Sam came from you I'm not sure."

"He's a lot like his mother," John told her.  "She was sweet and nice.  The only time she was in those moods we had the boys."  He floated off.  "Going on patrol?"

"Dinner," Faith said.  "It's not even dark yet."  She rolled her eyes, heading off to the Magic Box to hang with Tara and Sam.

Dean broke into the apartment again, closing and locking the door behind himself.  "Xander?"  He heard a sniffle.  "Don't do that.  Faith'll kick my ass if you're crying."  He walked that way, sitting next to her hips.  "You know I like you as a friend and all that.  More than the sex.  Right?"  She shrugged.  "Then why do you need me to wear goofy, stupid looking boxers."

"I like them."

"Then you wear them."  He looked at her.  "You could wear them.  I'm sure whoever designed them for girlfriends to wear."

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"You are."

"No I'm not."

"Then what would you call it?  I live with you.  My brother lives with you.  Hell, we've lied and told people we're married and they believed it."  He looked down at her.  "What happened to the bear?"  It was missing.  Tara was going to kill him.  She pointed at where it was safely laying.  He sighed, laying down to cuddle her.  "I have no idea what's going through your head, Xander.  I like your sense of humor as long as I don't wake up with red hair again."  She snorted.  "I do.  I have.  I laugh with you all the time when we're watching movies.  We laugh when I teach you how to play pool better and you teach me how to count cards.  We laugh with and without my little brother.  I don't see what the problem is."

"Do you actually consider me your girlfriend?"

"Yes.  Otherwise I would've picked up the waitress that was flirting with me last night."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "We agreed on casual stuff and it seemed to creep up on us."  He gave her a squeeze.  "If I gave you something totally goofy and odd to wear, would you?"  She nodded.  "You would?"

"Just once."

"Why?"

"Because you asked."

"Oh."  He considered it.  "If it was anything but cartoons.  Or even more manly cartoons.  GI Joe.  Those cartoons."

"One was Thundercats," she said quietly.

"I didn't see them.  I saw Kermit and Miss Piggy.  I saw smurfs.  I saw Scoobie Doo."

"See, guy cartoon."

"Unisex cartoon," he argued.  "Too many girl moments and Shaggy was clearly trannie and smoking weed."

Xander looked at him.  "I'll give you the weed but trannie?"

"Yeah.  Probably mid transition with the way his t-shirts fit him.  He was always doing girly things.  Then again, I always thought Fred was gay and denying it.  Dad did too."  Xander shook her head and put it back down.  "You didn't?"

"No.  Former football player that couldn't find anything outside of the sport he wasn't good enough to play pro in.  He had to do something to take out his aggression."

"Possibly.  I can see that viewpoint."  He gave her a squeeze.  "See, I do get the way you think and your sense of humor."

"Then wear one."

"It's embarrassing."

"I'm not asking you to strip down to them in public, Dean.  Most guys would've done it because it would've given them a way to strip down and get sex."

"I get all that I need in that area, Xander.  You don't need more, right?"  She shook her head.  He relaxed.  "Thank you.  I don't think I could keep up with it if you turned into your ex."  He nuzzled the back of her neck.  "You wouldn't rather have me commando?" he asked in a teasing voice.

"No.  Then you can get a rash from irritating clothes."

"Yeah, had that two days ago," he admitted. "Boxers like that are made so girlfriends can steal them."

"Actually they're monogamy insurance."

He snickered.  "Definitely.  Any other woman seeing them would know I was taken or strange."  He kissed the back of her neck.  "Is that why you wanted me to wear them?"

"No, I wanted to see you in some of my favorite cartoons.  You're old enough so we watched different cartoons growing up."

"Yeah, I guess we did.  Even though I got a lot of Sam watching cartoons."  He sighed.  "Fine.  You win.  Get me another pair and I'll wear them.  Even though two were in the wrong size."  She looked back at him.  "I thought about it after the rash."

"Laundry detergent build up.  You use too much."  She snuggled again.  "This is nice."

"Yeah, this is nice.  A little bit boring."

"It's the quiet times that make the harder ones more meaningful and easier to deal with."

"Cosmo?"

"No.  Personal experience.  I don't read Cosmo.  Buffy suggested that I read a few articles because I complained about the kinky things one day when I was sore."

"That's fine.  Don't start reading it, all right?"  She nodded.  "Good.  Thank you.  Especially those stupid quizzes."

"The last one I did said that we were perfectly suited."

"Hey, one got it right," he said dryly.  He reached over to stroke down her cheek.  "I didn't want to make you cry."

"You didn't."

"Bull."

"I don't cry unless something's broken."

"If you say so."  He snuggled in harder.  It was boring but nice.  It was comforting.   "We've got to hunt together more often.  I hate when we're apart.  You always find some way to make me horny when I show back up," he said quietly.

"I'm not having sex on Tara's bed."

"Not suggesting it.  I was thinking the dance club and then the incubus."

"You enjoyed it."

"I got the tape too," Dean said dryly.  She gave him a dirty look.  "He was going to put it on the internet or something.  I'm not going to show anyone."

"What would the other girls think?"

"They were stupid for letting him suck them in."

"They were probably all virgins or near virgins when he got to them, Dean.  Not everyone's worldly.  Hell, I've only had you and his sales pitch was pretty damn good.  If I didn't have you I might've went with him."

He felt his stomach tighten and hissed in air through his nose, letting it out slowly through his mouth.  "Don't ever make me hunt you, Xander," he said quietly.  "Please?"

She turned over to look at him.  "I won't if I can help it."  He nodded.  "You too?"

"If I have to off myself to keep you and Sammy from hunting me I will.  I don't even want to think about that."  She hugged him, helping him calm down.  He put it into that perspective.  What did cartoon boxers matter really when they could both die and have to hunt each other some day soon?  He gave her a hard squeeze.  "We should reappear before they come hunting for us."

"Who kicked your ass verbally?"

"Faith and Buffy both yelled at me.  Sam tried really hard and Tara threatened to torture me."  He felt the smile.  "Even Dad yelled at me."  She gave him a look.  "Really.  Tara *swore*.  Sammy had to calm her down because she called me a dumbass."  She nodded, grinning a bit.  "Fine, I'm stupid.  This time.  Usually I'm always right but even I have to blow the curve sometime."  She nodded, putting her head back down.  "Thanks for giving me back my ego."

"It's bigger than your dick, it needed deflated."

He pinched her on the side.  "I may be that big but my ego wasn't, Xander."  She nodded. "No it wasn't."

"Yes it was."  She looked at him.  "It really was."

"Fine, it was as big as my dick is."  He kissed her.  "What's up with this spell to turn you back?"

"You....  You wouldn't care?"

"I would care but it wouldn't matter to this stuff.  It'd make you happier now and then."

"Three days a month.  I'd be a weremale."

Dean gave him an odd look.  "You're joking?"  She shook her head.  "Well, three days.  Do you want to try it?"  She shrugged.  "I can't do more than hold you and let you talk it out, Xander."

"If you had walked we would've done it tonight."

He hummed, kissing her on the forehead.  "If it'll make you happy do it.  I won't care.  It won't stop me when I want some.  We'll have to plan the hunts more carefully now and then but I won't care."

"You wouldn't care about sex with a guy?"

Dean looked at him.  "Do I have to remind you about the groping one?"

"No, but that's different."

"Not really.  You'd still be taking it," he said with a grin.

"What if I wanted to slip it to you?"

"Then we'd see how I felt that night.  It's *real* rare that I've tried that in the past.  I've done guys to get some stress relief but I've only caught a few times."

"So you think?"

"Would it make you feel happier as a woman the rest of the month?"

"I don't know.  I'm finally coming to terms with it."

"Then we'll talk with Tara, see what it entails.  If it's too painful it might not be worth it."  She nodded, snuggling in again. "Did you drive straight through?"  She nodded.  "No sleep at all?"  She shook her head.  "It wasn't an emergency, Xander.  We could've had this talk somewhere else, like a motel."

Someone pounded on the door so she sighed and got up.  "Yes?" she asked the man on the other side.

"I don't rent to you."

"I was helping Tara move and I needed a nap so she's letting me borrow her bed for a few hours."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "Where is Tara?"

"The Magic Box.  If she's not here, she's probably there."  That got a nod.  "Was there a problem?"

"I heard a male voice and a fight."

"The boyfriend was helping us and got here late.  I was chewing him a new one."

"Oh.  You're one of those."  He gave her a look.  "Pity."  Dean came out already scowling.  "You put up with her being a shrew?"

"She only does it when I'm stupid.  The rest of the time she's great and wonderful.  Every guy should have what I have.  But I will break bones if you try to take mine."  The landlord backed off.  "Anything else?  We were going to make Tara dinner."  He stomped off.  Dean slammed the door.  "Jackass."

"I ...could've...."

"Shut up, Xander.  He had no right to say that to you.  You're not a shrew.  I wouldn't be friends with you if you were a shrew."  He looked down at her.  He noticed her confused look.  "What?"

"We're friends too?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

He nodded, looking a bit confused himself.  "Yeah, what did you expect?"

"Anya and I weren't friends.  Cordy and I were but we had a strange relationship."

He pulled her closer and kissed her.  "I'm going to kick their asses for not appreciating you and screwing you up.  I wouldn't sleep with someone long-term like I do you if we weren't friends.  You're more than a fuckbuddy, Xander.  You have been for nearly a year."  She nodded, resting against his chest.  He kissed her on the head.  "I'm going to screw up their lives for treating you badly."

"It's done and gone."

"It still hurts you."

"So does your dad."

"Good point.  Fine, we'll protect each other and Sammy."  She nodded, smiling a bit, he could feel it against his shoulder.  He kissed her on the head.  "Want to go eat and bring her back dinner?"  She laughed, poking him on the side.  "What?"

"You're still not wearing boxers."

"Yeah, I noticed that.  Where are mine?"

"My drawer."

"I'll get them later."

She looked up.  "You could wear the new ones."

"I could but they're still silly looking."

"Who's going to see except me and Sammy?"

He sighed, nodding a bit.  "Fine."  He went down to the car, coming back with something to put on.  His shirt was stained and sweaty anyway.  He changed and let her see before he zipped up his pants, getting a deep kiss that pushed him against the doorframe. "Hmm.  Pouncing?" he teased.

"No.  Not yet."  She smiled.  "Tara would mind."

"She probably would."  He took her hand and she beamed at him.  "I know, it's high school.  I need to make sure nothing here attacks you or me."  They walked out together, going to get pizza and bring it to the Magic Box.  They kept one for themselves but the others could share the second one.  Their family would understand; they were both bottomless pits now and then.  He looked at Tara.  "This spell, how painful?"

"Not really.  A little bit for a few minutes.  Then the three days of the full moon she'd be back to himself again.  I'm more worried about adjusting every month."

Xander shook her head.  "No, it'll be great to get into my own body," she assured her.  "Please?  I don't care if I end up in a coma for a day."  Dean smacked her on the side of the head.  Faith got him for her.

"I don't want her in that much pain," he said, staring the slayer down.  Faith giggled and patted him like he was a dog.  "Want me to bark?"

"If you want."

Xander looked at her.  "I have at least three knives on me plus a stake, Faith."

"Gotcha.  No more casual.  Okay then."

Sam giggled.  "That's okay, we've had to lie a few times about motel rooms when there wasn't more than one open."

"Oh, dear lord tell me you didn't sign in as married?" Giles demanded.

"No, in those states one of us signs in, not both of us.  We may say it but not sign it."  Giles sighed and smiled at that.  "You do know Travers wants Sammy and I to be her Watcher?"

"I thought it was his idea of romantic," Xander told him.

Giles smirked and nodded.  "Just about.  He rescued his wife from a burning building.  They married six weeks later after two dates."

"Good thing we said yes then," Sam said.  Dean nodded.  Giles patted them both on the back.  "It's a nice paycheck when we're traveling."

"It is," Dean agreed.  "Did you want the tape of how we saved those women from the incubus?"

"Hell.  No."  Sam scowled at him.  "I don't want any photographic proof, Dean.  Do you really need it?"

"Well, no," he said.  "Just making sure."

"Incubus?" Giles asked.

"Gathering a harem and changing them to succuba.  Apparently they're behind in hiring too."  Xander grinned at Buffy.  "Because you and Faith have lived so long, there's less slayers being born at the moment.  Therefore you really can't get dead."

"Hmm.  System changing?" Faith asked.

"They're having to recruit from colleges."

Faith smirked.  "Hey, something for people with a liberal arts degree to do.  Buffy, there's a job for you."  Buffy smacked her on the shoulder.  "It is!"

"I don't want to work for Travers.  Eww!  Nasty thoughts!  Sam, hit her for me!"

"She might pounce, Buffy.  Sorry, I only like sweet girls and women."  Tara blushed.

Faith looked at Tara.  "If you wanted to try it, he'd be a good one."

Dean nodded.  "If he retires to be your guy, then I'll probably leave him alone," he told her.  She blushed brighter.  "We might even be able to add onto the cabin so you guys can have a real room of your own."

"I still like girl parts," she said shyly, blushing so warmly Faith could feel it from her seat.

"Well, if you want to consider it, let us know and I'll give Sammy time off."  Sam got up and huffed off.  "Get me some more water while you're up," he called.  He kissed Xander.  "We really have got to add another room onto the cabin, Xander.  The kitchen's cramped and so's the living room."

"It was meant as a vacation place, not a permanent place."

"I know that.  It's nice that Travers had someone put in a hot water heater."  Buffy and Faith both shuddered.  "There's a big tub you can pull out and warm water for," Dean assured them.  "The pond leads to the water supply so we can't use soap in it."

"But it's great to swim in and I've got all sorts of jungle gym equipment set up," Xander said dryly.

Dean nodded.  "She can even use it drunk."  Buffy gave him a horrified look.  "We got up there the day her first cycle started.  She and the vodka were becoming friendly.  She did okay with it in her system.  We sparred and everything."

"Damn," Faith said.  "Mine made me cry."

"I was old enough to drink, you weren't," Xander said dryly, giving her a look.  "Cordy came to nag too."

Buffy shuddered.  "I don't want to know.  My mother cried.  I cried.  It was enough."  She went to help Sam get Dean some water.  She even gave him a hug.  "If you do end up together, I'll even help her move," she said gently, smiling at him.  "She's too nice to stay here forever and ever, Sam."  She patted him on the back and got Dean the water, bringing it out.  "Here, he forgot."

"Thanks, Buffy.  So, Dad still nagging you?"

"He's been trying to get me up at dawn for PT.  Whatever that is."

"Physical training," Giles told her.  "He was a Marine, Buffy."

"Yeah, well, dawn's *way* early when you don't get to bed until three.  Plus, I'm still apparently supposed to have homework?"  Everyone nodded.  "Why?  It's *college*; homework was elementary school."

"Sammy used to complain about his too, but he had ten page papers due about every other week."  She shuddered, shaking her head and whimpering.

"I don't think she likes to write papers," Faith said.

"Buffy, college, construction work, or fast food," Xander said simply.

She looked at Giles.  "Can I join Willow in her coma?"

"No," he said.  "Quit going to visit her.  We don't want something to follow you and kill her."

"Yes, Giles.  I was only talking to her.  They said on tv it's good for people in a coma."

"If you want them to wake up faster," Sam said as he came out.  "We want her to sleep until she's drained at least most of the way down.  That way she can't wake up and retaliate against Tara or Xander, Buffy."

"I know but it sucks!  She's my friend."

"She was mine too," Xander agreed quietly, making her look down.  "You know she's not really lost.  Some day, your kids may wake her up to ask her about how cool you were in high school."

"Yeah, but that requires me having kids."

"Talk to the man," Faith said, waving a hand at Giles.  "But you'd have to give birth in the summer slowdown so we wouldn't be short."

"A kid between her and Giles would be bad," Dean told her.  He would not shudder, he'd make himself not shudder at that thought.

"I meant to ask for permission, not to get knocked up by him.  Mind out of the gutter, Dean."

"And bring hers with it," Xander quipped, getting a kick from Faith and a swat from Dean.  "Like it didn't go there."

"Well, yeah," she said with a grin.  "What about you, X?  You feel like the knocked up shuffle?"

"I can't even handle having a period, Faith!  No, not yet.  Maybe in ten years or so."

"Fine, spoil my fun being an auntie that corrupts."

"Nah, you'd give the baby weapons like I would," Dean said with a grin.  She laughed at that.  Xander rolled her eyes.  "She'd just give it swords and stuff."

"I do use a gun now and then.  Swords are more practical."  She looked at Faith.  "When I first got to the cabin there was a demon there that was about as tall as the cabin was who wanted to claim me as a sex toy."  Faith gaped then burst out in high-pitched giggles.  "Yeah.  One of those.  Thank you, guys, if I never said it."

"Welcome," they said together, both eating another bite of pizza.

"Way to Doublemint, guys," Buffy quipped.

"It happens and it's freaky," Xander told her.  "Sometimes they even dress alike and then it gets bad when they come home late."

"You guys all share the same bed?" Faith asked.

"Half the motels we stay at only have single bed rooms," Dean said.  "If we're lucky there's a couch.  Yes, before you ask, Sammy does cuddle."  Sam punched him on the arm.  "And so does Xander."  She pinched him.  "So usually I let them cuddle up together and try to sleep on my little corner of the bed but then they creep and they pounce and I get used as a pillow.  The first few times were very creepy.  I had to shower off a lot of drool from those nights."

Faith shook her head.  "Sorry, my mind went places it shouldn't go."

"Let's not forget the nights when there's no motel for *hours* of driving and we're all exhausted," Xander said dryly.  "Those night it's sleeping in the car.  The blazer if we're together since they can stretch out, or the Impala if they're not."

"I get the backseat," Sam said happily.  "Less problems from the steering wheel and gear shift."

"You might try to drive and then I'd have to spank you," Dean said seriously.  "You can't drive unless I have a hangover or I'm injured.  And please, Xander, the next time I have a concussion and we have to live in the back of the blazer, wake us up by poking, not by country music."  Xander cackled at that.  "Five days from her last battle to a friend's house for some recuperation time because she's injured and driving slow to baby it.  Every few hours there was loud country music to wake us up so she didn't have to quit driving."  He looked at his girlfriend.  "I promise I won't get a concussion like that again where you have to baby it if you poke me next time."

"Fine."

"Thanks."  He blew a kiss and went back to eating, making Sammy shake his head.  "What?"

"You're insane," Sam told him.  "I don't know what got you but you're insane."

"You're the one who bites," Dean shot back.

"Actually, I'm the one who bites and only when you try to wake me up at an ungodly hour," Xander reminded him.  "Sam sucks in his sleep."

"Oh, I didn't forget.  You bit me recently too."  He looked at her.  "Now and then I don't mind.  Do not make a habit of it, Xander."

She just grinned.  "But you taste so good."

Dean finished that last piece of pizza, his water, then got up and pulled Xander with him.  "Be back," he said.  "Tara, we won't be at your place."

"Use my dorm room," she called, waving weakly after them.  She looked at Sam.  "Are they always like that?"

"Dean seems to like to pounce her.  Often.  Then again she likes to tease him by teasing others and that makes him pounce.  They've gotten very good at baiting the vampires in the clubs.  Then he'll pounce when she's done."

"I need on that incentive plan," Faith sighed.

"Yeah, me too," Buffy complained with a small sigh too.  "Giles, can we date?"

"Only if you date someone benign, girls."

"I dated Riley last time, I'm getting better," Buffy pointed out helpfully.  "He was alive."

"I said benign, Buffy.  Dating a commando is not benign."

"Shoot.  So I have to date someone nice instead of someone who'll understand the job?"

He considered it.  "Ask Xander if she knows any other nice boys."  They both smiled at that thought.

Sam shook his head.  "Not too many young ones in our circle, sorry, girls."  They both sighed and slumped a bit. "But I'll ask around.  Maybe someone's got a nephew or a son we don't know about."   They grinned.  His phone beeped so he looked at the text message.  "Tara, they said your RA is mean and he's got a broken nose because he tried to grab Xander by the breast.  He's going to the ER.  Dean said you're not in trouble and he explained as they're helping you finish moving stuff so they're going to pack."  She nodded at that.  "Sorry."

"No, he's a mean boy.  He picks on me too."

"Is that the one I tripped and laughed at?" Faith asked.

Buffy nodded.  "Yeah, I knocked him off a ladder for laughing at her dress one day too."  She sipped her water, smiling at Sam.  "Are you sure there aren't any you know of?"

"I'll call Bobby tonight and ask.  He'd know."  She beamed at that.  "Or ask Gunn if he knows anyone."

"I might.  I'm not sure Mom would accept it if I did the interracial dating thing though."

"He might know some nice boys your mother would approve of," Giles told her.  "And no, she wouldn't care.  She wants you to settle down with someone decent who'll understand you."

Sam got up and walked outside.  "Hey, Bobby.  Sunnydale.  Why?"  He smiled.  "Actually, no.  Dean and Xander are making out in Tara's dorm room while we're having dinner at the Magic Box.  Sure, I can ask."  He opened the door.  "Giles, is Bobby's order shipped yet?"

"I'm waiting on something to come in.  I'm going to ship it out tomorrow if it isn't in and do that separately without charging him extra."

Sam smiled.  "Thanks."  He closed the door.  "Heard that?  Something isn't in yet.  If it's not in tomorrow he'll ship what he has and then the last thing without charging you more.  No, Dean and Xander had a fight so Xander came to pout at Tara.  We chased Xander.  Cartoon boxers if you can believe it."  Their friend laughed.  "Yeah, one of those things.  It's settled.  They're all hand-holding and looking cute again.  Well, we're doing a spell tonight to let Xander be male at least during the full moon.  No, there was another reason.  Buffy and Faith are both looking for boyfriends who might have a clue what they're doing.  Which means either a hunter or the kid of one.  I figured if there were any young ones, you'd know.  Both of them.  They're both single.  Yeah, might have to but it's quiet most of the time.  Two of them keep it down for the most part."

A vampire went to game face and rushed him so he staked it and moved off while the dust drifted down.  "Yeah, that was Xander.  A vampire named Merres.  He was basically running the whole town.  She didn't realize it because the shield she has blocks their warning system cramps.  Yeah, turns out most of the town was.  We basically fought our way out of parts of it then they set it on fire themselves.  Sure, I'm here.  Nah, I'm fine."  He frowned and staked another one staring at him oddly.  "What?  No, vampire.  Nothing unusual.  No, they're good again.  I had to explain it.  The girls had to explain it.  Dad had to explain.  Finally Dean went back inside and talked to her.  No, she stole his old ones."  He grinned. "He might like that.  I'm assuming he is but I'm not undressing him.  Thanks, Bobby.  Sure, when we leave town I'll call again.  That way you can make sure you don't have to hunt us down or anything.  Miss you too, man.  Later."  He hung up and looked at the vampire standing beside him.  "Hi.  Do I know you?"  She wasn't attacking so he'd give her the benefit of the doubt for the moment.

"The stars sing about the blood bond between you and the third slayer," she said, moving closer to stare into his eyes.  "Such pretty pictures of kittens the stars do paint in my head."  She smiled.  "Such a pretty little puppy dog who licks.  The kitties hiss at him when he does but they give him belly pets before making him into a good boy again."

Sam gave her a look.  He knew who this was now.  "Do other seers get the same cracked out visions you do?"

She laughed.  "The stars tell me many things, Samuel.  Many pretty things and many horrible things.  Sometimes together so they have to fight.  All pretty and dancing and with tea."  She smiled, stroking his cheek.  "The blood does tell.  Even with the unnecessary one."  She moved closer.  "I would love to see you dance for Miss Edith."

"I don't know Miss Edith."

"She's my friend.  She's naughty sometimes and I have to poke her eyes out, but she understands and lets me punish her."

Buffy came out.  "Dru, get away from Sam.  He's Tara's."  She pulled Sam back inside.  "Go be a strange vampire somewhere else.  Spike's in Shady Rest."  She slammed the door and looked at him.  "Ignore her.  She is a seer but unless she gave you something a bit more concrete you'll never understand it without Spike interpreting."

"She said the pretty and the horrible things have to fight and dance for her pleasure."

"Aw, man!  Another apocalypse?" Buffy complained, stomping back to the books.  "Giles, a bit of warning?"

"Xander said Travers heard something," Sam offered, shrugging a bit.  He texted Dean to be careful, Dru was in town then went back to the pizza.  One didn't waste food.

***

Dean looked at his phone.  "I swear I'm kicking his ass," he muttered, pulling off of Xander to read it.  "Oh, Dru's in town."

"We'll find her later.  Spike's in Shady Rest."  She pulled him back down, taking control of his mouth.  "Mine?"

"I guess I am," he said with a grin.  "So I'm hoping to say the same?"

She licked up his throat.  "Of course I am."

"No more incubuses?"

"Not unless you're there too."

"Good."  He grinned.  "That was kinda hot."  She nodded. "Feel better?"

"I know how Anya felt."  She kissed him again, making him moan and arch back into her body.  She suddenly sat up.  "What day is it?"

"Um, thursday, why?"

"Didn't replace my patch yesterday."

"I've got a condom," Dean said.  "Just in case."  She looked at him.  "I always use one when I'm not with you."  She relaxed and smiled at that.  "You're replacing it tomorrow?"

"I didn't bring any."

"We can pick some up, Xander."  He found it and ripped it open with his teeth then rolled it down.  Then he could get back to what he had been doing.  There was no way there'd be any knocking up this month.  "Emergency pills?"

"I know where to get 'em."

"Good girl."  He kissed her again and moved harder and faster.  It was good.  Very, very good.  Room shaking good.  Then he realized it was a small earthquake and it was good for his rhythm anyway.  So apparently God agreed they were good together too.

***

Xander watched the moon rise the next night.  Tara had done the spell as they had planned.  He looked down at himself, beaming happily.  "Look, boy parts!" he squealed, hugging her.  She hugged back and let him go hug Dean, who gave him a tight squeeze.  "Are you sure?"

"Means I can pounce you harder," he teased.  Xander hugged him again and gave him a kiss.  "No offense, but shave."  Xander laughed, nodding a bit as he hugged Sam.

"So this is what you look like," Sam teased.  He grinned at his buddy.  "Good.  Now, go do something about the ugly shirt?"

"I like my shirt," he complained.

Dean looked then shook his head.  "No way are you hunting with us in that shirt, Xander.  It'll draw attention.  Maybe as a distraction while I play pool but I might have to stare too.  So, no.  Get new shirts tomorrow."  He walked him off, taking him back to the store, Buffy and Sam guarding Tara.  "Thanks, Tara."

"You're welcome."  She smiled at Buffy.  "That was good."

"That was very good."  She winked at Sam.  "Feel a vamp.  Go on ahead, I'll be right behind you."

He nodded, walking off with Tara, letting her set the pace.  She wrapped an arm around his and he grinned at her, getting one back.  She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek and he turned, kissing her for real.

"That way you know," he said gently, making her blush but giggle and nod.

Dean looked over at Xander.  "We should do a patrol to make sure the slayer skills stayed and to make sure you didn't lose any of your former conditioning."

"Okay."  He led the way to the new cemetery, letting Dean finally walk next to him.  He pulled a stake out of his back pocket, gripping it tightly.  A few vampires started to rush then stopped, heads cocked to the side while they sniffed.  "What?"

"You smell like a slayer, but not, and you're a guy," one of them complained.  "What are you?"

"A Xander," he said, lunging to stake him.

Dean hung back to watch, shaking his head.  "Don't make me train you in this body too, Xander.  I'll have to rant at Giles for not teaching you how to use  your strength."  He staked the one that came at him.  Dean moved closer, getting back to the training they had started with.  Really, how could he expect to slay and hunt without any proper training?  And hey, it'd lead to sex later, it usually did these days.

John watched his boys and his...son-in-law at the moment, shaking his head.  They were going to have some hard times ahead but it'd be mostly fun.  Dean would eventually retire.  Xander would retire with him when Dean came in and said he was through, he was too tired and sore to do it anymore while sitting in her lap.  Sam would show that he had been
taking online classes for a law degree for a while now and Xander would gladly let him stay.  Every now and then a hunt would pull all three out, but maybe only twice a year.  Then Xander would have a problem with a patch and not put one on for a few days.  Dean would forget the condom; Xander would think it was all right until the morning sickness freaked her out.  Dean would get her calmed down within a day when he figured out she had run to Bobby for help.

Then they'd actually do the real wedding since Dean didn't realize that he didn't have to sign them in.  He had told an officer they were married in a common law state.  It had went into a report.  It was on the books.  To the government they were married.  Sam would stay with them, not finding any girl able to put up with his darker moods.  He'd eventually go back to his nighttime creeping and Dean would let him because it was fine with him and Xander.  Xander would introduce him to a nice lesbian that had a clue about the hunting, the slayer that came after Faith.  She'd bear him heirs with her girlfriend, who ended up being her Watcher.  Dean and Xander would become the ones people called first for research so it gave them something to do when their son was fussy.  The whole network would dote on little Wesley Jonathan.  Bobby would make silly faces at him then deny it.  Xander would talk Dean into another one a few years later and he'd pretend to give in.  She was smart though, she knew his weakness and Sammy was a good uncle to babysit.

She'd get him so jealous he'd pounce her and take her there in the club, like when they were young and in their twenties.  A few months later he'd complain but he wasn't unhappy and their daughter would be perfectly smart, and a smartass.  Not a slayer either.  The kids would grow up with the knowledge but not the need to hunt his boys had.  Then a third one would come along mysteriously but Dean stayed mute on the cause since he was fixed after little Tara, named after her favorite aunt, was born.  He was a strong boy.  One who'd probably carry on the family hunting tradition.  The cabin would get added onto.  Little Bobby James would be adorably stupid about most things but hiding how smart he was.  They'd have to put up with a new pink room for Tara but it happened.  They would stop Wesley when he wanted one.  They'd die after Bobby had graduated, more than enough time to see the world change and they'd go together, or nearly so, when a demon came for them.  They'd kill it but die from it.  Then Bobby and Tara would take up the slack while Wesley did the research stuff and ended up joining the Watchers as the watcher for the newest slayer sent to Sunnydale, his cousin Danielle.  Then the family's drama would start all over again.

Or least that's what John saw of the future and who knows if he was right or not.

The End.

back to index: